Sunbeams, Prostitution, and Footsteps in the Sand.

Posted by Melonie | April 29, 2009 | 59 Comments

I had a strange Sabbath. To put it bluntly, I wasn’t feeling the Spirit. I wish I could say that I have no one to blame but myself, but I am blaming others as well. Mea Culpa? You be the judge.

The first aggravation is that TPTB have put me as the Sunbeam teacher. The Sunbeams are all little gems to love, but this isn’t the cushy job of creating centerpieces for Enrichment, if you get my drift. After twenty-two blissful years in Relief Society, they decided to put me as the teacher to my own three-year old. Lucky me, you say? I DREAD IT! I love the Dickens (yes, as in Charles) out of him, but isn’t it enough that I have him all week, then wrestle with him in Sacrament, and now I have to deal with him for two whole more hours! That is laying the final straw on my sweet mother camel back.

The whole Sabbath morning I could feel the dread of dealing with a group of three-year olds starting to eat at me in between stopping my older sons from arguing. I kept trying to stifle it, but it kept knocking on the door over and over until I finally just opened and said, “Come on in and take a seat, already.” By the time the family entourage arrived at church to find a place among the rows of seat-saving scriptures, I knew I had no peace in my soul or song in my heart.

I pleaded, “God, take this nasty feeling from me so I will feel okay to take the sacrament.” “Father, I love your sweet Primary kids, but the fact is, I don’t want to come to church anymore. Please help.” I don’t think my prayer was really sincere though because I wasn’t making any headway in the black cloud department.

To add to my feelings of angst, a returned missionary spoke. He started talking about the atonement. I thought his words might be my balm of Gilead, but, alas, what he said only added bewilderment to my already grumpy self. He started talking about a “golden contact” that got pregnant at thirteen by a forty-year old man from the village. Then, how she married another boy and tricked him into thinking it was his baby. Then, he went on and on about the sordid details of “selling her body” and her life of “prostitution.” Luckily, at the end of the story, he brought her “hope” although she disappeared one day and they never saw or heard from her again. I looked over at my two pre-teen sons and wondered about the questions that would be forthcoming. “Mom, what does ‘selling your body’ mean?” “Why, honey, where did you hear that phrase?” “In Sacrament meeting, don’t you remember?”

After the RM, a fine high councilman got up to speak. “This should be good,” I thought. (Really, don’t read that in a sarcastic tone. I really thought he would be a good speaker). Alas, he asked a question I dread. Which drop of blood that Christ spilt am I responsible for? Which one of those drops had my name on it? This always makes no sense to me. “Oh no!” I thought. “What have you said?” My worries were confirmed when later that day our dinner conversation topic involved my eleven-year old calculating the total population of the world past and present and asked how each of them could have their name on each of Christ’s blood droplets. But, all’s well that ended well, the Speaker concluded with his rendition of the poem “Footprints in the Sand.” If you haven’t heard that poem before, I will personally send you a gift of the sheet music to the song “His Hands” or “I Heard Him Come,” if you prefer.

Before you write any comments below, I want you all to know that I am fully aware I have repenting to do. I was feeling overwhelmed, negative, and judgmental. And I will admit that this is not the usual sacrament meeting. I have felt the Spirit at my ward many times. However, the question that keeps coming up in my mind is why are there so many sacrament meetings like this? What can I personally do about it? How can I come and worship my Lord and Savior in an environment like this? Any advice? Please be kind, I need all my reserves to face the Sunbeams this coming Sunday.

Category: Slice of Life

Comments

59 Responses to “Sunbeams, Prostitution, and Footsteps in the Sand.”

Lucy
April 29th, 2009 @ 6:11 am

I think you are perfectly allowed to have a bad day now and then. You have nothing to be guilty about. They come..they go. I’m just assuming that will be the case until we’re dead. Life is about trying over and over. I have to say though that the analogy about which drops of Christ’s blood we are responsible seems to be popular in talks lately. I’ve heard it alot. And while it may be true, I don’t need to hear about that guilt, too.

And what’s with the saving seats with scriptures in church? That should be a new commandment of what NOT to do.
Emily U
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:07 am

The last thing I’d ever do is call you to repentance!

You are a saint for doing what you do every week. My dad says his ward does the seat-saving thing, and he hates it, too. Do you think you could mention to your bishop that it makes you feel unwelcome/frustrated/bad to come in and not be able to sit down b/c of the seat saving?
Just imagine how a visitor would feel.

The fact is, in a church with a lay ministry, some of the talks (maybe most of them) are going to be pretty bad. There are advantages to letting the average Jane have pulpit time, but let’s face it, there are disadvantages, too. I don’t know what the solution is, other than to make sure your own talks and testimonies are your very best effort.

It’s OK to have a really bad day at church. Just try to take the long view =)
jenny
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:12 am

You have my full support, condolences, understanding and the like…

1. I LOATHE the scripture seat-saving. I have never seen it so bad as in our current ward. Ugh.

2. My children (5 of them, mostly boys) never fight and bicker as much as they do on Sunday mornings. I can’t find a solution for it and my husband is always and forever at morning meetings. It’s extremely hard to feel the spirit when you start the morning that way…

3. I don’t get some of those “inspired” callings either. Like in my ward when they called this poor woman to the nursery who does full-time day care out of her home all week. That just seems cruel and unusual.

4. The more I hear them, the more I think RM homecoming talks need to be previewed and approved by the propper authorities… I’ve heard some choice ones as well. (One of them I fully expected the bishop to stop him–but he never did. Yikes.)

5. I know HC speakers get a bad rap, but I have heard some excellent talks as well. But I am with you when they whip out those very tired stories, poems and anecdotes that were only spiritually uplifting the first thousand times you heard them. They ought to be like the fashion of the decade: put away when every one’s tire of wearing them and recycled only after twenty years or so, so a new generation can appreciate them.

It is frustrating when I experience Sundays like this one. When my children were younger and I had a baby and multiple toddlers and my husband was in the bishopbric, my Sundays were like this every week. I often thought to myself “why am I even coming? I get nothing spiritual from this, I spend most of my time in the hall and come home feeling worse than when I left.” I had to remind myself that there were several very good reasons for my continuing to come every week. The first was to show my Heavenly Father that I was submissive, obedient, respectful and willing to start fresh every week. The second, because if I stopped going at least regularly, it would be very easy to slip into that routine. Much easier than I would like to think it would be. And third, to set a pattern and example for my children: We go, we do things–even if and when they’re hard. We love the Lord.

Hoping for a better week for you next Sunday. Hang in there with those sunbeams!

And just know you are not alone.
jendoop
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:23 am

Melonie, this will sound so Mormony trite, but I love you for being real.

Being a primary counselor I thank you for doing your calling even when you don’t want to. Some think it is easier to teach your own child’s primary class – I know the opposite is true. Sunbeams are not easy. Early in my experience in callings I taught the Sunbeams, just two cute little girls; and I had a crying breakdown one Sunday!

There have been several times that I have left sacrament meeting because of a crying child or because of my own frustration and have found comfort and peace in a quiet room reading scriptures or walking outside. Sometimes your heart needs peace more than it needs counsel.

And as for the ownership of the blood of Christ – hate the analogy! Didn’t we just have a discussion on this blog about horrid object lessons? Remember that Christ’s atonement is infinite and eternal, no limit! He would never want us to feel so guilty that we would not go to him to use the gift that he has already purchased and willingly given. Again, the analogy makes my skin crawl – the Savior is more loving and compassionate than that. There is a wonderful quote out there somewhere about guilt being good only as it motivates us to repent, beyond that it is a tool of Satan to discourage and demean us.

To use a few more trite Mormon phrases- You are a daughter of God, be gentle with yourself.
Stephen M (Ethesis)
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:29 am

I’ve ended up teaching both of my surviving daughters in primary at difficult stages in their lives and am grateful that I had that opportunity.

It is probably different for a dad than a mom.
Ginger
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:38 am

I hate Sundays like the one you describe. Not what I need at this point in my life. I really don’t think the Savior is pointing to us and saying, “Which drop of my blood did you spill?!?!?” He isn’t like that. He loves us and willingly went through his suffering. I can’t begin to compare anything we go through, but would you change going through pregnancy and childbirth even when your children are being rotten? I wouldn’t. And I don’t believe the Savior would change anything.

That being said, I was once the primary president, and for various reasons, I prayed and prayed, and prayed some more (and some more) to be released. Finally, I realized it wasn’t going to happen, so I decided to buckle down and get to the work of really doing the best job I could of being the primary president. The next Sunday, I got released.

My point is, until we change our hearts about our callings, I believe the Lord has something he wants us to learn. Just as he suffered in the garden and on the cross, and was able to endure it all, we can go through our own type of suffering, no matter what it may be (and teaching my own child in their sunbeam class would DEFINITELY qualify!) We need to learn to endure what we are given.

This is not a judgement of you. Rather a suggestion to try to figure out how to make teaching the sunbeams a more enjoyable experience for you. Maybe ask for a team teacher, if possible, but figure out how to make that a spiritual experience (for them and you), and then the rest of Sunday might not be so bad.

Good luck, and God bless!
HeidiAnn
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:40 am

There are a couple of things I have done in this situation. First, pray, but you have already done that-so take it a step further by fasting, and tell the Lord that you don’t want to do this (teach Sunbeams), but you will if it is His will, and to please bless you with a desire to do it (or to help you not see/feel the difficulty of it). Second, tell your primary president the same thing, as well as the bishop if needed. They may have already been thinking about your situation. I think if you express to the Lord and your leaders your willingness to fulfill your calling (it seems you are very willing). I have been in a similar situation, and these things really helped, even just having people know about how you feel even if you’re not released can still really help. They can’t help bear your burdens if they don’t know what they are. You might be one of those people who appear a lot more capable than they feel (notice I said FEEL, not ARE:) ).
Katie
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:43 am

Something that I think is important any time you’re feeling stressed is to lower your expectations. As in, maybe every sacrament meeting isn’t going to be spiritual or even pleasant, but the fact that you go anyway shows your dedication and worthiness. If you aren’t beating yourself up the whole time about what your experience should be like, then it will also be easier to find the positives that are there, and it will make it easier to see the solutions you haven’t noticed. Maybe it’s because I’m such a perfectionist, but I have to lower expectations all the time, and it’s often the greatest way I can get my good attitude back and focus on really doing my best with what I have.
Miggy
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:50 am

For some reason I don’t expect a lot from Sacrament meeting and church in general. I think it’s because I remember a professor at the BYU telling me that sacrament meeting is primarily for the new convert, it’s not where we’re to gain our important spiritual insights. That made sense to me. It’s got to be geared toward the newest members with the most basic of gospel understanding, otherwise it would do no good to most who need it. Not that it can’t be good and insightful, but I don’t think it’s practical to expect amazing calculus lectures when many of the students are struggling with basic addition….so to speak. Also, I think the idea that our spirituality and growth is in our hands–our scripture study, our prayers and our life experiences coupled with those is where we’re going to gain our greatest insight. I think of church as a place where we learn on everyone else’s time and they learn on ours. I try to remember that I too have given laughable talks and lame lessons…and I learned better (hopefully)…and they will too. Just think of the patience Heavenly Father has to endure when dealing with us… I think the patience required of us to deal with each other is considerably less.

Hope that came off right….just some thoughs off the top of my head.
Miggy
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:55 am

To clarify…I dont’ think he (my professor) meant to pinpoint all converts as the ones who have the most basic understanding of gospel principles. I think it was a general statement about those who are spiritually young or immature, obviously that fits members of all backgrounds.
Faith Not Fear
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:08 am

It’s hard to go when you’re hoping for a feast but all you feel you get is soda crackers! However, perhaps someone else needed to hear what was said, or one of the speakers needed to learn what they learned writing their talk.
I read last week that Elder Bednar told the missionaries in Taiwan to listen for the impressions they got while he spoke (see Church News article) — I know I’ve gotten impressions specific to my needs that weren’t necessarily said by the speaker/teacher but came by the Spirit.
As far as the calling, I can empathize — we asked that none of our Nursery leaders be mothers of Nursery kids for that very reason. Definitely explain your concerns to the Primary president, but with that willing heart that if it needs to be….
Then, if it needs to be, give it your all! Prepare early & well, and plan for the possible challenges:
- what if I run out of lesson before I run out of time?
- what if they don’t want to sit and listen?
- how can I involve them physically as well as mentally?
- what if my child causes problems?
That preparation seemed to help lessons go smoother with our Nursery kids.
Then go with an eye and a heart open to both the spiritually sweet (one of the most spiritual experiences I ever had was in Nursery) and the 3 year old funny!
If you write both down, you can see the fruits of your labors and the Spirit, and maybe someday write a survival guide for another Sunbeam teacher!
sc
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:14 am

I’ll give you everything but the angst about your calling as Sunbeam teacher. You said you’ve spent 22 years in Relief Society, I’ve spent about two years in relief society and the rest 15+ in primary.

In general the bishopric doesn’t care about primary, they poach teachers and music leaders and ignore evidence that consistency is the key to a well-run primary. You also have your faith tested by having SEVEN people turn down the calling of Sunbeam teacher. And then you realize that you are the only idiot that says yes to every calling in your ward.

So put your game face on and decide to love teaching the Sunbeams. If you keep them in the classroom the whole time, do something else, let them walk outside, or color, or eat snacks, but find a way to love the hour you spend teaching them.

Also my fondest memories are of having my mother be my teacher. I was one of nine children and I never got her to myself. And even though I had to share her with the other class members, it was still time without the siblings.

Susan
Eileen
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:20 am

Melonie,

So the primary finally got you, huh?! I seem to recall trying to rope you in while you were in Silverdale, but somehow you always were just out of grasp.

As a lifetime primary presidency member (seriously, we’re going on about 15 years now) I want to give you a big hug for teaching sunbeams. I don’t know the situation in your ward, but we always try to avoid having a parent teach their own child for the very valid reasons you mentioned. However, and I hope you take this in the positive vein in which it’s being sent, you are so perfect for primary! I can completely picture a primary president doing the happy dance when they heard you get sustained.

Once after an RM talk, my son asked, “What did the speaker mean when he said ‘white trash’?” Seriously. Maybe RM’s should do their whole talk in the newly-aquired foreign language and we could be blissfully unaware.

I’m so drained after church every Sunday that I typically sit in the car in our driveway and let Lyle take all the kids inside. Through the closed door, I’ll hear Maya asking her dad if I’m coming in. “Just give her a few minutes,” he’ll say. I love sitting there in the peace and quiet of the hot car, making swirly patterns in the dashboard dust with my happy-to-be-out-of-Church-shoes toes. You should try it sometime.

Love you,
Eileen
FoxyJ
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:28 am

I’ve had similar Sundays, believe me. And I keep getting called to primary presidencies, which is a calling I have a love/hate relationship with. I also dread coming to church some days because you never know which kids are going to have issues, which teachers might not be there, which parents are going to freak out, etc. Being in a leadership calling makes me feel so insecure. Ugh. Sometimes sacrament meetings are so hard too. Last week the missionaries spoke, and I don’t think they understood what it’s like to have small children (we’re in a ‘student ward’ with young families) because they both went on and on and we were over time. It did give me a chance to reflect on how much I’ve changed and grown since my mission 10 years ago. A few weeks ago someone in the bishopric said something that offended me a bit and I’ve been struggling with it ever since, but I’ve been praying every Sunday to get over it and just enjoy church. Like someone said, there are many reasons to go. I like to take the long view and realize that things will change, people will be released, different people will speak next week, and that I always have a chance to try again. Some weeks just won’t be very spiritual, but if I’m not even there how can I have the chance to feel the spirit?

I think this post should have the title ‘tolerating the untolerable’
Camille
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:30 am

I have had those Sundays! My issue with this whole post was not your situation at all, it’s my issue with the talk given by the HC. I have heard that talk everywhere, from my seminary teacher to HC talk. My seminary teacher actually took a nail put it to a board and told everybody that everytime you sin you’re crucifing the Savior again and he starts pounding the nail into the block of wood. I find that very offensive. I know that we are to look at sin with absolute abhorrence but we all sin and fall short. The Lord wants us to feel as if we can come to him, throughout the scriptures he asks us to come to him. I feel that the HC talk, I’m sure he had the best of intentions, negates that message. We should feel guilt when we sin, if you are a spiritual person that feeling should come naturally, but we shouldn’t feel guilty going to the Lord in prayer to ask for forgiveness. We all fall short and the Lord has taken our sins willingly because he loves us. The atonement is a gift to us, a wonderful gift that we are commanded to use. The Lord has willingly shed his blood, he allowed himself to be crucified and we shouldn’t feel guilty for that, the atonement has already been done, now it’s up to us to take advantage of that.
Melonie
April 29th, 2009 @ 8:53 am

My you are all up early this morning! I logged on to just see if my post came up at its scheduled time and there were fifteen responses. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!! I have to get some of the children off to school, so I can’t read and ponder what you said yet, but thank you so much for all these amazing suggestions. I did call the Primary President about three weeks ago and asked her to pray for me. It was a good start. Eileen, you are a GEM of a girl. And, not to toot my own horn, but I am a fantastic Sunbeam teacher if you looked at the mechanics of it all, but my heart isn’t in it. I have to make my heart like God’s heart. Workin’ on that.
al
April 29th, 2009 @ 9:13 am

I have many Sundays (and other days of the week) just like this. I have no wisdom to impart, only gratitude for the other comments left.

I will say that I had an awful experience in primary before I had kids. I felt sorry for myself and did not magnify that calling. Now that I have kids of primary (nursery) age, I am soooo grateful that they are in a class with a motivated teacher who loves her calling and truly magnifies it. My son (3 years old) is a sponge and soaks up everything she says. I feel bad for the influence I may have had on the children in my old ward had I seen the calling as more than glorified babysitting.

But I will also say that, even now, I would not be so enthusiastic if I were called to teach his class. The week is hard and I really love going to SS and RS. Sometimes those lessons keep me going through the week.

Great post. It’s really very comforting to log on here and see that other women feel just like me.
Melissa M.
April 29th, 2009 @ 9:29 am

It sounds like you had what my family likes to call a “PG13″ sacrament meeting. Prostitution? Really? One of the problems here is that the RM forgot who his audience was–a congregation that included families with young children who might be scarred for life by his talk. A couple of months ago our bishop asked a young married couple who had recently moved into our ward to speak in sacrament meeting and assigned them the law of chastity as their topic (love those law of chastity sacrament meetings–not). Because the husband had just been released from serving in a singles’ ward, he and his wife approached the talk as if they were addressing singles, and we must have heard the term “sexual intercourse” at least five times, as well as terms like “heavy petting.” The discomfort in the chapel was palpable. My ten-year-old daughter leaned over to me and said, “I’m not sure what they’re talking about, but I don’t want to hear about it,” and then put her hands over her ears for the rest of the talks (thank goodness). My sons, thirteen and seventeen years old, squirmed in their seats and took numerous trips to the drinking fountain. My husband, who is in the bishopric, was blushing on the stand.
And don’t get me started on the “Footprints in the Sand” story. But I’ve learned to try to see the humor in situations like these. I remind myself that the Church is for imperfect people, and that some Sundays you’re just going to hear some strange things. Sometimes the only person who benefits from that sacrament meeting talk is the speaker him/herself. It’s the effort I make to come to worship my Savior and renew my covenants with Him that blesses me, and I try to focus on that.
As for the Sunbeam situation, my heart goes out to you. I was called to be in the nursery when my youngest child was in the nursery and I had a hard time with that calling–I was already feeling overwhelmed and depleted with other things that were going on in my life and I needed a break from my young children, needed some nurturing myself. But did I express my feelings to the bishop? No. I should have, though, because I think sometimes people just need to be clued in to what’s really going on with you. Maybe you should put a bug in the bishop’s ear–pray about it. Whatever happens, I wish you luck!
Trina
April 29th, 2009 @ 9:34 am

Like so many others, I could really relate to your post. Between my children, fighting just to find a place where we can all fit in Sacrament Meeting, and sitting through less-than-inspired lessons, I have left many a 3-hour-block wondering why I didn’t just stay home and read the Ensign (or watch BYU-TV even!).

In Dallin Oaks latest conference talk, he said something that has stuck with me.

“Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.

In contrast, a wise friend wrote:

“Years ago, I changed my attitude about going to church. No longer do I go to church for my sake, but to think of others. I make a point of saying hello to people who sit alone, to welcome visitors, . . . to volunteer for an assignment. . . .

“In short, I go to church each week with the intent of being active, not passive, and making a positive difference in people’s lives. Consequently, my attendance at Church meetings is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling.”

(me speaking again): I don’t include this to lecture, just to say that I think this has helped me have a much better attitude toward my Sunday attendance.

I’m a mother of small boys and when they are excited to go to Primay, and come home telling me something (anything!) they’ve learned, their teacher jumps to the top of my “Favorite People” list. So, though Primary is often a thankless place to serve, know that you have the gratitude of at least one former Primary President and current mother. They may be little, but you can have a profound effect on these Sunbeams and their families.

Thanks again for sharing.
Molly's cousin
April 29th, 2009 @ 9:40 am

I feel for you. My husband and I taught the Sunbeams for 2 years. We were in Nursery before that, and I have also been in Primary presidencies – basically my whole married life has been spent in Primary. Even after I was released from a Primary calling, I was constantly asked to substitute. I’ve probably only been in Relief Society 3 times in the 6 months since I’ve been released. After a while your spiritual well can run dry. I do see the blessings that came from the calling – increased patience, understanding of kids with special needs, getting to know the kids parents better, and having many (MANY!) kids who will always call me “teacher.” Anyway, it is hard, and I try to take comfort in the fact that the Lord knows I’m trying to serve Him, and that I have to be more attentive to filling my own well. Best of luck to you. I’m sure your Sunbeams are lucky to have you!
Tiffany W.
April 29th, 2009 @ 9:59 am

As a member in my primary presidency, bless you for accepting the call to teach the Sunbeams and a thousand blessings upon you and your posterity for coming faithfully, even when you dislike it or discouraged. I can’t even begin to tell you how discouraging it is to walk into the primary room full of 40 kids and pray that at least half the teachers will show up.

As for the RM, why didn’t the bishop tap the young man on the shoulder and whisper in his ear to stop talking about prostitution. At home, I would probably have pulled my older kids aside and had a talk about it. Like it or not, prostitution is real and eventually they’ll know about it anyway.

I hate the Footsteps in the sand in the poem and which drop of blood did Jesus spill for you is just horrible. Horrible.
Erin
April 29th, 2009 @ 10:07 am

Oh, man. I haven’t had time to read the other comments yet, but that sounds like an awful Sunday. Where is the beautiful message of the atonement?

I can’t offer any help with the atrocious topic that the RM selected, but you should definitely tell your Primary President that you don’t want to teach Sunbeams. Have her switch you with another teacher. I think it’s torture to tend your toddler ALLLL week, only to have your 2-hour break ripped away from you. Any decent president will happily place you somewhere that you are *happy* to serve. It’s hard enough to get primary teachers sometimes. They don’t want to drive you bonkers.

My other advice is to make sure to really spend time on your knees asking for what you need to succeed in your current capacities. I just taught last Sunday about gifts of the Spirit. The most often repeated phrase in the scriptures is, “Ask, and ye shall receive.” It really is that simple, we just have to prepare our hearts — that’s the hard part.

Good luck, Momma.
Sue
April 29th, 2009 @ 10:42 am

I don’t like working in Primary. There, I said it. It’s not my thing, and I don’t enjoy it. Would I accept a calling in Primary? Well, let’s just say that I’ve never turned one down. And I do a good job, too. And love the kids. And put a good face on it. But I still don’t like being in Primary. It’s just not my thing.

And that’s okay. This is simply an issue of preference as far as I’m concerned. Hey, here’s an idea. Perhaps those who accept and do their best to magnify a calling that isn’t their “thing” should be applauded! (Rather than feel guilty, I mean.) I know from personal experience that it is quite possible to love the children and not like the calling. ‘Cause I’ve done it.

Having said that, the first weeks are always the hardest. It does get easier, like any task, once you’ve assimilated it. You will even end up having many moments that you enjoy. But (if you’re like me), when you get released you probably won’t be going through any withdrawals.

On the other hand, I love serving in the Young Women organization. Even when I have a difficult class…or am asked to assume the awesome responsibility of being YW president. I don’t like being in charge of things, but I loved being in YW, even when I was president.

I guess what I mean to say is that the whole thing is not so black and white. And as long as you’re willing to do what the Lord asks you to do, and give it your best, it’s okay not to like it so much. *Reframing*…Maybe it’s even laudable that you’re doing it anyway!
Camille B
April 29th, 2009 @ 11:21 am

I can relate to having a bad day at church. I have 4 (and 1/2) kids under the age of 6. Sunday morning is the hardest part of the week for us and then I spend a good deal of time out in the hallway while we are at church.

I also serve in the Primary presidency and I love it. I realize that other ladies might prefer to serve elsewhere, but let me share with you what I love most about serving in Primary.

Primary lays to foundation for our children’s lifetime of participation in Church. It’s my chance to help create an environment where we can all feel the Spirit. (I’ve actually felt the Spirit more in Primary than anywhere else I’ve served.) It’s a place where I can help their testimonies grow. Primary is where most of us decide if we want to go to church or not, and why.

Sure all of the auxillaries are important, but if you don’t have great Primary teachers, in ten years we won’t need YW and YM leaders because the kids will all be inactive. Six more years and we probably won’t need Elders Quorum or RS either.

Plus, we keep the gospel simple in Primary. We focus on the basics and I feel that all of us could use that refreshing course every now and then. Nobody gives talks about prostitution or talks about writing names on drops of blood. We deal with the real meat of the gosple – God’s love for us, our Savior’s Atonement, the importance of families, keeping the commandments, choosing the right. Yes, Primary can be exhausting, but it can also be a great blessing.
Dovie
April 29th, 2009 @ 11:23 am

I think you should ask the primary president for a team teacher. Ask her to really pray about it. Some of the sweetest richest friendships I treasure were sown in difficult callings. Our primary presidency has two deep leadership everywhere whether it be brothers, sisters, or couples serving. Years ago we did team teaching and we alternated going to grown up classes but even though that was nice I think two in the classroom is better for you and the children. Pray to know that you are where you are supposed to be.

I do have a secret… one that is shared with a sister that was the first primary president I served under. I love nursery. I just recently gloated to her about my newly acquired nursery calling. She is an wonderful, sensitive, spiritual, amazing woman and is currently serving in the stake yw’s presidency, but how she would love to be in nursery. I am glad that I am not that amazing.

I love nursery so much I hope they never release me. We have four nurseries in our ward. I get to serve in the youngest one. For me that age is so magical, that 18 months to almost 4 years. I am glad that in our ward that there is no prohibition against serving in nursery when you have nursery aged children. There was a time way before I had teenagers that I wouldn’t have relished it so much.

I remember serving in a second primary presidency when at the end it became very difficult. I started to have some health problems and the spirit as far as my calling seemed to leave me. It was so hard to serve. Not just the health but not having the flow of the spirit readily available in reference to my calling. It became a sheer force of will and I was suffering. I felt like I was cheating the children. This really came to head in the fall. The next April I was released. The bishop called me in and released me.

Later the bishopric counselor over the primary (who had no knowledge of my health concerns) said to me privately, “We really started feeling like this should happen in November. I hope that we didn’t wait too long.” It would have been wonderful to have been released in November, but I think that I learned some things by pushing, sometimes slogging, through. I also think I should have said to my primary president or the bishopric counselor “I am really struggling” or ask for a blessing. Those who preside over you can glimpse into your world and your needs. My husband is not a member of the church so whenever I need priesthood I have a little further to look. So asking for a blessing necessitates outside intervention.

My next calling was being a primary assistant. I accompanied a boy in our ward that had autism to all of his classes. I did this for two years until his family moved. That was where I needed to be. Maybe he needed me in November. Maybe his parents who couldn’t attend any meeting otherwise needed me in November.

You have those feelings for a reason. It may or may not be that you need to be released. Seek for understanding.

The sacrament dilemma is tricky. It might help you to write down your feelings in regard to the the atonement and your understanding of how it operates. You could address it in form of a letter to the speaker even if it might not be a good idea to send it. Perhaps have a Sunday afternoon conversation with you husband and children. Talk to them about how we are all on the path trying to understand, appreciate and apply the atonement in our own lives. Share with them what you have learned not in condemnation of the speaker but to broaden their understanding.

The same could be done about the inappropriate talk. See if you can remember a time when you or they were were not appropriate for the surrounding atmosphere with out realizing it even if the intentions were good, be it in speech, in dress or in behavior. Once I used a less than polite word for someone of another religion to my very polite and proper southern Grandma (not really appropriate to anyone but I just didn’t know any better), another time I found myself sarcastically bemoaning about my trials and travails to a friend who was freshly mourning the death of a dear friend earlier that morning… sometimes we all do it. Talk about why it is especially important that speakers be sensitive in what they say and how they say it in sacrament meeting, as well how can we be more sensitive and appropriate ourselves. How it is important not to judge to harshly those who step over the line because we will all find ourselves there sometimes.

I think at one time or another we have all been there. (I could tel you about how much “fun” (not) I always end up having when I get to teach Relief Society). I hope you find the peace and strength you need.
Carol Brown
April 29th, 2009 @ 11:50 am

I had major knee surgery last year and have the found the 3-hour block excruciating (even on pain pills). I serve in the Primary presidency, and notice how exhausted the children (and adults) are after 3 hours. I wish the Church could go to a 2 to-2 1/2 block by shortening Sacrament Meeting to an hour, cutting 15 minutes from the other 2 blocks, and reducing the time between blocks to 5 minutes. That would save 50 minutes. I think we would enjoy the meetings A LOT more and those with health challenges could attend church with less suffering. Three hour Church marathons are exhausting!
wendy
April 29th, 2009 @ 12:13 pm

Hugs for your Primary angst. 24/7 with your own toddler is hefty, especially those three church hours. I was a primary teacher of a busy group while I worked 5 days/week as a counselor for kids, and did crisis calls on weekends. It was overwhelming. At least I didn’t cry every week like I did the fist time I taught primary.
heathermommy
April 29th, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

Melonie,

I think you should go to the primary president and say that you would love to stay teaching in primary but that teaching your own child just isn’t working. Maybe they can switch you with another teacher. I have heard and I love this quote “90% of inspiration is information” Our leaders need the info we can give them so they can be inspired to make the right calls.

I would not feel guilty one bit telling the primary presidency of your concerns.

I would have been totally furious with that RM. People need to remmebr that sacrament meeting is attended by all ages. Therefore only “G” rated stories please!!
Lisa
April 29th, 2009 @ 12:27 pm

I served in the primary while my children were young – teacher, president, den mother. There were challenges – it’s hard to forget to be the parent and just be the teacher when your child is a royal pain. But now that my children are older how I cherish those moments. Primary is hard – but what calling doesn’t have it’s challenges. Pray, pray, pray – and I agree, tell leadership of your concerns. Serving as a president, I wanted to know if a certain calling is just too stressful.

My husband, who was recently released from the bishopric, campaigned relentlessly to be put in the nursery. I was skeptical of how long he would last if they put him in. He loves it! I don’t believe he would have ever received this calling if he hadn’t been so blatant about his desires to serve.

As for seat saving – IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!
Jennie
April 29th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

Well, I get in a giant fight with my husband every Sunday right before church, so who am I to judge? Besides, you go. You get an A just for showing up, as far as I’m concerned.

P.S. “His Hands”! Oh boy, do I hate that song!
Justine
April 29th, 2009 @ 12:50 pm

Sometimes I look around our Chapel and make sure I consciously remind myself that we are all here – we all got up, showered, made some sort of sacrifice to be here. And even through we’re all in different places in the gospel, and we all need different lessons taught in different ways, we are all gathered together to worship God.

It makes it easier for me to get through tough Sundays. Almost without exception, we’re all trying to do the best we can with the resources we’ve got.

Hang in there, and know that you’re not alone. Love you!
Melissa
April 29th, 2009 @ 1:17 pm

The times I struggle the most are when I feel that going to church is actually harming my children spiritually. I can tolerate bad Sundays for myself becuase of so many of the things already mentioned in other comments. But it bothers me when going to church consistently has an ill effect on my children. Many times I have heard incorrect doctrine taught when I’m there substituting; it makes me wonder how much is taught that I don’t hear. If I don’t hear it, it’s difficult to correct.

Behavior in our Primary is also atrocious, perhaps because the leaders are afraid to be tough (they feel they have to be nice because it’s church) and the kids take advantage of that.

I am really struggling right now, even though I can see that the Primary leaders in our ward are good people and are trying their best. But the bottom line is, I wish I didn’t have to send my kids because it really is doing more harm than good. They come out hyper, sugar-filled (mutiple packages of candy every week!), and disrespectful.

Bess you, Melonie, for your efforts. I’m sure the parents of the kids in your class appreciate your abilities more than you realize.
jendoop
April 29th, 2009 @ 1:54 pm

Melissa, I think speaking up goes for parents too. If you feel your children aren’t being taught the gospel then you should tactfully talk to a member of the primary presidency that you feel would be receptive or to the member of the bishopric over primary. But be prepared for a primary calling if you really mean it! Candy should not be handed out every week either. I would have no problems sharing my feelings about that one.

We’re all sinners working together to get to heaven. Let’s love each other like brothers and sisters, its not easy but it can make things bearable. Pray to have that Christlike love and it can soften bad Sundays.
Ashlee
April 29th, 2009 @ 3:29 pm

ha. I loved this. It’s so refreshing to read my thoughts written so beautifully and sent into the blogoshpere!
Many a Sunday has felt that way to me…
Kay
April 29th, 2009 @ 3:50 pm

Thank you for everything you do in primary. I spent 15 straight years in primary, mostly in presidencies and understand all of your feelings. We want the best people to serve our little ones. We also want them to be happy doing it. People turn down primary all of the time and we were always so grateful for those that accepted their call and worked hard at it. Tell your president, I’m sure she would bend over backwards to help make things more manageable for you. Sometimes though, we are were we are for a reason. I once served as compassionate service leader, and I wanted to jump off the planet as I loathed every second of it.

I have 2 children in primary now and adore their teachers. I try to remember to thank them often and let them know how wonderful I think they are. Too often we don’t thank those who serve us or tell them how much they mean to us. You are probably loved beyond measure for your service.

Seat saving doesn’t really happen in our ward much luckily. As for the talks, I just think that I am happy they are speaking and not me!
Giggles
April 29th, 2009 @ 3:56 pm

I’m with Jendoop, that analogy for the atonement has absolutely no basis in doctrine. It really shouldn’t be used, and especially by a high council speaker.

Miggy, I’d have to disagree with your professor and agree more with Elder Oaks who said at the October 2008 General Conference that the sacrament and the sacrament meeting are the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. That doesn’t mean that every sacrament meeting will be the spiritual high point of our life, but it’s definitely not just for new converts. And it is also definitely a challenge some days.

My father told me that he holds of judging how well a missionary did on his mission until he hears his homecoming speech. He told me that just before I gave mine. Those that come home and talk about cockroaches the size of dinner plates or other such things he feels fall into one category of missionary. Those that come home and talk about the Gospel and how it changed their own life and the lives of those they taught, they had a different mission than the first ones. It is interesting to see what they talk about when they come home.

Once when I was released from a calling that I’d really struggled with to the point of tears every week, the bishop told me that they knew when they called me to it that I would hate the calling, but that they also knew I needed to have that calling because there was something I needed to learn. Oddly, that was actually comforting.
Janet
April 29th, 2009 @ 3:58 pm

I have never liked the “Footprints in the Sand” poem. I think sometimes He does leave us alone and we have to figure things out and come to Him.
Roxann
April 29th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

This Sunday, while I’m sitting in Sacrament dealing with my two year old granddaughter, I will be smiling, saying a little prayer of gratitude.
“I am not alone!”
mormonhermitmom
April 29th, 2009 @ 4:59 pm

The ward put me in Nursery just as my last child was reaching that age. I’m still there with him. A few months ago they called an assistant for me – who does daycare during the week and her daughter who had a kid in there as well and a new baby.

If they try to make me the Sunbeam teacher when my youngest goes in, they are going to get my second “no” to a calling.
Claudia
April 29th, 2009 @ 5:17 pm

Lots of good advice and interesting comments here. Sacrament meeting is to take the sacrament. That is why it is called sacrament meeting. The talks are nice, but they are not the reason or the main focus of the meeting.

Each person has the right to pray about and receive their own personal inspiration when it comes to accepting callings. That is not to say the callings are not inspired. I have learned through sad experience that teaching 5 year olds is not for me. I think if I were asked to do this again I would look the person straight in the eye and ask, “Has anyone prayed about this? Are you aware of the following conditions in my life that make me less than the ideal person to be in a room with 5 year olds?”

The question about drops of blood with our names on them is just silly. I’m with your 11 year old. It was useful though because doing the math shows he was listening.
Melonie
April 29th, 2009 @ 6:49 pm

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate these comments. Your responses were not what I as expecting. I thought I would be raked over the coals, but decided to post it anyway. You have showed me an outpouring of love and comfort and kind advice. I am bowled over. I will take each of these comments to heart and I will be on my knees more in regards to my calling. I do know that I go to sacrament meeting for the sacrament. I need to remember that always so that other things do not get in the way of the Spirit. Thank you, thank you! You definitely are exemplary daughters of God. (I think that there was a man who commented too. Thank you, too.)
Leslie
April 29th, 2009 @ 7:22 pm

I often wince at times – I am all for straight talk but I think we have to be age/developmentally sensitive with our straight talk! please for the sake of sunday dinner conversations! no PG!

I believe in steering far from sensational imagery

as for the little guys- they can be tough- but as a mother of a sunbeam I am grateful every week for the things my little boy learns and all her efforts- he doesn’t love going to church but always leaves sunbeams happy!
Mrs. Organic
April 30th, 2009 @ 12:21 am

The Footprints story is almost as good as when people say well-intentioned, but insensitive comments to parents of children with disabilities, for example, “God must really love you/think you’re special to give you this challenge.”

Seriously, what? I think he loves ALL of us and I don’t believe God doles out challenges like that, it’s just a part of the human experience. We all have trials, some are just more visible than others.

I’m proud of you for sticking it out and showing up.
Christa
April 30th, 2009 @ 12:52 am

I don’t have anything inspiring to say to help (super helpful I know) but the title of this post pulled me in so much I couldn’t not read it. This was the best thing I’ve read in a long time- I love it when people keep it real.
I called my friend up and read her every word she said, “Who is this girl? I want to know, I want to go to her house and just hang out with her, I love her for saying all this.”
When all is said in done- you’re still going to church and there’s no better example for your children (as they get older) that their mother attended church no matter what.
Eileen
April 30th, 2009 @ 1:12 am

If any of you happen to be in my ward and my husband is the one extending a primary calling to you, please be kind. Yikes! Sometimes he comes home from talking to someone about a calling and looks like he’s aged several years. Once he stomped upstairs ranting to himself like a crazy person. “If I hear ‘was it inspiration or desperation’ one more time I’m going to SCREAM!….Did we need someone in this calling? Yes. Did we think you’d be good at it? Yes. Did a bolt of lightening hit me? NO!….” I should probably let him sit in the car by himself after church. Better yet, we’ll both sit in the car and let the kids get dinner ready themselves.

We’re all doing our best to lift where we stand–the primary president praying to find the very best person for each class and the bishopric supporting the primary president while also praying for inspiration. Personally I’ve had teachers called who I felt sure would be ideal for their calling and weren’t and vice versa. Sometimes the bishopric has recommended someone who I reluctantly went along with and happily learned that they’re fantastic.

There are callings I haven’t loved, but darn it, I’ve learned something from each and every one. That severe learning disability I have for all things scouting would still be undiagnosed if I’d never been cub master. The brown shirt was a small price to pay for that little gem of self-knowledge.

Stick with sunbeams, Melonie. You don’t have to convince me that you’re awesome at it; I know you are. You’ll make a difference to those kids and be enriched in the process. Would you have been able to write this wonderful post if it wasn’t for those darling 3 and 4 year olds? O.K., I guess the return missionary and high council speaker helped too, but you get my drift. You’ve grown already.
Eileen
April 30th, 2009 @ 1:12 am

If any of you happen to be in my ward and my husband is the one extending a primary calling to you, please be kind. Yikes! Sometimes he comes home from talking to someone about a calling and looks like he’s aged several years. Once he stomped upstairs ranting to himself like a crazy person. “If I hear ‘was it inspiration or desperation’ one more time I’m going to SCREAM!….Did we need someone in this calling? Yes. Did we think you’d be good at it? Yes. Did a bolt of lightening hit me? NO!….” I should probably let him sit in the car by himself after church. Better yet, we’ll both sit in the car and let the kids get dinner ready themselves.

We’re all doing our best to lift where we stand–the primary president praying to find the very best person for each class and the bishopric supporting the primary president while also praying for inspiration. Personally I’ve had teachers called who I felt sure would be ideal for their calling and weren’t and vice versa. Sometimes the bishopric has recommended someone who I reluctantly went along with and happily learned that they’re fantastic.

There are callings I haven’t loved, but darn it, I’ve learned something from each and every one. That severe learning disability I have for all things scouting would still be undiagnosed if I’d never been cub master. The brown shirt was a small price to pay for that little gem of self-knowledge.

Stick with sunbeams, Melonie. You don’t have to convince me that you’re awesome at it; I know you are. You’ll make a difference to those kids and be enriched in the process. Would you have been able to write this wonderful post if it wasn’t for those darling 3 and 4 year olds? O.K., I guess the return missionary and high council speaker helped too, but you get my drift. You’ve grown already.
Angie
April 30th, 2009 @ 2:08 pm

I don’t like to invite people to church with me because I am embarrassed by the quality of our sacrament meetings. There. I said it.

P.S. I heart sunbeam teachers.
Paula
April 30th, 2009 @ 2:29 pm

What’s TPTB?

I’m a fellow reluctant Sunbeams teacher. Yup, I spend more time on Sundays taking kids to go potty than I do feeling the spirit. Three cheers for us! Seriously.

Hip Hip Hooray!

Puttin’ in my time. . . pining away for Relief Society. Loved the Enrichment Centerpiece Creator calling–sounds as coveted as the calling I tend to covet: Hymn Book Coordinator.
jenny
April 30th, 2009 @ 7:25 pm

TPTB= “the powers that be” ???
(was wondering the same thing. sometimes it takes me awhile. and sometimes I’m still wrong…)
Melonie
April 30th, 2009 @ 10:06 pm

THE POWERS THAT BE is right. We should make up another name though…Tall Primary Teacher Bosses.

Christa, you and your friend can come hang out with me anytime. I need friends. I had no idea anybody else felt like I did.

Eileen, I can just see your husband stomping up the stairs. LOVE IT!
Emily M.
April 30th, 2009 @ 10:25 pm

Mel, I remember the most frustrating Sacrament meeting ever, several years ago when we lived in a different ward. Random youth talks, even more random leader talks, none of which brought the Spirit, some of which drove it away. I was there with my MIL, and it took a lot out of her to be able to attend meetings. She was soooo frustrated when she would get up the energy to go to Sacrament Meeting and it turned out like that. She didn’t want to be too grumpy about it, but there are people who can only make it to church once a month or so, and it’s so disappointing to them to go without spiritual food when they come.

And I just got released from nursery. I loved my coworkers, I loved the kids, I didn’t even mind being with my own child, but I felt so isolated from the rest of the ward. And drained after wrestling with kids in Sacrament Meeting. I wish that I had gotten to the point where I absolutely loved it before I was released, but that point did not come. I got pretty good at it, but I never just fell in love with it. So huzzah for the eleven year old girls! I get to teach a real lesson with real doctrine. It’s fantastic.

Sunbeam teachers are my heroes. Seriously, and not to sound trite I hope, but I believe that the Lord sees those who work with small children (Scoutmasters are there too) and is very, very grateful for and mindful of your service.
Ron
May 1st, 2009 @ 12:21 am

I also have an aversion to hearing about “drops of blood” as payment for my sins. The “penal substitution” model, ie, for every sin there must be an equal punishment, was a theory created in the 11th century by Saint Anselm and adopted by many protestant faiths. It did not exist in primitive christianity. Our faith adopted it and it is nonsense. God does NOT demand or insist so much blood for so much sin, neither does some cosmic, ethereal law, but rather WE demand the blood. We stone the adulterer not God. Christ came to expose that myth and end it. Check out the history of the different models of the atonement and you will find that we unwittingly adopted a myth and read it into our scriptures. If penal substitution were taught by example in primary the nonsense would be exposed as Amulek attempted to do in Alma 34. The lesson would go like this:

Tom, Bill and Kristen you are naughty and break the rules of the class. Henry never does and I find no fault in him. So you will be encouraged to be good, each time you break the rules I am going to slap, kick and humiliate Henry. And the great news is we are going to anticipate future rule breaking and pre-beat him—by our best prescient calculation. And children, am I not a just teacher/god?

Nonsense and myth…
Matt
May 1st, 2009 @ 8:39 am

Ron,

I wouldn’t get too uptight about it. I think the concept is used more as a metaphor than as a principle. We all realize that the mathematics of an infinite atonement prevents us from assigning a number of drops per person. But it is a reminder that our sins contributed a burden to Christ’s suffering. Personally, I always thought that references to “how many drops” were not appropriate, but after President Faust used it in General Conference, I decided I might have more to learn.
Ron
May 1st, 2009 @ 9:20 am

matt,
what do you know about Girard’s writings/anthropological model? After reading several of his books it was like coming out of the mists of darkness/fog that we have created in an attempt to explain the atonement. It is just that penal substitution or ransom theories have consequences in our world views.
rebecca
May 1st, 2009 @ 9:53 am

I will never foreget the day a guy got up and told a story about how his daughter found out that there was no Santa!! You could see the little faces all over the chapel pop up and their eyes widen….. thanks dude!

I spent the first 10 years in primary. I am sorry that you feel frustrated. There is nothing quite like dreading a Sunday. I am thankful for the people who teach in primary/nursery because they have had a great impact on my kiddos–even though it seems like most of the time it is baby wrangling….
Tay
May 1st, 2009 @ 9:54 am

Primary is hard. Those kids are intimidating, not only because they look up to you for their learning, but because at any moment they are going to start talking or running around in circles, or climbing over or under chairs or hitting each other… whew! I would talk to the Primary presidency. Theyre busy, yes, but they want you to enjoy your calling.

And just think of all the funny things kids say. Have them tell stories that relate to the lesson. My mom would always come home laughing from all the things they said.

And I think Sunbeams are a lot like teenagers. You either love them or they annoy you to death. Good luck! You can do it!
mo' on the downlow
May 1st, 2009 @ 10:35 am

I am on the down low here. serious blasphemy here!! I feel for your situation, I am currently in the Prim Pres in my ward( i will go crazy contest with anyone at anytime), and I am well over my 1.5 kids/family and our kids out number the rest of the primary by at least 3:1 some case 6:1 And while I am currently the only mother serving in Primary with small primary aged children(apparently I love kids so much I had a ton of my own, and am happy to wrestle with the est of the wards on once a week!) ,and yes I find it less than appealing to come to church deal with my crazy bunch, and then listen as others shock & awe us with their bombs of joy. only to stand blocking the doorway how thankful they are that they are getting their 2 hour break. and in the previous months have turned down a primary calling and in the mean time we are short no less than 5 teachers, my favorite reasons… they have children in primary or They were in the YW or RS presidency and they can’t go back to Primary.

so yea!! for you accepting!!!! & doing your calling!! I think sometimes we forget that 1)we don’t apply for these calling on our 2)skills or 3)our availability. My favorite quote who I can’t remember who says it” the Lord doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies those he calls” or something like that!!!

When I change my attitude about serving in the Lord in calling I am not crazy about, and do the best that I can in the situation, I always come out the winner!! that is personal experience!

I’m going back to my (less bitter)real life now!
jendoop
May 2nd, 2009 @ 6:05 am

Just to encourage anyone who is feeling overburdened to speak up-
My DH and I are in a branch, he was serving as a counselor in the branch presidency and I was a counselor in primary where we had no other counselor, no chorister, no secretary, lack of teachers, etc. We have four children, at that time the youngest was 6 months old. During this time I developed health issues that made it difficult for me to physically hold our daughter for long periods of time, so sacrament meeting became torture as my husband sat on the stand and I painfully endured. Then I would go to primary where I took care of kids more and wrangled the baby because DH had things to do. Did I mention I’m a stay at home mom and we’re in a Spanish branch and I speak no Spanish so my socializing is limited? Children 24/7.

In the midst of all this I had a temple recommend interview. My husband happened to work late on that night and it was the youth activity so I had to bring all the kids to the church with me and the then 18 month old scrambled around the office closing her fingers in drawers and pulling papers off the table during my interview. When the stake counselor asked a question about being spiritually renewed every Sunday I told him in a very matter of fact way, “Going to church right now is a matter of faith, I don’t get much out of it.”

Two weeks later with no notice for me and only 5 minutes notice for my husband he was released from his demanding calling. Leaders do care and don’t always notice the burdens you are carrying.
kate
May 4th, 2009 @ 12:26 pm

I didn’t read all of the comments, so I may be repeating others. Have you let the bishopric and/or primary president know that this calling really isn’t working for you? I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, if it makes you crazy and dread Sundays, etc. There is enough to dread about Sundays with little kids without hating your calling too. Six months ago, my husband and I both had extremely demanding callings, it was killing me, and I let the Bishop know. Kindly. But firmly. I also told him I’d love to work in the nursery (I had a child in the nursery at the time)–he said no way. I felt strongly about it. He interviewed me two times, and finally said, the spirit confirms that you should be in the nursery. Most people thought I was crazy–I stay at home, I hate babysitting other people’s kids, etc. For whatever reason, I loved nursery. I think its a blast. Maybe because its about 3 hours a week, including Sundays, and not many more than that. I have a new calling now, more demanding, but I had a breather and feel fine about it now. Talk to TPTB!