Comments on: Trying to become a woman who knows http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/ Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured Thu, 24 May 2012 11:55:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: QueenScarlett http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-166643 QueenScarlett Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:43:22 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-166643 I hate dusting and ironing! ;-) I do get stressed when the house is a wreck... my office is full of things that should've been filed weeks ago. I used to have a breakdown every few months due to the messes...but now I realize... a family lives here. There will be time enough, lonely times when it will be spotless... but I don't want that time to come too soon. I hate dusting and ironing! ;-)

I do get stressed when the house is a wreck… my office is full of things that should’ve been filed weeks ago.

I used to have a breakdown every few months due to the messes…but now I realize… a family lives here. There will be time enough, lonely times when it will be spotless… but I don’t want that time to come too soon.

]]> By: dalene http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-166485 dalene Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:38:12 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-166485 Hugs from me, too, Kay. I wish I knew where you lived because I am much better about cleaning someone else's house than I am my own (I don't have to watch it get dirty again in five minutes like it does at my house). I'd be right over with a dishcloth and even a dustrag. Tiffany W.--teaching the kids to help requires so much more effort than just doing it one's self. Keep at it though. I try not to live my life with regrets, but my kids are older now and I so wish I would have been better at that part of the equation. Getting teenagers to help is so much more difficult! Hugs from me, too, Kay. I wish I knew where you lived because I am much better about cleaning someone else’s house than I am my own (I don’t have to watch it get dirty again in five minutes like it does at my house). I’d be right over with a dishcloth and even a dustrag.

Tiffany W.–teaching the kids to help requires so much more effort than just doing it one’s self. Keep at it though. I try not to live my life with regrets, but my kids are older now and I so wish I would have been better at that part of the equation. Getting teenagers to help is so much more difficult!

]]> By: Tiffany W. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-166483 Tiffany W. Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:02:35 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-166483 It's important to me that my house be clean and tidy. It's very frustrating when it is not. But I also have times when I can let it go and only work on the essentials: loading the dishwasher, wiping counters, keeping bathrooms clean. I know that I am making a difference for my family. The children play more with their toys when things are organized and rooms are clean. We fight less when dishes aren't piled up on the counters. We enjoy sitting together as a family in the living room when toys aren't scattered all over and it is vacuumed. I've learned how to pace myself so I clean a bit everyday. That helps tremendously. My real weakness is teaching my children how to help. It’s important to me that my house be clean and tidy. It’s very frustrating when it is not. But I also have times when I can let it go and only work on the essentials: loading the dishwasher, wiping counters, keeping bathrooms clean.

I know that I am making a difference for my family. The children play more with their toys when things are organized and rooms are clean. We fight less when dishes aren’t piled up on the counters. We enjoy sitting together as a family in the living room when toys aren’t scattered all over and it is vacuumed.

I’ve learned how to pace myself so I clean a bit everyday. That helps tremendously.

My real weakness is teaching my children how to help.

]]> By: Kay http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165872 Kay Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:48:42 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165872 Thanks for the hugs Melissa, they are much needed right now. Thanks for the hugs Melissa, they are much needed right now.

]]> By: m&m http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165862 m&m Wed, 02 Dec 2009 08:15:50 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165862 I actually function pretty well around clutter, but my hubby doesn't. He has a gift for being able to eliminate it; I don't. (In fact, maybe my ability to deal with clutter is tied to my inability to take care of it -- I have adjusted? Also, trying to tackle it sorta shuts me down; kinda weird, perhaps, but real.) We finally figured out that since he has the strength and the need, he would take more responsibility in our partnership for that. I do most of the rest of the household stuff from bills to cooking to laundry to food storage and everything in between. But he is now taking care of the clutter and it has helped us all. I feel more free to focus on what I'm good at in the home, and he's less frustrated and more at peace because the house is cleaner. Now I'm just working on not feeling guilty for that weakness while I watch him work his magic. ;) I actually function pretty well around clutter, but my hubby doesn’t. He has a gift for being able to eliminate it; I don’t. (In fact, maybe my ability to deal with clutter is tied to my inability to take care of it — I have adjusted? Also, trying to tackle it sorta shuts me down; kinda weird, perhaps, but real.)

We finally figured out that since he has the strength and the need, he would take more responsibility in our partnership for that. I do most of the rest of the household stuff from bills to cooking to laundry to food storage and everything in between. But he is now taking care of the clutter and it has helped us all. I feel more free to focus on what I’m good at in the home, and he’s less frustrated and more at peace because the house is cleaner.

Now I’m just working on not feeling guilty for that weakness while I watch him work his magic. ;)

]]> By: Melissa M. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165848 Melissa M. Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:40:37 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165848 Kay, I feel the same way as you do about needing things to be clean and tidy---I actually start to feel depressed if there's clutter. And it's so hard to be down in bed and know that everything is in chaos downstairs. I'm sorry that you've been ill and I do hope you feel better soon. Sending hugs your way. Kay, I feel the same way as you do about needing things to be clean and tidy—I actually start to feel depressed if there’s clutter. And it’s so hard to be down in bed and know that everything is in chaos downstairs. I’m sorry that you’ve been ill and I do hope you feel better soon. Sending hugs your way.

]]> By: suedonym http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165785 suedonym Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:21:55 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165785 I become a giant grizzly bear if my home is not clean. Not fun for anyone to be around. I spend a lot of time picking up my home. It makes me happy to walk in and see a clean counter, and things put away. It is however a never-ending process, so I never feel "done". Do I do this selfishly for me, or for my family? I honestly don't know. As far as dusting, and toilets... I don't do them at home. I have set aside money my entire marriage and I hire a house keeper 1 or 2 times a month to do those things. I'd rather cut back in other areas than have to do it. But I really don't mind doing those things for others, which I have done for my kids, new mom's, etc. Weird. I become a giant grizzly bear if my home is not clean. Not fun for anyone to be around. I spend a lot of time picking up my home. It makes me happy to walk in and see a clean counter, and things put away.
It is however a never-ending process, so I never feel “done”.
Do I do this selfishly for me, or for my family? I honestly don’t know.

As far as dusting, and toilets… I don’t do them at home. I have set aside money my entire marriage and I hire a house keeper 1 or 2 times a month to do those things. I’d rather cut back in other areas than have to do it. But I really don’t mind doing those things for others, which I have done for my kids, new mom’s, etc. Weird.

]]> By: Kay http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165739 Kay Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:12:27 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165739 A clean, tidy home is important to me. I don't love doing it, but I do it anyway. I do love cooking though, it is my therapy and gives peace. Recently I have been very ill. The basics only were done for 2 months while I struggled with health issues. For the past 10 days my husband has taken over while I have been in hospital and recovering at home in bed. Today I came downstairs and cried. He really has tried hard, he's done the laundry, the cleaning, the food, taken care of 3 children and their schedules, looked after me, carried on with a full time job and his calling as Bishop. I still cried because I cannot live with a mess. I need tidy to keep me calm, mess jangles me up. Now I am going back to bed where I cannot see the mess. I am grateful for all he has done, truly, but I did not realize just how much I need it to clean and tidy even when I cannot see it. A clean, tidy home is important to me. I don’t love doing it, but I do it anyway. I do love cooking though, it is my therapy and gives peace. Recently I have been very ill. The basics only were done for 2 months while I struggled with health issues. For the past 10 days my husband has taken over while I have been in hospital and recovering at home in bed. Today I came downstairs and cried. He really has tried hard, he’s done the laundry, the cleaning, the food, taken care of 3 children and their schedules, looked after me, carried on with a full time job and his calling as Bishop. I still cried because I cannot live with a mess. I need tidy to keep me calm, mess jangles me up. Now I am going back to bed where I cannot see the mess. I am grateful for all he has done, truly, but I did not realize just how much I need it to clean and tidy even when I cannot see it.

]]> By: Sue http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165702 Sue Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:59:23 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165702 I loved Kathryn's reminder that the quote is "An IMMACULATE house is a sign of a wasted life." For me, the word in caps pretty much says it all. When you spend enough time that your house is "immaculate," you may be overdoing things a bit. (Have you ever visited those people who sort of follow you around cleaning up after you instead of sitting down and really spending some quality time with you?) Enough said. My rule of thumb has always been "straightened up" and hygienic. I do think that's important. But I sure don't beat myself up about a little bit of clutter. Life is too short! =) I loved Kathryn’s reminder that the quote is “An IMMACULATE house is a sign of a wasted life.” For me, the word in caps pretty much says it all. When you spend enough time that your house is “immaculate,” you may be overdoing things a bit. (Have you ever visited those people who sort of follow you around cleaning up after you instead of sitting down and really spending some quality time with you?) Enough said.

My rule of thumb has always been “straightened up” and hygienic. I do think that’s important. But I sure don’t beat myself up about a little bit of clutter. Life is too short!

=)

]]> By: Charise http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/trying-to-become-a-woman-who-knows/#comment-165699 Charise Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:20:02 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=5077#comment-165699 The household that I was raised in had the unspoken mantra that the kids were for the house rather than the house was for the kids. We knew that order and cleanliness were absolutely paramount, and we were required to keep the house spotless above all else. We lived in constant fear of getting in trouble for messing up the house. Now that I am a mother to five, I still insist on a relatively clean house and delegate a lot of chores to my kids, but there is no question that the house is for the kids. Keeping a clean house should be for the benefit of everyone: to maintain a peaceful and orderly atmosphere and to facilitate a full family life. Cleaning keeps the chaos under control, teaches the kids to respect their home and themselves, and teaches responsibility. If I am organized I can get dinner on the table more quickly, spend more time with the kids, and relax more in peaceful surroundings. What I don't ever want is the kids afraid to have fun, play, invite their friends over, etc., because they are afraid of messing up the house and getting in trouble. Everything can always be cleaned up when the fun is over, and the more organized the house was to begin with, the quicker and easier the clean-up is. I guess my point is, I think a clean, well-organized house is important, but that it shouldn't overshadow what is really important; the family that we are trying to provide an orderly home for! The household that I was raised in had the unspoken mantra that the kids were for the house rather than the house was for the kids. We knew that order and cleanliness were absolutely paramount, and we were required to keep the house spotless above all else. We lived in constant fear of getting in trouble for messing up the house. Now that I am a mother to five, I still insist on a relatively clean house and delegate a lot of chores to my kids, but there is no question that the house is for the kids. Keeping a clean house should be for the benefit of everyone: to maintain a peaceful and orderly atmosphere and to facilitate a full family life. Cleaning keeps the chaos under control, teaches the kids to respect their home and themselves, and teaches responsibility. If I am organized I can get dinner on the table more quickly, spend more time with the kids, and relax more in peaceful surroundings. What I don’t ever want is the kids afraid to have fun, play, invite their friends over, etc., because they are afraid of messing up the house and getting in trouble. Everything can always be cleaned up when the fun is over, and the more organized the house was to begin with, the quicker and easier the clean-up is. I guess my point is, I think a clean, well-organized house is important, but that it shouldn’t overshadow what is really important; the family that we are trying to provide an orderly home for!

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