Comments on: What the Little Old Lady Said

By: Melissa M.

Melissa M. — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:12:36 +0000

My oldest is now 20 and a junior at BYU; I have a son who is a senior in high school and who will be leaving on a mission next winter; I have another son who is 14 and will be starting high school next fall; and my “baby” just got her first bra and will be graduating from primary this year. And, like Sharlee said, it’s starting to go so fast it makes my head spin. I feel like I should be constantly singing “Sunrise, Sunset,” because that’s how I’ve been feeling—nostalgic, sad, unable to believe my children are growing up so quickly. You never realize how fast it goes by until it’s over. Savor those little moments of young motherhood—I know you’ve all heard it again and again, but I wish I’d savored them more.

Great post, Jennie!

By: Arianne

Arianne — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:47:13 +0000

You’re right. This really is the hardest time ever–being a mom of very small children. It is one grueling, monotonous, thankless day after the next. And I often feel like I am not savoring these days like I should be. But I’ve tried to make a point lately to at least once a day spend some time doing something totally boring(for me) and wonderful (for them) with my kids. So often I have to say “not now, I’m busy” because I’m on the phone trying to deal with an incorrect bill, or I’m empyting the trash so I can get it in the can before the trash man comes, or I’m making dinner. I can’t always stop what I’m doing to play with the kids because I run a whole household on top of raising the kids. But I try, really hard, at least once a day when they say, “Mommy, come look at this” to just stop what I’m doing, get up, and go look. And then play with them for a while.

I just hope that will be enough for them to feel loved and cherished and for me to feel like I was a good mom and took time for them. ‘Cause I don’t really know how to do more than that and keep my sanity.

By: m&m

m&m — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:09:58 +0000

The thing that hurts about this post is that I think you often can’t learn the lesson except by experience. But by then, the littleness is already going or gone.

But maybe that is why God gives us grandchildren.

Love your post, Jennie. Love it.

By: jks

jks — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:26:24 +0000

I love reading everyone’s comments. So many people have said so many wise things. I especially think Sue #20 is a very wise mother. Thank you.
Some of your comments got me nostalgic for the time before #4 when I used to take the kids for walks in the woods and other fun outings.
With my kids being 12-almost 2, I’m in so many stages right now, and have been in so many stages, that a part of my identifies with practically everyone who has commented (and even the OP despite my disagreeing in my earlier comment),
It is a hard balance to enjoy any stage since all have its difficulties. Sometimes we are affected by other things in our life. Is our marriage good or stressed? Is our health good? Do we have financial worries? Is our husband supportive? These other things can make a stage of motherhood harder or easier.
Motherhood is a challenging adventure. I just admire all women who are attempting it.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:48:01 +0000

I have little bitty ones right now. I love them and adore spending time with them, but I’m also looking forward to the years when we can go on outings that are more involved than toddler storytime at the library. I hope I enjoy being with my kids even more as they get older.

I visit taught a wonderful grandmotherly woman in her 70s who had raised 14 children. I was in awe of her. She talked constantly about the blessings of motherhood. I started to notice that she only ever talked about how wonderful it was to be pregnant, give birth, and nurse a baby. She never said a word about spending time with her older children. I’m sure she did, but all her memories and nostalgia were about her children’s babyhood. While I admire her, I don’t want to think that my favorite stage of motherhood was pregnancy and babies. After all, my children won’t remember those toddler years. I want to cherish the tween years, and teen years and adult years too.

By: Harlene

Harlene — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:28:20 +0000

I remember when my youngest turned 4 and my oldest was 12 realizing this was the simplest and best part of the journey. we spent our days exploring the mountains and the beach, everyone could participate and I could lounge by the pool. No one could drive, date, and thankfully no one has had serious illnesses. I am soo glad that I relished inthat time, because now I have 4 teenagers!

Exhausted doesn’t begin to describe how hard it is to stay optimistic and hopeful during these years, and mine aren’t into serious trouble, that I’m aware of.

I loved having those babies, but I am really loving becoming the supporting cast instead of the lead!

hang in there ladies, and love them fiercely! Even those days when you have to fake it!

By: jeans

jeans — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:43:27 +0000

We were in the pizza parlor tonight and a lady was there by herself with two kids under 4 and a new baby in a carseat. The baby was screaming, I mean screaming, as the family was finishing dinner and putting on coats. As she walked by our booth she said “sorry” to us. I just looked at her with what I hope was an understanding, compassionate smile as I’m sitting there with my 4 perfectly calm, non-screaming, non-toddler children, and I said to her, “Hey. We’ve all been there.” I should have added, “You’ll be in my place soon enough. Sistah power” and done the secret knuckle-bump. Hey, young mom – wherever you are: knuckle-bump. You deserved that night out.

By: Carina

Carina — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:06:09 +0000

This post made me cry. So. Good on you, Jennie.

By: Kathryn Soper

Kathryn Soper — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:02:58 +0000

I gave my eldest her first driving lesson yesterday. She asked, “Is this weird for you?”

Uh, YES! Never thought that day would really come, but it did.

When I had a pack of little kids I usually wanted to strangle the sweet older ladies who told me how lucky I was. And every day seemed to last forever. I used to actually be kinda glad when one of my kids was sick and needed a trip to the doctor and then to the pharmacy because it ate up a few hours and gave us something structured to do.

Of course, blogging didn’t exist back then…

By: mom o' boys

mom o' boys — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:38:03 +0000

Thank you for the post. I loved reading all the comments. Thanks to all who shared their experiences. I just wanted to add my two bits about enjoying older kids too. I feel like much of the advice to mothers about enjoying the moments and the days is given to young mothers (who are particularly vulnerable to discouragement because of the constant needs of little ones). Anyway, my oldest son is 12, and I feel rather sad about him growing up, and I’ve been trying to take time to just be with him (play a card game while the younger ones are in bed and his other brother is at basketball practice or tell a joke or give him a massage). I think spending a little time each day with each child doing something, even if it’s as simple as walking to the mailbox with one of them, helps me feel much more connected to them and happier as a mother. Other comments have already alluded to this, but I think it’s so important to be kind to ourselves if we get bored, tired, resentful, or burned out as moms. Sometimes, it’s so easy to have the guilt set in when we’re not enjoying and loving every stage.