President Uchtdorf just delivered my all-time favorite Relief Society General Meeting talk, ever. It spoke to me so directly; I cried through nearly the entire thing, and had to blow my nose loudly at the end (it was okay; I sat by my sister and she blew her nose loudly too, in solidarity). It was a perfect talk on so many levels; I felt President Uchtdorf’s warmth and respect for women, and I also felt like I was given a greater vision of who I could become. The talk validated my writing and my family, the two things I work to create that bring me joy.
Some favorite themes (I’m paraphrasing from my notes, but I recommend listening to it. Reading it is not the same; his delivery was powerful.):
How can we be happy? Many women struggle with real problems; this talk is not intended as a bandaid, or easy answers to real needs. But we need to analyze how God is happy, and model that.
In what way is God happy? He is a God of creation and compassion.
Our desire to create is a deep yearning. Our spirit bodies were formed by an endlessly creative and compassionate God.
Don’t let fear of failure discourage you from creating.
The more you trust and rely on the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create.
On compassion:
Every sister in the Church is of critical importance.
The number of prayers we say is important; the number of prayers we answer is more important.
Let us feel the silent prayers of others around us and let us be an instrument in answering them.
***
My sound bites cannot capture the strength and beauty of his words. I felt like he was… giving me permission to be my truest self, and giving me greater insight into who that self can be.
Tell me about your favorite lines from Relief Society General Meeting, from President Uchtdorf’s talk or the others. Which were also great talks. But this, this was a masterpiece.
Related posts:
I wasn’t able to take notes this time because dh was too sick to take care of ds, but I really did love Sister Beck’s talk. Didn’t she say something at the beginning about doing better? I love that. I love hearing her calls to action. They truly motivate and inspire me. I also loved that the first of the three main points included improving our own spirituality.
I missed almost all of Pres. U’s talk. Your sound bites, Emily, have given me greater motivation to listen and/or read the talk when it’s available! Thanks for this!
Emily, I just got on here to post about Elder Uchdorf too. I cried and cried and cried because he was speaking directly to me, and was an answer to a prayer.
My favorite? The end, “Lift up your chin and walk tall.” Amazing power in those words as he spoke them.
Ooh, Justine, write what you were going to post–I wish I had not preempted you!
Wendy, I loved Sister Beck’s talk too. I also love her calls to action.
It was a great talk. I love those two words describing God’s happiness: create and compassion. It was inspiring and I’m anxious to read it (I’m a visual learner) and implement these two great principles more in my life.
I was thinking the same thing–I ought to post something because I was sure I wasn’t the only one for whom President Uchtdorf nailed it. He did the same thing (not addressing the same subject but speaking right to my heart) at the recent regional stake conference.
I missed Sister B’s talk. It’s homecoming here and my son had been at a band competition all day so I felt it was important to be home for the 20 minute he would have when he got home to get ready for the big dance. I can’t wait to see and read the entire conference.
I agree that one should listen to President Uchtdorf’s talk rather than just read it. The delivery was a powerful part of the message. One of my favorite lines from the meeting was from Sister Thompson’s talk. It was something like: We must rescue all that is finest deep down in side of us.
re: I missed almost all of Pres. U’s talk. Your sound
bites, Emily, have given me greater motivation to listen and/or read the talk when it’s available! Thanks for this!
and
I can’t wait to see and read the entire conference.
You can get it anytime here. The Church has a new player that makes it slick and easy.
Thanks for posting about this talk. I had tears in my eyes too - definitely spoke to my heart. It was lovely to think about it again with your notes!
Oh, Emily, I’m so glad you posted this. I, too, was so moved by his talk. I sat there throughout wishing that I had brought a kleenex and trying to surreptitiously wipe my nose, but gave up by the end and sniffed and wiped and wiped and sniffed. It was so eloquent, and insightful, and just what so many of us needed. A talk I will remember for a very long time.
I was really moved by his description of “creativity and compassion” just because it is so different from other talks I’ve heard before. I was also moved by the story in Sister Allred’s talk about families that spent five days on a bus eating crackers so they could go the temple. I went the other night and was thinking bout the 45-minute drive as somewhat difficult, but now I’ve penciled in one temple night a month for the next few months so I will be committed to go. After tonight I know I need to make the sacrifice of my time.
I loved both Sister Beck’s and Elder Uchtdorf’s talks. I think Sister Beck is a very powerful speaker. She has an extraordinarily difficult job, but she always speaks with a sense of authority and with the spirit, and every time I hear her, I am moved to action. (I can’t say the action always lasts very long, but at least it is there in that moment.) When Sister Beck speaks, I feel like I want to do better and be better, and tonight was no exception.
My favorite part of her talk was when she talked about her mother moving far away and how Relief Society would be her “mother”. That was poignant for me right now as my dh is job-hunting and we’re contemplating the probability of moving far away from my mother.
I loved the things Elder Uchtdorf said about creation too. I thought that was amazing, and I haven’t heard a church leader speak about that subject in quite that way before. I felt as someone mentioned above, that it validated everything I am trying to do in my life, both in using my talents and in nurturing my family. I loved that he talked about the creation inherent in motherhood but didn’t dwell on the “bearing children” part of it. Since I cannot bear children, I needed more to hear about the creating I’m doing by adopting my children, then teaching and molding them.
I felt a teensy bit guilty about Sis. Allred’s talk–you know seeings how I live 2 hours from the Mesa temple and don’t get there often enough! Traveling by bus for 5 days after selling off all my possessions to get to the Mesa temple seems like a MUCH greater sacrifice than what I’d normally have to do (find competent babysitter, arrange schedule, etc.)
It was definitely one of my favorite talks as well. One part I loved was looking inward will never find you lasting happiness.
I was just thinking about this talk as well and googled “creativity and Uchdorf” and found your summary. Thanks! It made me cry too.
When he was talking about the differences between men and women as exemplified by the way he and his wife cooked, I started to bristle (as I nearly always hate generalizations about men and women) but calmed down right away when I realized that I rarely think anything I do is “heroic” and am nearly always obsessing over my flaws and mistakes. This is one generalization that was spot-on. I wish it weren’t, though, and that more women recognized how heroic they were and were not so easily distracted by their minor imperfections. Few things impede creativity as much as self-criticism. I I hope I am able to change and see the things that I do right instead of always focusing on the things that I do wrong.
PS Emily M! Your elusiveness from google has slipped — I found you and I wasn’t even looking (for you). Thanks for our talk about my brother and the motorcycle a few weeks ago.
Sister Beck made me cry; she understood me completely. I couldn’t even pinpoint exactly how, but at the end of her talk, when her voice cracked as she said “…even though we are weak…” my tears couldn’t be restrained any longer.
She so gets me.
Sister Allred gave me resolve to attend the Temple monthly (like FoxyJ!) and to make it a priority.
Sister Thompson helped me to see that I CAN serve in many capacities; I just need to pray always that I can follow the promptings when they come. She also made me smile so much. How can you not smile with joy when you see her smile and speak?
Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk was, I agree, powerful. I sat there, staring at him, wondering at the power of what we were being told; I could sense immediately that his words were going to be words we had not heard before. I could also sense that his words were going to take all of us –the RS women –to a new level of expectation and joy. And they did! I was so grateful for the things he said. They were so needed!
Man, I love the RS meeting. How come we don’t get to have it twice a year? And for two hours long? Not fair!
The one thing I liked about Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk is that he reminded us that we were already creating and being compassionate. Creating doesn’t have to be a novel, or a perfectly sewn quilt, it can be the PB&J you fed your children for lunch and the smiles it brought to their faces. Compassion can be in your own home as you doctor another scraped knee or wash another load of soiled laundry. Pres. Uchtdorf helped me realize that I can and am doing it and Sis. Beck reminded me to do it a little better. And by doing it I will achieve God’s happiness. Wow.
I’m still getting goosebumpy when I re-think about those messages last night.
The mandate for us to create was SO POWERFUL! And the definition was so clear, and yet I don’t often think that creating peace or creating joy is any sort of great deal on my part. I’m suddenly more aware of it, and my ability to create those things in my home and life.
And being at the church with 400 other women is always a powerful experience. Singing together always makes me cry. It was a great evening.
[...] it was a wonderful evening for you. I loved what Emily M. said about Elder Uchtdorf’s talk here, a “live blog” thoughts and impressions post here, the experience of one member of the [...]
The thing that hit me most strongly from his talk was when, at the end, he just looked right at the camera and said “We love you.” And I knew that he wasn’t just saying it as a filler, but that they really, really love us. And that if he met me, or any of the first presidency met me, he WOULD love me. Even if he didn’t like me. And the fact that someone who doesn’t know me, and who isn’t related to me, and doesn’t HAVE to love me still loves me is everything to me right now.
I, too, loved the celebration of creativity in Elder Uchdorf’s talk. It’s a subject that is so important women but is rarely discussed. I’ve always thought it was so important to make my world beautiful through my creativity, but then felt like I should be concerned about how things look; like I was concerned about superficial petty things. But to me, my surroundings are where I express my creativity. It brings me so much joy.
I so appreciate his talk. What a wonderful message.
[...] At Segullah [...]
I too loved President Uchtdorf’s talk. Here are some snippits of things I liked from each of the speaker’s talks.
Sister Beck:
*She was talking about the Pioneers (I think) and mentioned the fire of faith that burned in their souls.
*That our homes should be sacred sanctuaries from the world.
*That we should increase our offerning(s) to the Lord.
Sister Allred:
*That we should be pure of heart and have a contrite spirit when preparing to be Temple-worthy.
Sister Thompson:
*That the glory of God is intelligence.
President Uchtdorf:
*I enjoyed his quote (?) from the writer of Peter Pan: When we bring sunshine to others we can’t possibly keep it from ourselves.
*That we are an instrument in the hands of God to answer other people’s prayers.
*Happiness is our heritage.
*We sometimes undervalue our qualities and selves.
*Our spirit body is God’s masterpiece.
*We should seek to adorn our mind with the graces of the Lord.
*Service and sacrifice invite the blessings of the Lord.
I also really liked one of the songs that the choir sang (if anyone should know the name, would you please tell me?)
The lyric that really stood out to me was, “Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly.”
Maddison, the Hymn is “Lord I Would Follow Thee”, a great one I’ll always remember from singing in ward choir.
Anyone else want to meet Sister Uchtdorf and give her a big hug? Not only for letting her husband talk about her very human characteristic but also for being such a good wife to him. In my mind if he has a good understanding of a woman’s heart it is in large part due to his wife and mother’s influences.
It was so wonderful having my desire to create, something other than a child, validated. Not that children are something to sneeze at but another hip-hip-hooray for the brethren for supporting women who crave more. (Always remembering that one day they’ll be grown.)
I love reading other peoples’ notes– you always catch things that I missed.
My husband teases me that I could watch Elder Uchtdorf on mute and still be inspired (probably true) but he always speaks to my heart.
I’m glad Sis. Beck’s call to action inspired so many. For me, right now the idea of increasing my offering is so ludicrous that I laughed aloud (relatively quietly) in my seat at the back of the stake center.
But under other circumstances I probably would’ve gotten that invigorating do-something-good desire that comes through the spirit, and that’s a beautiful feeling.
Can I just vent? My stake chose not to show the session. Because they are showing it in a few weeks with a dinner. Because in a few weeks is more convenient for them, and the dinner is the most important thing, apparently.
I am of the feeling that if the Lord wants to use his servants to tell me what to do at 6 pm on Saturday, then I want to hear about it at 6 pm on Saturday.
(Thank heavens for BYU TV!)
La Yen, that’s the weirdest thing I’v ever heard. We had dinner right before. I know I’m on the East Coast, so it’s easier to do it here when the Broadcast starts at 8, but it seems that food could be worked at any time.
Kathy, I also took a deep breath when Sis. Beck started talking, and said to myself, “C’mon, keep an open mind”, and I know I wasn’t the only one, as the woman next to me sucked in just at the same time I did. But Sister Beck seemed very tender last night, and I was genuinely touched by her.
But Pres. Uchtdorf MOVED me. I think my mouth was open the whole time, just astounded that I was hearing something I had never heard before. Creativity. Wow.
Yeah, nothing personal against Sis. Beck. Just not what I needed to hear right then, given my current situation… but it’s good to hear how much others appreciated that message. (Note to self: it’s not all about me. Shock!)
Pres. Uchtdorf rocked.
And how cool is it to have a Latina sister in the presidency? Very.
Kathryn, I think it’s okay that Sister Beck’s talk wasn’t what you needed to hear–not that you need validation for that. For me, I have spent too much of the last several years muddling along in a mediocre, half-effort manner (no children and only part time work was too idle for me, now that I look back). Sometime earlier last year I started feeling an itch to do better, to live more like I know I’m supposed to, more like I have in the past–waste much less time, reach our more, tune-in spiritually, etc. I’ve made efforts at changes (not as much as I’d like, but improvements just the same), and Sister Beck has almost always managed to say just what I need to hear to keep me heading in this better direction.
I have a feeling you have been going full throttle for some time, and I can imagine “doing more” wouldn’t sound very helpful at all!
p.s.-Kathryn, How was the book signing and when are you coming to Utah County?
You know Dalene, if you’d had a DVR you could have watched it this morning as I did (and then paused it, rewound it, and saved it for later.)
I think I’m liking Sister Beck more and more, I’m starting to get her. How did President Uchtdorf know I needed to hear that? I’m still digesting it, how amazing.
I think one of the reasons Sister Beck’s talks touch me is because I just feel for her. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to get up and speak, especially to speak boldly, after having been criticized so harshly in the past. I’ve watched her speak twice now since “the” talk last October, and each time I’m amazed by her courage and willingness to serve the Lord and continue in such a hard assignment after being subjected to such horrible criticism from those who were supposed to be her sisters in Relief Society. I try to put myself in her shoes, and then she comes out with such amazing words, and it just touches me to my core. She’s my hero!
Carina–you totally crack me up.
Kathy–I’m pretty sure Sister B. was talking more to the slacker moms like me.
I feel like I’ve been double-dipping after hearing Pres. Uchtdorf wax brilliant twice now in less than a month.
Kathryn, I was there with you, disconnecting from Sis. Beck’s talk because I’m givin’ it all I’ve got now. Honestly I had to step back a bit from Elder Uchtdorf’s just a bit also because my health issues limit what I can create. It makes me sad to have such a creative mind and spirit while my body is limiting.
eljee, I tried to remember those exact things while I was watching, trying to empathize with Sister Beck as a sister. How much better would we follow the Lord if we had that empathetic attitude for all our leaders?
I thought it was the broadcast AS A WHOLE that struck the right note. While I’m sure one talk can speak more better to one or the other of us, it was the overall messages: you can find joy, you can do it (maybe a bit better than you are), and you can do it all with the help of Relief Society.
And, for the little historian in me, I always get teary when they quote the Joseph Smith right, “I now turn the key to you” instead of the way it was misquoted for over 100 years, “I now turn the key in your behalf.” Just a few words, but a world of difference for RS!
I wanted to look around my stake center to see if anyone else was feeling what I was. For me, Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk was powerful–electric even. I knew that it was what I needed to hear and I was riveted because his delivery was so inspiring. It makes me think of Book of Mormon missionaries who fasted and prayed to have power to reach hearts. I am deeply grateful for a leader like Pres. Uchtdorf who has prepared himself (for a lifetime) to be able to deliver God’s word with the power to go right to my heart.
Jendoop, I’ve had plenty of times when because of health challenges I could do VERY little, and during those very frustrating times, my spirituality lags too, just because I’m not able to create much, or offer much compassionate action. However, I DO think that even during those times, we can create loving attitudes and examples of faith, and just hanging in there (and allowing others to serve us) even when we’re far from feeling great can be a great work, when we’re compassionate enough with ourselves to see our accomplishments *relative* to our limitations. During those times I always try to remind myself that the Lord knows what I can and can’t do and is apparently patient with it, so I guess I can be too. (But I do hate those periods of patience-testing — I greatly prefer being able to be up and doing.)
I also think that “doing better” is DIFFERENT from “doing more.” For one thing, other recent General and Regional Conference talks have urged us to give up extracurricular stuff if it’s keeping us from creating the spiritual family life we need to have as our first priority. We’ve also been urged to simplify and give up any busywork or fluff we create in church callings, and instead focus most on things that really change hearts and lives and bring us to Christ — meaning that doing LESS would in some cases be doing better. Also, *how* we do things (our thoughts, motives, and attitudes) can make a much bigger difference than *what* we do: so “doing better” could mean doing the same things we’re already doing, but with doing more of really invoking God’s help and blessing on our efforts than we might have been. I know there are lots of areas where I tend to lapse into going through the motions instead of remembering to do dedicate my efforts to the Lord.
Also: I missed President Uchtdorf’s regional conf. talk because I had to take my noisy toddler out into the hall, and I’ve been bitter about it ever since. You’ve all confirmed that I really did miss out. (I wish I’d realized I could have gone to the 2 PM rebroadcast that same day.)
P.S. I’m back to offer a specific example I just thought of (inspired by real life): We can change a diaper, or we can “create a positive bonding moment while caring for another person’s physical well-being.” Same action, same amount of physical work, but different emotional quality and spiritual investment, and therefore a more meaningful outcome.
Thanks everyone for your great insights! I am glad, but not surprised, to learn that so many women had a similar reaction to President Uchtdorf’s talk.
And I think my original post did not give enough due to Sister Beck. Like you, Eljee, I’m amazed at the powerful way she continues to lead in spite of the criticism she has received. I love powerful women leaders!! And I loved the story she told about who will be her mother.
I also love the way Sister Allred speaks–my Latina sister-in-law is delighted by her. And Sister Thompson seems like such a kind, salt-of-the-earth person. We are blessed in our leaders.
And maybe it’s the self-flagellating medievalist in me, but I always like to be called to repentance a bit. Here’s why: so often, the General Relief Society Meeting has sounded in my ear like a … slightly patronizing pat on the back. Dear sister, you’re so wonderful, keep being wonderful and doing the wonderful things you’re doing.
Then I read the Priesthood transcript where the men get raked over the coals. And I think, what am I, some kind of angel? I know myself. I’m not. I need a kick in the pants, and I’m grateful for it. When I listen to a meeting without a call to action, I leave feeling worse than before, because that meeting was apparently directed to all the other women in the Church who are perfect, and I must be the only one who needs to get her act together, but no one told me how.
For me, this was the perfect Relief Society meeting, and I am so grateful, as Jennifer B. said, for the lifetime of preparation that allowed President Uchtdorf to speak so powerfully to me and the other women in the Church.
Zina, your diaper example cracked me up. My son is so completely resistant to diaper changing that he flips himself over and crawls away as fast as he can. My sister, watching me chase after this crawling kiddo, slipping the diaper between his legs and getting the tabs moderately in place on the go, has called me “Ninja.” There’s not much nurturing going on with his diaper changes! We finally discovered he will lay still if he has a bottle in his mouth, so things are calmer a few times a day.
I do like your reframe, though–very nice!
Zina, I agree that doing better is different than doing more. The explicit message last night from Sis. Beck was to do more.
Emily, I don’t want to be coddled in meetings either. And I’m fully aware that I’m in need of repentance. But I already kick myself plenty–no assistance needed.
That is where we differ, then, Kathy… I kick myself plenty too, but it’s vague and scattered kicking. I make mental lists of all the things I need to be doing better and improving, and I get frustrated because I don’t know where to begin. I love it when someone lays out a path that resonates with me. And also, as President Uchtdorf did, a path that demonstrates deep empathy for me and appreciation for what I’m already doing.
So, I guess I like being told what direction to kick in. It helps me focus better. To each her own?
Of course. I’m not criticizing you or anyone else for appreciating what didn’t resonate with me. Nor am I criticizing Sis. Beck for failing to tailor her message to my particular needs at this moment in time. I’d like to think I’m beyond that.
I remember well that feeling of wanting to do better but not knowing what, when, where, how. That’s just not my problem currently. I imagine that some other sisters reading this thread aren’t in a position to increase their offering right now either, and I wanted them to know they’re not alone.
And of course, I’m glad so many women did receive the guidance they needed.
Hmm, without going back to re-watch Sister Beck’s talk, from my memory the “more” she was talking about was stronger testimonies, more sharing of the Gospel, deeper spirituality, more meaningful service, etc. I definitely didn’t get a “more running around like a chicken with its head cut off” message out of it.
I guess I just look at the Church as a whole, and we’re not all free from addictions, not all morally clean, don’t all have solid marriages, aren’t all kind or the best examples to our children, don’t all give generously to the poor, aren’t all free of materialism or other idol-worship, are not all well-prepared for emergencies, don’t all have temple recommends/attend the temple regularly, are not all eagerly seeking and taking opportunities to share the Gospel — etc. I love hearing a talk that acknowledges this and affirms that we can do much more to create Zion, and that gives us the Lord’s counsel for how to go about this. I certainly think that the Holy Ghost can and will tell an individual that they’re doing the best they can, and will give a person peace and let them know they don’t need to kick themselves or feel guilty. But I take Sister Beck’s message as a general message to all the women of the church, and I just do see room for improvement there. Also, while I’m not in a position to fit much more busy-ness into my own life, I DO believe I can pay more attention to how my busy-ness really fulfils what the Lord asks of me, and can invest my busy life with much more spirituality than I often do — and that’s what I personally took from Sister Beck’s message, which for me was inspiring and motivating.
Kathy, I didn’t take what you said as criticizing Sister Beck at all–I’m very glad you let other women who are also offering all they can feel some solidarity.
Zina, I have been thinking about creation all day long, doing the same things I always do, just looking at them through the lens of creating my home. I think that’s a little of what you are talking about, investing my busy life with the spirituality of creation.
I absoulutely LOVED the entire meeting. I couldn’t take notes because they turned off ALL the lights, grr, but my two favorite things were Sister Beck asking us to increase our offering. Loved it. No one is perfect, and we can all increase in our obedience, since I don’t think anyone who reads this is a translated being. And Elder Uctdorf… so great. I loved how he emphasized how service is what will make us happy!!!!! I always hear about how women of the church struggle with depression and being happy and HERE IS THE ANSWER!!!! Serve!!!! It was such a great meeting. Can’t wait till I can get the pdf version to read again and again!
And Emily, like you, I love to be called to repentance. Okay, love is a strong word, but I need it! And Sister Beck is so sweet and powerful. I just have to say that I know she was called to be the RS Gen. Pres. by our Heavenly Father through our Prophet. I know her calling is right and true and that she is serving now, in this time, because she is what the Lord knows we need and He has given her the words He would like us to hear and know.
Did anyone else feel like Sister Allred was adressing our sisters abroad just as much as those of us at home, if not more? I totally felt that. Such great women!!
Carrie, I know this is going to sound argumentative, but I’m not meaning it to be so. I’m thinking you didn’t mean to sound as black and white as you sounded when you said, “HERE IS THE ANSWER!!!! Serve!!!!”
“Serve” has been given as an answer to what will make women happy for years. While I think it is very good counsel, many women have taken that to the extreme and have it out of balance, and it actually exacerbates depression or unhappiness. Serving at the neglect of your own self and your family does not bring happiness.
Many of the “women of the church [who] struggle with depression and being happy” are serving their little hearts out, and still continue in depression. Clinical depression generally takes more than serve serve serve to overcome it.
Serving is not THE answer to being happy. It is one of MANY GOOD ANSWERS of things to do to be happy.
I’m not trying to pick a fight or derail this post. I have seen enough women overdo it in this area that I felt compelled to comment about this. I can also imagine somebody reading your post and thinking, “All I DO is serve and it’s not helping!”
Dalene, if we think we’re slacker moms–because that is just about where I land 99% of the time, are we too hard on ourselves (per Uchtdorf), or are we needing to do more (per Beck)? I can’t decide which counsel is most helpful to me. Maybe each is on different days?
My favorite was Elder Uchtdorf’s. Expanding the definition of creativity was helpful.
Adding to what Wendy said–I wonder if there is a difference between compassion and service?
Also, creating. I loved his how he broadened creating to include creating peace, joy, a smile, anything beautiful and useful.
Elizabeth, I say go with where the Spirit touches you the most. If Sister Beck’s call to action motivates you, go with that. If the Spirit prompts you to go with President Uchtdorf’s talk, then go in that direction.
I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive–I think he also wants us to do more, in the sense that he wants us to have a greater appreciation and vision for creation in our daily lives.
I need to listen to it again.
I just want to know when they are going to let the spanish-speaking leaders speak in their native tongue. How ethnocentric of us to have them give their talks in English. Especially since there are more Spanish-speaking members of the church. I think I could handle reading subtitles for 15 minutes.
I think creativity and compassion are the perfect ying/yang balance that allow us to simultaneously grow in our personal strengths (becoming more like God) and reach out to others (becoming more like God). If we take one without the other, we risk becoming spiritually out of balance, in my opinion. That’s why the call to “serve serve serve” without a concomitant dedication to our own personal growth and expressions of creativity (in whatever form that may take) can leave some women feeling spent and bereft. And that’s why a complete focus on personal fulfillment without a service component can also set one up for a possible life of loneliness, even pointlessness.
The reason Uchtdorf’s talk thrilled me so is that he concentrated on BOTH sides of that coin. The service/compassion side has, rightfully, received a lot of attention. I know I need to be reminded to snap out of my personal selfishness every once in a while, and while I might not like those reminders, I also know I need them.
But I also think that Mormon women need to work on exercising their personal creative spirit just as much as they need to work on exercising their impulses for service and charity. Exercising creativity takes forethought, and dedication, and work, even. It takes mindfulness. Many women are even ashamed of their creative impulses, viewing them as somehow selfish.
I also appreciated that while the creativity inherent in child bearing and rearing was mentioned, it was neither the sole focus nor the privileged example. For some women, once they’re done having babies, they feel their creative purpose is already fulfilled, and they may allow those impulses to wither with neglect. Others who might not be able to bear or rear children might also feel that their creative natures can never be satisfied without those opportunities and never fully explore their divine gifts of creativity.
To be reminded that our creative impulses are God-given and an important component of our eternal progression (and for some women, to have it drawn to their attention for perhaps the very first time) might allow women the creativity/compassion balance they need to be better at service and charity.
Yes, it was a really good talk.
Wendy, maybe my choice in words wasn’t quite right. How about instead of it being an answer to depression, service can be an answer to bitterness and disappointment in the life you lead. I think there are many more women in the church who are bitter than there are women who are “serving their little hearts out, and still continue in depression.” I personally have never known any of the latter, but have known many of the former. I certainly wouldn’t assume to know how to treat clinical depression and I am glad to have the chance to clarify the thoughts I typed quickly and probably without enough thought.
Wendy–loved your response.
Elizabeth W.-Let me tell you what Elder Scott told us in Stake Conference and maybe that will help. He encouraged the women in particular (this was after he bluntly told the young men to step up to the plate and be worthy) to pray to know what they are doing right (and essentially to feel good about it) and ask God what they can do better. That way you can apply both talks. What do you think?
Cheri–I believe there is a difference. You can serve w/o compassion. It’s sad, but true. And sometimes you have compassion for someone you can’t really serve except maybe through prayer.
i know i’m always in the minority on this one (and even why i’ve hesitated to see what people are saying about the meeting last night), but i LOVE sister beck. so much. i think i have a girl crush on her.
Carrie, I like your rewording, “service can be an answer to bitterness and disappointment in the life you lead.” That is something I can sink my teeth into. I know that there have been many times in my life when I haven’t served enough, and disappointments have been too much the center of my mind. And there have been times I served and was grateful for the chance to be reminded that my problems aren’t so bad afterall.
And Angela, I love what you said, how you expressed yourself, etc. Lovely thoughts beautifully written.
Jennie–
In regards to the language issue, I actually took a class at BYU from someone who worked with the church translation department for years (I majored in translation studies). The way the church has the system set up makes it much easier to provide audio interpretation instead of subtitles. It is easier to have one video feed and then just switch the audio track, rather than having to provide subtitles. Plus subtitles have to be prepared in advanced and for live conferences that just doesn’t allow for changes. The way the system now works is that speakers prepare their talk ahead of time and turn it in for translating. The talk is translated, including all scripture references. Then during conference the interpreter is actually reading from a talk that was already translated (listening for differences as well). General authorities who speak another language usually record their own audio tracks rather than having an interpreter. There are a few of the apostles who are fluent in other languages that do this as well (I know Richard G. Scott gives his own talks in Spanish). It is not unusual for large international organizations to pick a standard language, like English, and to then provide interpretation for it. Many of the General Authorities have worked with the Church for many years and have some knowledge of English. Also, in many countries it is standard for students to learn English along with their native language. I imagine that some day we will see a General Authority that really doesn’t speak English, but they would probably provide simultaneous interpretation through audio rather than subtitles.
Angela, I enjoyed your commment nearly as much as President Uchtdorf’s talk. Thanks for your eloquently-expressed thoughts.
LOL, Brooke. I’ve also been a big fan since day one. (It seems a little crass to have favorites among church leaders, but I think we all do it.)
I like what someone (Emily? Sorry to not scroll up — I’m THAT lazy) said about how if you know yourself, and whether you’re more a kick-yourself kind of person or more of a slacker who needs a good kick, you can guage how to absorb talks — whether they be calls-to-repentance talks or more reassuring ones. I think that may have been what Kathryn meant — that her temperament is one to call herself to repentance long before she hears a talk that does it for her, so she has less need of those kinds of talks. I was thinking earlier that it’s like with our children — some need a lot of vigorous reminders to behave well; others you can just shake your head at and they’ll burst into tears. As a parent you can modify your disciplining style to the sensitivity of your child, but for a General Conference talk, you’d have to just go with whatever you feel is best suited to the majority. I guess it’s a little like where Jacob bemoans that in calling the men to repentance for immorality, he also risks breaking the hearts of their tender wives and children — in a “general” setting, you may have to be strict towards the majority, even if a minority don’t need it (or can even be hurt by it.)
I tend to be a kick-myself type, but (or maybe because of that) I do LOVE hearing rigorous ideals taught, even when they come with calls to repentance. However, I do often have to fight off the blues in the days following a General Conference, as I confront the contrast between the ideals and where I’m really at, and have to talk myself back into patience with my mortal condition (while still trying to improve where I can.) (I didn’t have any blues from this Relief Society Conference, though.)
Oh, and FoxyJ, that was a very interesting explanation of translation issues, and makes a lot of sense.
I can totally relate to those who feel they don’t need another ‘we need to do better’ talk and those who are motivated by them, because I have found myself feeling both ways at different times.
Just wanted to say that I can relate to jendoop and Zina (was it Zina…I’m lazy, too!) and their comments and experiences with health issues. It’s so very hard to have a willing spirit but a body that won’t cooperate. And I love what Zina had to say about that. We can create and have an impact in different ways.
Just want to add one of the take-aways from Elder U’s talk, “Happiness is our Heritage.”
So here’s a question that has been brewing in my mind….
And here’s a genuine question that has been in my mind. I don’t feel that all my talents, interests, and creative energies can be channeled well through RS in a formal way. I guess my question is, isn’t part of being a woman of RS being anxiously engaged in good that may not directly, formally associate with RS? I felt a lot of focus on Relief Society specifically in the meeting, but I don’t sense, esp. with Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk, that that means we should all be able to feel that RS as a formal structure is the only way for us to contribute through creation and compassion, service and sacrifice.
Then again, I am also feeling that I need to consider more what to do within the structure and function of RS as an organization, and I’m not sure how to do that. For me, it may just be more the little things…praying to know who needs me in my little world.
Don’t know if my question makes sense, but wondered if anyone else wondered about this. There was a lot of focus on Relief Society as an organization, and I get the sense that our leaders feel that we need to do more as an organization, so that has left me wondering a bit.
p.s. Wendy, the signing went well…and stay tuned for the UT county date!
m&m,
We have so very many talented & creative women who share what they have w/everyone at school, at other churches, in their neighborhoods or at work. It is amazing to me the difference that even one woman makes when her arms are outstretched to do whatever she can AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF RELIEF SOCIETY. You don’t have to have a name tag to be a missionary & you don’t have to be a RS Pres. or Visiting Teacher to give relief.
However, if you understand the guiding principles of RS (they discussed them in the meeting–I DVR’d it but don’t have time to rewind & write them down) and get in a mindset of doing things as your own one woman/group RS representative, you will do things differently, more effectively than you would if you were doing them for yourself. God will magnify you. That is all there is to it.
Pray before you go out to work, or a PTA mtg. or a little league game that you can be an instrument in the Lord’s hands to give relief. You can even make your ward RS involved in a community project. We are not just there to be invisible cookie fairies. We can & must elevate the profile of the church & RS through our service, too, as well as the anonymous acts of kindness.
One example is, we have one sister who is our Enrichment leader and on my son’s middle school PTO Board. She has used her talents (which she learned as a missionary & in RS) to turn around that PTO board, they were seriously floundering before! It may not make converts to RS, but RS is there to make the world a better place & she did it! They will know that an LDS sister (they may not know she is a Relief Society sister but we are one & the same) came to their rescue. She helped rescue the best that was in them.
Just don’t be prideful or selfish by acknowledging that w/o God you wouldn’t have those talents. You owe His daughters in RS your time/creativity, too. So often I have seen sisters say that they don’t have time for RS/VT,callings, etc. because they are giving their all to serving their families, communities, etc. This is often true of those who have visible/audible talents who get a big ego boost or money from doing things for others outside the church. Unfortunately, work in the church is much like work in our families–thankless.
If you give the RS your equal time and thought and devotion, you will be blessed w/ increased understanding and creativity and you will learn from others and thus have more to give. The Lord will bless you to know who needs you in your little world and give you more to bless them with.
I don’t have a RS calling & I’m not a VT until they reassign me (recovering from cancer)but I feel like anything I can do (fulfilling compassionate service or cannery assignments, reminding sis. about registering to vote & lending my sealer for home storage) is as formal as it needs to get.
Go to providentliving.org and all the aspects they list from Employment to Physical Health used to be on a little wheel diagram long ago as the “mission of RS”. Helping people do any/all of those things is formally fulfilling the mission of the church.
Becoming immersed & versed in the scriptures is also a mandate of RS, as an individual or getting a RS interest group involved in studying scriptures would be doing more for the “organization” of RS as well. Everything we can do to strengthen ourselves & our sisters we VT to fight the good fight is strengthening the organization.
I know from where my strength comes & try to give the Lord (thru my sisters) His due on both the right hand and the left i.e. in the church or outside the church.
Thanks for these thoughts. I know it probably sounded like a dumb question, but it’s something that has been on my mind. I agree with what you have said, and appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. You articulated well what I have felt, but it helps to have someone else say it, too.
Okay, maybe this is controversial, but I am so tired of the leaders constantly telling us in every Relief Society General meeting about the origins of Relief Society. We get it, Relief Society is divinely inspired, now please proceed with the message. I don’t want a history lesson. I know the origins and I’m grateful for what happened but now I want to get to things that actually make a difference in my life in 2008.
I guess that sometimes it is a thing that bothers me. When I lived in Sweden, the members got really tired of hearing about some General Authorities Swedish ancestory. They appreciated the stories, but for most of them, they wanted to hear substancial and concrete counsel about how to face the challenges in their lives. In fact,a large majortity of them were 1st or 2nd generation members and didn’t have ancestors who joined the church.
On the other hand, I appreciated Sister Beck’s call to improve and do much better than we have. And President Uchdorft’s talk was very inspiring.
And one comment to add to Wendy’s earlier comment about service. I agree with her. This past summer, I suffered with a very intense bout of depression because of medicine that I was not taking. Anyhow, I was giving everything I could to serve my family, serve in the church and outside of the church. I felt like an empty shell and was horribly miserable. I had a chemical imbalance that needed to be treated. I’m in the process of getting treatment and my outlook on life has changed a great deal. And the service that i continue to render does bring me joy now. But it didn’t cure my depression.
And I do have to add a comment about the language issue. English is literally for most of the world the international language. It made seem biased to some, but the reality of the matter is that it is utilized throughout the business world and academic world. I don’t know that that is the reason for the church’s use of English, but it is certainly a common language throughout the world. Most academic conferences are held in English, regardless of the participants’ native languages. Most scientific journals are published in English and proficiency in English greatly adds to a potential scientist’s chances of success. Friends of mine from South America tell me that knowing English is a tremendous blessing to the people there.
It would be one thing if the talks weren’t translated and all members were expected to listen in English, but those talks are translated and broadcast in the various languages. I think the church works very hard to provide materials in the various languages of the members.
but those talks are translated and broadcast in the various languages.
And if leaders can speak another language, they will sometimes translate their own. I have heard Elder Scott speak in Portuguese and Spanish, for example, and of course, Pres. Uchtdorf in German.
I actually like hearing about the history. I think knowing their beginnings and legacy can be very important in understanding our purpose now.
There are many women who don’t really understand the place of RS in the big scheme of things - that is a parallel to the quorums of the priesthood, of similar importance and potential for impact. we have a power all our own as women, and some women don’t see that. We don’t need a new organization or anything else to be able to fulfill our roles as women in God’s plan. We have what we need, and it’s been there since the beginnings. So I think reiterating that can be very valuable for a lot of women. Just my opinion.
M&M, I don’t mind it repeated occasionally, but I feel like it takes up valuable talk time when it is repeated in EVERY conference by nearly all of the presidency.
I’m late in commenting but just wanted to add that I also loved Elder Uchtdorf’s talk.
And I agree with Jennie that it would be really cool to see non-US native general authorities speak in their native tongues. And I think it would go a long way in emphasizing the fact that we aren’t just a North American church anymore.
Thank all of you for your words of heartfelt compassion. On this night great joy has returned on to me. It may only be short lived, but some times that is all one may have. I lost my son 21 months ago. I prey always for compassion for all of God’s children. Joy now only come and go and days and nights are long and lonely. You all are very likly to have one another!
I joined the church in oct 2007 after many months of asking God for direction. Two missionary had been sent in june 2007 to try to teach me. I live on a small farm in NW PA After moving here from Texas after my son was killed in Houston. I had meet one sister also who was suffering w/depression that is 1 out of 4 that had came. Not good odds. All I could do and still do is ask God to be compassionate toward her. I myself can only look forward to planting season. Hard work is good. I work in a steel foundry at night so I always are w/in myself asking for God’s freedom from this bondage. Hot, dust fills the air and the only sound is the pounding of Iron! Sometime the cost of hold on to the end is not a cake walk. But only real life. The church here has 2 wards under one roof but devided in some ways The well off VS the poor ect.. so I don’t much fit in. I only ride the fence between both wards. I would guess thing would be different depending where one went in the country / world. I had been born and raised her in NW PA but also live in Seattle, LA and Houston. Communities are different in many ways. I use the fact that England Spain and France ruled the world. England The USA east coast, France from About S. Caralina to east Texas and Spain from Texas to Seattle. Each brought his or hers cognitive past( religion, beliefs, ect… with them through time. So all I can do is be compassionate toward all people (riding the fence) get it? Thank all of you for what you do. and for your suffering in the The name of Christ.