Before we begin, let me recap. I decided to live smaller and consume less (and subsequently wrote declaring that I would). Can I just tell you that I honestly thought Christmas would be a joyous occasion where our homemade gifts would warm the hearth, and the love we shared by making everything would fill our souls with abiding joy?
I would just like to close this circle by reporting that making 5,000 Christmas presents IS NOT less stressful than buying them, and I have yet to find any abiding joy anywhere.
Why am I home-making 5,000 Christmas presents, you ask? Because that’s exactly how many people I am in loving relationships with. I’ve got children, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, parents, in-laws, grandparents, neighbors, running partners, primary teachers, school teachers, and a husband who is currently wondering if I am knitting him a 1 terabyte external hard drive.
Who do I leave out? Who do I call and say, “Sorry, this year is a home-made Christmas and I just don’t have time for you.” I have found myself up until 2 a.m. sewing, crocheting, knitting, baking, frosting, gluing, and writing. I think if I want to have a home-made Christmas, I’ve got to start full tilt in May. Because let’s be real here. I’m not just making all the presents I’m responsible for. I’m helping all my children make every single one of their presents (which you may correctly assume involves me finishing or being the major architect of every one).
So, in my effort to simplify, to “Be still” and follow my big pronouncement from D&C 101, I’ve created tenfold the stress for myself, and I’m really just ready to let this year slip quietly into that good night.
So I’d really like to talk about simplicity in some other terms. Can anyone help me out here? I was ready to step out of the fast lane. Ready to SLOW DOWN. And… oh, shoot, I don’t have time to talk anymore, I’ve got to go macramé.
I’m laughing out loud because I know exactly what you mean, and I am in exactly the same boat right now! I still have several time-intensive homemade projects to finish in the few days before Christmas, and I’m wondering how on earth it is going to happen. Despite very careful planning, I am SO not done! What was I thinking??? Unfortunately, the memory of this zany-ness will likely disappear by the time next September rolls around, and I’ll do the exact same thing next Christmas.
Let me introduce you to Epiphany. That is when the wiseguys brought their presents–and it give you an extra two weeks.
When my husband was small, his family visited the US from Venezuela unaware of the insane amount of gifts at an American Christmas. So he got a phone call from Santa explaining that he didn’t know that husband was in the US, but would be sure to stop in Venezuela after he was done delivering the gifts, and to look for him around Epiphany. And lo, he received the ENTIRE castle Greyskull with all of the He Men and there was great rejoicing in the land.
And that is why we love Epiphany. Feel free to use it.
Justine,
I’m choking with laughter because in my younger days of poverty and idealism I made all the presents too. I think you could accomplish your goal by a click of the mouse! Same destination different routes.
So funny, Justine. Although, myself, I never expect to feel peaceful making ANYTHING. Repeatedly gluing myself with a hot glue gun (ornament making); getting a spray of Philidelpha Cream Cheese all over my new sweater (when making cheese balls in a stand mixer, make sure that bowl is locked down TIGHT); even the finger cramps from personally signing all those dang Christmas cards. It’s work, baby! Honestly, I’d rather go to Target on Black Friday than hand make almost anything . . . which probably means that I’m not a very good person, somehow :-). But loved your post.
Simple: Gift cards from one store for all.
Pros: You’d be done with your total Christmas shopping in about 5 minutes. If you do online cards, then there’s not even anything to mail out.
Cons: Unless you can give $3-5 gift cards without shame, then this is WAY expensive and although greatly loved because the recipient can choose whatever their little heart desires, it is still impersonal. Further, young children just don’t get excited about having only one teeny present under the tree (or worse, one email waiting for them online announcing the GC), and because frankly, gift cards just aren’t much fun to play with on Christmas Day.
Better idea: Pare down the gift giving lists. Simplify who you give to.
Draw names for both sides of the family so that you each only give to one family on each side with a limit of $40 (or whatever everyone agrees on). You choose whether to try to do individual gifts with the $40 or just buy one “family gift” with the $40. (This is also a time when you could give a ‘respectable amount’ gift card to the family.) Have your child(ren) write personal Thank You notes on hand-drawn cards to teachers instead of giving gifts. Attach a candy bar. Choose your handmade gifts for your closest family wisely opting for the ‘most bang for your buck’ and your effort. Don’t bother giving handmade to anyone who doesn’t appreciate it. If it’s not completed before Thanksgiving, then give it away next Christmas instead.
I hear you. This is why I don’t sew for Christmas (that and the fact that I am terrible at it–which means it takes me 5 times as long as it would a normal human being anyway). I try to simplify by keeping my shopping list short and spending less, but that isn’t as easy as it sounds either. I have alot of extended family members who see Christmas primarily as a secular holiday. They either pity my kids and buy them extra stuff or get offended when I don’t spend enough on them. Or both.
On the plus side, this year I’m spending 3 weeks with out of state relatives who have done most of the cooking and cleaning and helped with child care while I shop and visit old friends. I’m realizing that I love Christmas when I don’t have real life getting in the way.
Three hours ago I was sobbing hysterically over a shrinky-dink gift-craft gone awry. Shrinky dinks are evil. Especially when you have no experience with them and your cute kids worked so hard to draw patterns on stupid circles and then they curl up and turn useless. It was tragic. Also insane.
I’m just glad you went on record as saying making all the gifts you give doesn’t work. That’s not simplifying: that’s feature creep, as a software engineer might say.
Tonight I hit the point where I knew I had once again gone over the top. But at least, not by too much, I hope.
OH justine. I would have to buy homemade gifts in order to have a home-made Christmas (maybe that’s not such a bad idea?) My craft skills are non-existent, the shorts I “sewed” in 9th grade fell to pieces a month later. So, hearing about your macrame-ing (Can I do that?) makes me envious.
Here’s what we decided to do, not that you were asking: get three presents each for the kids. One church-related, one education-related, one super duper fun (all ordered online…love it). Their grandparents fill in the holes. I try not to give teacher/neighbor/friend gifts (I’m a scrooge, I don’t bake, and don’t have the money for everyone. SO, I decided it was too much hassle…plus we move so much, we don’t have that many friends anyway
).
Anyway, I think it’s a fantastic experiment that you have tried. I wonder what you’ll think after it’s all over…maybe you could update us?
Tell me, my children are so young, we’ve never worried about them giving gifts to each other. What do you guys do for this?
I also believe shrinky dinks to be evil. And my hand currently hurts from knitting.
Johnna, I’m totally going to use that word in polite conversation now. I’m going to sound so cool!
I’m also quite relieved to hear that there are a bunch of other completely insane people in the world doing exactly what I’m doing. don’t you think that home-made isn’t actually any cheaper? I think I’ve spent a fortune at the craft store in the last month.
And I am sorely tempted by the giftcard idea, but would have to be a lame, cheap-o gift carder so I steered clear. Too much pride in me .
And Maralise, we have the kids either buy or make something for each of their siblings. This year the older kids crocheted scarves or hats. The younger kids wrote and illustrated a story they created. I did break down and let the kids buy something small for each other, too, and those things were entirely of their own choosing (which means, for the most part, they were ridiculous or strange toys).
All these comments have me laughing and smiling again instead of staring beady eyed into the sewing machine, so THANK YOU!
(just one more quilt to finish, then I might be officially done!)
I made 18 tie fleece blankets this year…and my hands are still dry from tying them all…but I am very exited to give them to everyone (okay so 4 of them are at my house…2 for Zach..1 for Isaac…and 1 for the husband). I was going to get cute Christmas bags for them all but I couldn’t justify spending 35.00 on bags that will last all of a few minutes…so I am going to roll them up and put ribbon around them and a to/from sticker on them….call me cheap but I think I am just practical. I also put more thought into the gifts I got for our kids this year…no just crap, but I tried to really pay attention to what they were really into this year….so they end up getting 3-4 presents each. Let me tell you, every night for 8 days…I was tying blankets…and my fingers would cramp from tying….
oh the things we do….
Last night I had a serious, sobbing meltdown at almost 10:00 pm because I could not find the embroidery needles I needed to finish the hair on the rag doll I was making. I had a craft table piled hight with “stuff” from all my various projects and had dismantled everything several times trying to find the needles. I had just come back from the store buying more metallic gold thread to help my ds make a fairy mobile for my dd (because I lost the gold thread that came with the kit), and I just couldn’t face going back to the store to buy embroidery needles. I finally found them, but by then it was so late that I only got a little bit done on the hair. But my wonderful dh has taken the kids for the entire day today and I am almost done with everything! Right now I am dying fabric for the kids to use to build forts. It’s amazing how it never occurred to me to just buy some fabric that was already colored!
Justine, you are right, I have not saved one bit of money doing things by hand, though that was not really my intention in the first place. My brother and his wife have always had a policy that everybody makes at least one homemade gift, and I thought that was such a neat idea that I decided to do it. After I mentioned it to my sister-in-law, she laughingly told me that they decided to forego it themselves this year. I did want my son to make his own gifts, because I wanted him to have to actually put some effort into the things he gave (he is 5). I found out another sister-in-law made her kids earn money to buy gifts for each other, and I think I might do that next year.
Oh, dear Justine! My heart goes out to you. I had to simply so much this year (I wrote about it on my blog last nite).
On the years when I was going for quantity, I did something on PAPER. For two years in a row, I gave game ideas, stories, etc. that people could use for Christmas parties (some funny, some serious). Last year, I shared my favorite holiday recipes and printed on nice Christmas stationery. Cheap, easy, done with love, but not too stressful.
I also think that people understand that you can’t do it all. I am moving toward email letters to all my loved ones, because snail mail is my nemesis (I never get it all done…too many steps…write letter, print letter, stuff envelopes, address envelopes, stamp envelopes, get to mailbox before mailman arrives).
I hope you get some rest. Hugs!
Ah, now there is a link to my blog with my name.
Tell me, my children are so young, we’ve never worried about them giving gifts to each other.
If it happens, great, if not, I don’t stress about it.
This might sound crazy but we are only giving our kids one present each this year. I think that will be our new tradition. My husband and I are also going without gifts and instead we adopted a poor family and provided Christmas dinner and presents for them. We still have to get extended family members presents and neighbor/ward member presents which is too much, too much money and too much stress. I want everyone to get on my say “no” to presents campaign. I want us all to agree not to get presents for eachother and instead give to a charity or needy family. Then I can spend my Christmas season serving the less fortunate instead of running around town trying to figure out what my brother-in-law might like when he already has everything he needs and more.
heathermommy, we’ve tried for sooo many years to get the extended family to go present free, but also to no avail. Keep trying, and I will too!
Oh how I empathize! One year I tried to talk the extended family into exchanging food storage items (because none of us really needs anything else) and I about got laughed off the planet.
I’ve started to wonder if the pressure to give a gift–whether homemade or storebought–to everyone is a pressure we put on ourselves. And how do we go about letting the love we show to people throughout the year–by being there for them and by expressing to them how we feel about them–simply enough?
Recently I wrote a scandalous post about how I don’t do neighbor gifts or Christmas cards any more. I realized that when most people give of themselves there isn’t an expectation it be reciprocated. So there is not necessarily a need for me to give back in that same way. Service I provide throughout the year in my neighborhood and among my friends and family may be more needed than a temporal manifestation of my love for them. Somehow that has to be enough.
I’m still not there yet, but that’s what I’m working toward. Good luck! Hope you have a Merry Christmas!
I want us all to agree not to get presents for each other and instead give to a charity or needy family.
If anyone, anyone figures out how to do this, please share!
We’ve had attempts to reduce neighbor giving in our neighborhood by people hosting parties on behalf of Rising Star (Indian leper colony) etc, but the practice continues (I’m in Utah).
I feel some success with my own family, though–we haven’t gone down to 1 gift (yet), but we don’t do Santa and instead give 3 gifts (like the 3 Wise Men)–a book, a toy, and something to wear. Easy shopping, less stuff.
Good luck and Merry Christmas! (I’m procrastinating my wrapping…)
My wife is the oldest of 7,with 5 of them married with kids. To control the costs they have a gift draw wherein we have to buy for only one of her siblings (and their family). It may not eliminate the problem but it will help reduce it dramatically if you have a circle of close friends or family. A typical gift is usually some gift certificate the whole family can enjoy (we received a 6 month membership to netflix’s this year).
I’m with TStevens, everyone just has one person (outside of immediate family) for whom they buy one present. We do the drawing at Thanksgiving.
This year I happily bought almost everything online and had it delivered. Amen! Hallelujah!
Justine, I’m the poor one to whom you kindly offered to send the fabric. I had a little fabric myself and sewed a quilt, a pillow, and two purses– that was plenty. The rest of the presents (I have a shorter list) fell into my lap when a lady next door invited me to go over and look through her deceased friend’s possessions (a compulsive buyer) she had it all. Just another miracle. Your kind offer in response to my whining will always be a happy thought for me.
anon, I am so glad to hear you have such fabulously in-tune neighbors!!! There’s just so much stuff in the world, it’s always nice to hear it’s getting passed around instead of stuck in a garbage heap somewhere. It just blows me away how much really usable stuff is sitting in a garbage heap.
A good friend and I have started team shopping at the local second-hand shop (team shopping is a must when you have to pick through everything!) It’s turned out to be a really useful activity!
I’m so glad you had a great Christmas. Thanks for the update!