The window belied the disappearance of the day. The sky was covered in paintbrush colors. It was hard not to notice. It was hard not to pause a moment and watch the sunset. There are evenings that whisper their goodbye’s and there are evenings that shout. This was a loud evening. The light became, if possible, more brilliant than the midday as it ushered itself down below the West Mountains. I looked down at my daughter, and she looked perfect. The golden light cascaded through her golden hair and she smiled, not a cheesy four year old smile, but a much more aged, knowing smile. She grabbed my hand, and the world was perfect. Here I was, basking in the glorious light of a fading sun, enriched by a child’s smile, satisfied by my position in her world, and filled with a peaceful knowledge that I was part of the fabric of the world. My daughter eventually broke the silence.
“Mom, I’ve got a goal. I’m going to stop picking my nose,”
Well then.
Beautiful world, filled with small boogers. I smiled once more at her, and told her what a great idea that would be.
The sun soon set on my moment of bliss. It was dark and murky before my daughter had even finished explaining the detailed intricacies of her resolution. With the light went my moment of glorious success. The sun went down, the boogers came out, and the reality of my place in the fabric of the world was dissipated into the cold evening air. I wasn’t part of the fabric, I was something smeared onto it.
What are you smearing on the blanket?
Oh, how I’d much rather think about what I am doing to enhance my world enough that the stuff smeared on the fabric of life won’t be noticable because of all the beautiful embroidery.
Lovely, Justine. How did she do?
I like the wording of your question. I like to hope I have smeared love and gladness, willingness for adventure, openness, warmth and acceptance, etc. I was recently given some feedback about how “real” I am and easy to talk to, which is something I wanted to be a long time ago. There is something really satisfying about validation like that.
Interesting timing, about the same time, I was also compelled to look at some of my less desireables, and I was not happy to recognize just how very critical I have been of my family of origin. I don’t like that I have contributed to negativity, distrust, and hurt feelings amongst my siblings. And I don’t think that side of me is limited to those relationships.
Keeping to the blanket theme, I suppose I now have opportunity to take my blanket to the Master Launderer and have some of those unwelcomed stains removed.
Too cute! I can just imagine my young nephew saying something like that!
Jia
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