At the end of last month I volunteered to do the final gratitude post in this month of Thanksgiving. At the time I knew that this day would be a couple of days after my trip home to Utah. I envisioned that I would be mostly unpacked from a fun-filled, love-filled holiday trip. I’d be happy to be home again, and I’d have more than enough to write about and give thanks for in a post that would be sure to bring a tear to the eye and a tug at the heartstrings.
Well, I’m home from my trip and as is often the case it wasn’t the vacation I envisioned. I am filled with thanks; don’t get me wrong. But it isn’t because I spent a couple of carefree weeks in the presence of family and friends I too rarely see. There was a delicious Thanksgiving feast and laughter and late night chats with reunited friends, but there was also the work and redundancy of caring for children. When will I learn that it’s not really a vacation until you actually leave your kids with grandma?
The days were also filled with trying to help my mom and grandma deal with my uncle’s recently discovered cancer. Worrying and praying and feeling helpless came along daily with the joy of being together.
Foresight told me I’d be happy to be back in New York and to have the schedule of a regular week, and I am. But along with that schedule comes my small two-bedroom apartment in a 100 year old building where water came leaking through the ceiling last night because my neighbor hooked up a full-size clothes washer to her kitchen sink. My husband and I had to empty out two cupboards and mop up water instead of watch our favorite TV show. In cleaning up and reorganizing we found cockroach homes we didn’t know existed and added an additional load of towels to the weekly laundry that has to be hauled down to the corner in a cart.
So, the things I imagined I’d be giving thanks for a month ago can’t be described the way I thought. Instead, my current list comes out of unexpected worry, daily work, and the inconvenience life can bring.
”¢ I am grateful my mom and grandma can support and help one another through my uncle’s illness, and that they live close enough to lean on each other.
Ӣ I give thanks for my healthy body. Seeing my uncle become suddenly sick reminds me that could change anytime. Knowing that helps me value my body more.
”¢ I’m glad my mom taught me how to work hard.
”¢ I’m happy I am able to work hard at caring for my kids.
Ӣ I love that they have dozens of cousins to play with when I visit Utah.
”¢ It’s nice no food was ruined in the kitchen flood last night.
”¢ I’m excited to throw away expired medicine and make more room as I reload my cupboard.
”¢ Now that I know about those cockroach homes I can “take care” of them. (You know, with Combat, glue traps and the like.)
”¢ I’m glad I can wash all my loads at the same time at the Laundromat.
I could go on, because even though life makes me tired, worried, and a bit inconvenienced there is so much to be thankful for. And without the opposition, I believe we often forget. I hope you can let the seeming trouble in your life lead you to give thanks.
What a beautiful post! You are describing exactly what I love about gratitude–its ability to transform the genuine, messy, realities of everyday life.
I can relate to your situation. On Wednesday this week, I came home from work and left my lights on. I am grateful that my brother in law lives with us and we were able to jump the battery so my husband was only 5 minutes late to work. I am grateful my husband only works a few blocks away and his boss is very understanding. That same day in the mid afternoon, I went to Target with my 2 young boys and came out to find that my car stereo had been stolen as my son forgot to lock his door and I forgot to check to make sure it was locked. I am grateful that no windows were broken, I am grateful that the car was not stolen altogether, I am grateful that the boys and I did not come upon the said thief as he was stealing our stereo creating a possible dangerous situation, and I am grateful that I have a brother who knows Hondas inside and out and can fix my electrical issues since my stereo has been stolen. You know, I did pray that I would recognize my blessings more. Funny how out of a bad situation, I found them.
Life can be humbling and teach us how much we need to give thanks always! Thank you for the reminder!
gratitude during crummy weeks…that’s a really good goal! You’re a great example for me, Heather!
I am grateful for Heather!!!
Yes. Thanks Heather. Tomorrow I will do better at being grateful.