Dear Little Blue,
You don’t really need this letter, because you’ll eventually figure all these things out on your own, but if I could share a few insights with you, I’d let you know that even though it feels like there’s not a soul on earth who’d really care if you ceased to exist, in just a little while that will change. Some angels will appear in your life, in the form of a school teacher, a church leader, and various acquaintances. Their kindness will carry you through the next few years, and you will start to feel what it’s like to be nurtured and cared for.
Your sense of your identity is going to evolve, too. You don’t know yet that you’re not utterly worthless, or that that’s even how you think of yourself, but soon you’ll start to notice some of the internal beliefs you have, and question them. This is good. Examining everything we believe is an important exercise in life, and requisite for growth. You’ll start to feel something inside–called resonance–when things are true for you. If you honor that, you’ll be led and directed in ways that will be good for you.
Not everyone is guileless.
It’s going to take decades, but someday you’ll forgive your parents and older sibling. They probably won’t ever be a part of your life, but you’ll eventually find peace with that situation.
You’re going to learn the most from the hard stuff you go through, so I’m not going to tell you much, but you might just want to turn and walk the other way when you meet a dude named Kevin.
The cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears, or the sea.
A lot of the people you love most will lose their faith in God and leave the church. You’ll struggle for a long time with your faith, too, and part of it will be the shock that this even happens to people. Now you know, so just remember to trust what rings true within you, prove ALL things, and hold fast to the good. Proving requires righteous living. Be fastidiously honest with yourself, regardless of what other people believe. Eventually you’ll find your own, bona fide faith, and it will be worth the effort.
Don’t judge others who are doing anything differently than you. They get to. Love them for where they are at, no matter what.
There’s something called Healthy Boundaries. Life would probably be easier if you learned about them before your forties. Just sayin’.
When you’re 18 years old, you’ll meet a boy who will be nice to you and care for you and accept you loose ends and all. You’ll learn to love each other and provide a safe harbor for each other to heal, evolve, and grow for a long long time. Despite all that, he’ll break your heart little by little, and you’ll break his. But you’ll become fantastic individuals, and raise completely fabulous children together. I don’t know the end of this story, so we’ll have to find out together.
You won’t believe this now, but you are not going to be lonely. There are loads of unbelievably wonderful people in your future, and you will be overwhelmed with gratitude for the goodness and love in your life. You’re going to discover some things about yourself that will surprise and delight you, and this world will be a better place for having had you in it. So hang in there, kid. Remember, we’re all just winging it in life, and none of us is here very long. The journey is the reward, and it’s a wonderful journey.
Older, slightly wiser Blue
What experiences and lessons have most surprised you in your life. Do you have any advice for your younger self? Are there any kids in your life (especially non-related) who could use some care and nurture…who you could make a difference for?