Segullah

Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured

Elephant Tears

I don’t cry a lot. I exercise my tear ducts often enough to make sure they still work, but I have hardly been called a water-works, cry baby or someone with leaky eyes. Yet, I am not at all like my husband, who I have never seen cry. In our ten year history I have [...]

Mourning the Plan

When the doorbell rang at 7:30 in the morning, I wasn’t sure I should answer it. Who would be coming over so early in the morning? I peeked out the window and saw it was a FedEx delivery man. Did I order something online? I was briefly excited for the morning surprise. As I grabbed [...]

Witnessing of God

As a teenager I recited the Young Women theme every week in church. “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us, and we love Him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places…” I thought that the phrase, “stand as witnesses of God,” [...]

things

Yesterday, I wrote on my personal blog about my mother’s piano. As religious people, we take the attitude of eschewing worldly things, of treasuring our relationships, not our possessions. And yet, I feel a great spiritual peace in my mother’s gorgeous grand piano (which is now mine). Perhaps a bit foolishly, I offered up my [...]

Rock the Boat (don’t tip the boat over…)

You know how you can pinpoint the exact place and time you were when you learned about the events on September 11th? Certain days become frozen in time; indelible impressions that mark a change. On 9-11 I was leaving to shop for a washing machine. My in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law was upstairs ironing. There [...]

Let God In

I’d cried through all my Kleenex. My brother strode up to the podium in the temple chapel and pulled out half the contents of the tissue box. Settling next to me he divided the stack and whispered, “Put as many in your pocket as you can. I’ll keep the rest for you.” Mopping my face, [...]

The Rain Falls on the Just and the Unjust

Laguna Beach, 1993. As fierce wildfires fueled by 70 mph Santa Ana winds swept through the Laguna Canyon and hurtled towards their neighborhoods, several families in our Laguna Beach ward found themselves literally racing to escape the 200-feet-high flames. When it was over, the fire had claimed 366 homes, and, though most of our ward [...]

Spiritual Resiliency

Everyone in our ward adored Brother Brown.* His countenance radiated light and goodness; his testimony was firm, sincere, and powerful. He drew us in droves to his gospel doctrine class and then, as a loving priests quorum adviser, he shaped and molded hard-edged teenage boys into men. He was a skilled and busy physician, the [...]

Dark Glass, Energy of Heart

The little boy who sits next to my first grader daughter has been bugging her. “He calls me a baby,” she said. “He says I’m just a little cry-baby. In the lunch line, every day.” “People who make fun of other people are usually insecure themselves,” I said. A little too intensely, and it came [...]

Wanted: Voices from the Dust

  The derecho, an angry gang of thunderstorms packing hurricane force winds poured across the plains, leaving smashed trees and destroyed lives in its wake.  Sailing on a lake, my parents saw the black clouds surging across the pale green sky.  My parents reached the dock, but as my dad yanked down the sails, the [...]

Speechless

I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. We no longer live close to her (we moved last year), and I heard about it from a mutual friend. I don’t think my friend wants to be viewed solely as a cancer patient, as sick, as dying. And while most of us are sick [...]

just show up

I’ve made a mess of things. Really, truly. Please read this and make a mental note of WHAT NOT TO DO. Last Sunday my oldest son received his patriarchal blessing. Can you imagine how I’ve anticipated this day? Ben is a brilliant, sweet, astonishingly mature kid who will clearly change the world. And I could [...]

pieces

I felt the tooth crack, and then shatter like a stone in the garden. Salt Lake’s finest and oldest buildings are formed from Rocky Mountain granite and yet one quick blow from my shovel fractures the rock into tiny grey and white crystals. Spitting the fragments into my palm my tongue probes the hollow– how [...]

Putting Away Childish Things

Last Thursday, I buried my mother. My dad offered the family prayer while I stood by her coffin, patting her shoulder and running my fingers through her hair. She clearly wasn’t in her broken body anymore, but it was sacred to me, and I loved touching her hands and face and running my fingers over [...]

the essence

My mom is dying. Just three weeks ago, I was moving my graceful bleeding hearts from pots into the shady side garden. My little Mary wore her stiff pink garden gloves and chatted with me as I dug deep holes over by the rose arch, “What’s this called? Is that a weed? Why are you [...]

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