Tiffani–Good suggestions, all. And our Maclaren stroller just arrived. Thank goodness.

Angie–”I feel like I’m always mourning trees and neighbors.” So True. Right now I’m mourning the trees that made me not able to see my neighbors (and them not able to see me). In fact, the Hausmeister is in my backyard right now, fully able to see my entire house through the ground to ceiling windows. I’m not sure why. Uggg…

Johnna–I agree. I’m lucky that people have been very friendly to the children, my extra appendages as I’ve navigated my world. I have also found that the local bus drivers have gotten to know us, the people at the street stands near our home have begun greeting us, etc.. All of this lends itself to an increased feeling of comfortability.

Canela–Thank you for wise words. I’d love to chat more…

In the many moves that I have experienced I have found that it isn’t only the house that gets purged of the unnecessary or the useless, it is also the person who sheds unwanted and no longer needed masks and baggage. I have found that every new place has allowed me a fresh canvas on which to re-create myself. I have been able to truly live and be and share of myself in a way that gives others the freedom to do the same.

This freedom comes from the expected end of the journey. I know that if the experiment has unwanted consequences I may leave these behind and only take the learning with me to the next adventure.

Such learning is a priceless knowledge about myself, about the others with whom I shared a knowledge that would have remained undiscovered had I not crossed paths with those that have left new hues in the canvas of my life.

I truly believe that we are the mosaic of our experiences and that the only choice we have is the place that we choose for the tiles we are handed by those with whom we experience life.

May your mosaic become a colorful and vibrant reflection of the radiant soul you possess. (True, I don’t know you, but I believe everyone does have a radiant and eternal soul.)

May your experiences enrich the lives of your children and know that you are enriching the lives of others wherever you go. Enjoy the journey.

That the sophisticated can narrow the mind–killer insight.

Your picture of Stephensdom was a sign to me tonight, after a long day in another city and driving back. Glorious. “Come Find Out” a good mantra to all that’s on my mind.

When I moved to San Francisco (I know, not the same) once I was able to start walking around the neighborhood and later taking bus trips, the children were part of my city experience, people were kind to them or related to us because of my children. Though SF is reputed as not a kid-city.

I feel this way about moving too. As a little girl I of living in one house the whole time my children grew up, of them forming intimate relationships with the trees in our yard and the people on our street. I still dream of that, but nevertheless we have moved every year or two, and since we just moved into a rental house I know we aren’t finished yet. I feels like I am always mourning trees and neighbors.

I’ve been thinking some of the same things as well( okay, for the past couple of moves now), that I want to stop mourning the past and worrying about the future, or at least to do these things in a way that keeps me living more fully in the moment. Still, my heart isn’t entirely there yet.

The hardest part of living in another country with children for me was the different expectations people had about how your children should and shouldn’t behave. Swedish children are very quiet because it is very stressed in the society. In contrast, my boys were noisy and boistrous. I finally gave up apologizing about them and said we are Americans. I did try to tone it down, but I wasn’t going to change my parenting style completely!

There may be an ex-pat women’s club in the area. This way you could meet other ex-pat families outside of church and your husband’s work. I have found the support of other ex-pat families to be invaluable.

I would also scout out a nice kid friendly museum and take your kids to that. We have a favorite museum that I take my children to frequently. They learned a lot about museum etiquette from visiting that musuem and now we handle most museums with ease because they know how to behave.

Sorry, that was a book. But if you would like any other ideas, feel free to email me. I’d be happy to share what I’ve learned and to commiserate.

I don’t know how old your children are, but I haven’t lived overseas with very small children (although I really hope to soon). My boys were able to climb on buses with minimal help and understand the benefits of holding my hand. And I just had two then, so I had enough hands to go around.

I too find it quite pleasant to be out on my own after I get used to it.

Amira–I think it’s the “alone with small children in tow” that is the most intimidating. I was surprised at how comfortable I did feel wandering around the city when I was by myself. The thought of bringing my children into the unknown makes me tense all over. Advice?

The FS scene is definitely overrated. Slick from the outside, political and closed on the inside. I can’t argue that I respect these folks and what they do, I just haven’t found many that I like.

Azucar and Wendy–This reminds me of one of Cjane’s posts when she went to visit her friend and three children and was jealous of her life…and then because Cjane didn’t have kids was able to go on a shopping trip to Target and relax in a cafe? I’m not sure that it’s true that we all want what we don’t have, but I’m pretty sure it’s true that we may romanticize what we don’t have. To me, your childhood sounds amazing and something that I think any child would benefit from, but living that lifestyle (at least for me as a parent)is something entirely different. Does that make sense?

Heather O–you speak German? Why didn’t I know this before? (I could have taken advantage of that sooner).

Foxyj–you get me. Every time I move I think that I have mastered the process, I can make it “easier” this time. But, it seems that it just takes time, I hate it but time is the only thing that seems to heal the isolation.

Ade–Nice to see you here.

Jen–You can do it, because one does whatever one has to do. Let me know when you find out where you’re headed.