Call Waiting

Posted by Guest | June 14, 2009 | 16 Comments

Today’s Up Close: Adoption feature comes to us from Tamlynn Clyde. She lives in California with her husband and two children. She has a BA in visual art but is better at copying than originality. She sabotages most of her free time by taking on too many projects. She blogs at Jack of All Trades, Master of None. (Names have been changed in this story).

“Congratulations, tamlynn-sealing-pic you’re a mother!” I heard from the other end of the phone. I thought it was a joke. I couldn’t speak. “Please get a pen and paper and write this down,” the patient, yet amused voice instructed. “It’s a little girl, born on May 26. She weighed 6 lbs. 4 oz. and was 19 inches long. She’s been using Enfamil with iron. You’ll need to bring a car seat, but don’t buy anything else just in case. Plan to arrive on Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. to start signing papers. You should bring flowers and don’t forget your camera.”

The day was Monday, June 8. I had just been informed that in approximately 48 hours everything I had been hoping and praying and working for would be granted. I called my husband at work. He answered the phone, “Hello?” and I replied, “It’s a girl!” The only words he could come up with then were, “What?” and “Oh!” which he repeated over and over. He told his boss he was having a baby and came home. We spent the next few hours calling everyone we knew. Then we had some shopping to do.

We respected our social worker’s instructions and only bought a car seat. The one that comes with matching stroller, so that doesn’t really count as an extra item. Then we hit Home Depot to look for paint. The “someday nursery” next to our bedroom was going to become a real live nursery in 48 hours. Besides, what else were we going to do all day Tuesday? Painting was the perfect thing to keep us busy. A light yellow paint chip providentially named “Newborn” made the decision making easy.

By Tuesday night, we were ready for a baby. We had a car seat, a box of baby clothes (boy and girl clothes of various sizes) my mom had excitedly sewn three years earlier during my first unsuccessful pregnancy, and a three-year-old crib (no mattress) still in its original box. We had also chosen a beautiful name honoring both sides of our family. And that’s all we had. No diapers, no bottles, no blankets or burp cloths. No swing, no bouncer, no Diaper Genie.

On Wednesday morning, we woke up early (did we actually sleep?) and drove to the temple. In the early morning session we excitedly told anyone who would listen that we were going to pick up our baby in a few hours. We bought flowers. We drove to the LDS Family Services office.

In a small room decorated in pink and teal, we met Christy and John. They were young adults, college aged. They were the people responsible. Responsible for creating a beautiful baby girl. Responsible for prayerfully considering their daughter’s needs and weighing those needs against their own abilities and desires. Responsible for choosing us and changing our lives forever.

We chatted for only a few minutes. Christy expressed to us her desire that we tell our baby how much she loves her and wants what is best for her. John just wanted to see us and make sure we looked like good people. We told them the name we had chosen. It was the same name that Christy’s mother had suggested for the baby. Christy gave us a hospital-issued diaper bag with a few outfits, diapers and bottles. We embraced, our tears flowing freely.

My husband and I were taken to an empty room. In a few minutes, a social worker brought our baby in. Our baby was tiny, wrapped in a bulky, handmade quilt. She was sleeping. The social worker placed her in my arms. She woke up, looked at me with big blue eyes, sighed, and went back to sleep.

One night, eleven blissful months later, the phone rang. On the other end of the phone my friend says, “My cousin just found out she is pregnant. Are you interested in adopting the baby?” I tell her I’ll have to call her back after I talk to my husband. He and I kneel in prayer. We look up at each other and I say, “It’s a boy.” Then I reach for the phone.

Comments

16 Responses to “Call Waiting”

Selwyn
June 14th, 2009 @ 5:52 am

Wow.
Stacey
June 14th, 2009 @ 8:22 am

That was beautiful. I know, being a sibling to adopted children, that Heavenly Father knows whose family those special babies belong to. My mother told me once that she knew my brother was her son the first time she saw his birth mom. She was still pregnant with him and hadn’t made the decision to place him yet. But my mom knew. (They were family friends.) Isn’t it just amazing? Congratulations to your beautiful family.
eljee
June 14th, 2009 @ 8:56 am

Getting “the call” is such an amazing thing! Thank you for sharing that, it brings back so many memories. We had one baby on 2 days’ notice (not my preferred way, but I’ll take a baby in whatever way they come). With my first, I did a lot of preparation, particularly shopping, ahead of time. With the second, the 2-day notice child, I hadn’t prepared at all. Now, waiting for #3, I’m trying to find the balance between becoming ready physically and emotionally for a new baby and keeping enough distance to stay sane for an indefinite wait. I need that preparation time, that time to make the transition between family life as it is and life with a new little person. I think the process of “becoming” a mother, or a mother to another, is so important and often gets neglected for us adoptive moms.

Is that your sealing photo? It is so beautiful! We don’t have great pictures from the temple, and it’s one thing I have missed.
Courtney
June 14th, 2009 @ 11:04 am

Beautiful story! I love how our families all come to us in different ways.
Leslie
June 14th, 2009 @ 11:56 am

Thank you Tamlynn. It is amazing how families get built. When we were contemplating the adotpion process I always wondered what that transition to motherhood experience would be like and how it would feel to have one of those phone calls.
anon mom
June 14th, 2009 @ 1:11 pm

Tamlynn,
Thank you for sharing your story. I love hearing them. They are all so unique and similar at the same time. Different circumstances; same beautiful witness by the spirit that God has a hand in all things.

Eljee: you HAVE to hire a photographer for your “next time” at the temple. Only one of my children are adopted, but since all of them were able to be at the sealing the temple pictures of our family surrounding that experience are priceless to me. {Tip: we actually went the evening before and had such a calm, beautiful experience–peace + excitement for what was to come = a good mix. Plus, the lighting was gorgeous. }
Laura
June 14th, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

BEAUTIFUL!!! Loved reading that~
Catherine
June 14th, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

Beautiful story and beautifully written. Thanks for sharing it, Tamlynn!
pam
June 14th, 2009 @ 3:08 pm

I lived it and I still cry, its truly God’s gift love mom
Jenny Scott
June 14th, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

What’s even more amazing is your ability to be just the mother they need. You are so attuned to just what it takes to challenge their minds and grow their little personalities and talents. I admire the Mother you are to your children. (Keep Going
bekah
June 14th, 2009 @ 8:24 pm

Now I’m all teary-eyed. What an amazing experience. I can’t imagine better parents than the two of you for your sweet children. My testimony of adoption grows every time it touches my life. Thanks for letting us be a part of yours.
jendoop
June 14th, 2009 @ 9:41 pm

So glad it worked out so well for you.

Thank you for sharing your experience, truly sweet.
m&m
June 14th, 2009 @ 11:41 pm

Beautiful.
Jenny
June 15th, 2009 @ 8:02 am

SO touching. I cried years ago as I listened to the heartbreaking story of a young mother who bravely gave up her baby girl for adoption as a teenager-turned-adult. Your story completes the amazing process of action, consequence, humble and prayerful decisions and then tender mercies and blessings for everyone who is willing to take that leap of faith. Lovely.
Merry Michelle
June 15th, 2009 @ 8:30 am

This was like the start of a great novel and I was jolted when it stopped–I wanted more! What an amazing story! I recently got to witness the sealing of a friend to all her beautiful adopted children–WOW! Why doesn’t every family get to experience that? When they bring those little angels in all in white it’s like we’ve crossed over the veil into heaven.
Jeannette
June 15th, 2009 @ 9:32 am

I always love reading about adoption from the other side. I can’t imagine how that must felt. Thanks for sharing.