Comments on: Wanted: Voices from the Dust

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:07:53 +0000

So lovely. I love my parents, and can’t imagine enduring that type of loss. Your experience makes me want to really make something meaningful of our time together. Thank you for that.

By: Sue

Sue — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:40:04 +0000

This is a poignant reminder to all of us that we need to put our lives down on paper so our children (and their children’s children) can know us. I have very little in writing from my grandparents, but what I do have, I treasure.

My mom, on the other hand, is on p. 120 of her personal history!

Great post.

By: Kathryn P.

Kathryn P. — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:53:02 +0000

I really appreciate all the kind and thoughtful comments.

Carolee, your comment felt like a warm hug. The love my siblings and I received from our childhood ward is one of the main reasons that four of us are still active church members. The members of that ward, including your family, were like beacons of light and hope.

By: Carolee

Carolee — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:38:21 +0000

Thanks for writing so beautifully about this, Kathryn. It brought tears to my eyes. I remember the night your father died, we were camping with other ward members during the storms which tore apart the area. I don’t remember a lot of things in my childhood, but I remember clearly being told about the accident and your father’s death and the shock and grief on the faces of the ward members. The camping trip ended prematurely and we all went home to face a different reality. My friend had lost her father, and I didn’t know how to help you because it frightened me so much — the possibility of losing a parent. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you and more supportive of you with the pain you were living with after that day. I was a child too, and didn’t know a lot. But if I could go back, that’s one thing I wish I could do better.

By: Sage

Sage — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:58:12 +0000

Thank you, Kathryn, for this beautiful post. Both my parents lost their fathers when they were children (my father at 1 1/2, my mother at age 8). It affected how they developed their view of the world.

Like Merry Michelle, I feel like I have a strained relationship…or at least a distant one that I always wished were different (I begged for him to write me a letter when I was a missionary. I think he finally wrote me once).

It seems I still have some things to learn about how to relate to my father.

Thanks for sharing your stories. It helps me make sense of my own.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:39:59 +0000

Beautiful, beautiful writing. Thanks for the inspiration.

By: Merry Michelle

Merry Michelle — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:30:46 +0000

Kathryn,

This was so achingly gorgeous! I loved your little bits of memory footage in such vivid detail. What a blessing to be born with an enchanted pen yourself and to record so beautifully what you do remember.

I have not lost my father, but our relationship has been very strained at times. He came from a very abusive childhood and didn’t exactly have the best temper.

That being said, I came to realize (as an adult) that his mission was to come to earth and break the chain of abuse and suffering. He may have had a short fuse, but he did not carry on the abuse inflicted on him and generations before him. He was a “Savior on Mount Zion” and purified a family line, and for that I will forever be grateful to him no matter what idiosyncrasies still linger in his personality.

But I have to say that the most striking thing for me in this post was the resemblance between your son and your Dad. They’re like mirror images of each other! I literally had to get out my out my ward directory (the one with the pictures) and compare. That big, cheesy grin is IDENTICAL! You have a bit of your dad with you…

By: jendoop

jendoop — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:25:34 +0000

Thank you for sharing your tender and precious feelings.

My Dad is still living but I feel like his testimony died and I’d like his journals to know who he was before that happened. He doesn’t talk, other than ‘pass the ketchup’ and ‘good to see you’. I don’t really feel that I know who he is. I can’t make him talk and I’m sure one day I’ll have many regrets about our relationship. If he had journaled maybe he’d have more answers to his questions as well.

By: Selwyn

Selwyn — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 08:26:48 +0000

I only posted about my Dads yesterday. Loss is such a empty, longing emotion. I imagine how anything written or received from the dust would help me understand people that are now totally out of reach, which usually makes me feel worse, knowing there will never be that special something. At least not here in this life.

Thank you for sharing so lyrically Kathryn.

By: Kathryn P.

Kathryn P. — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 07:57:47 +0000

We had a birthday in our family today, so I didn’t have time until now to read your comments. One of the first blogs I wrote for Segullah was about Insider Clubs. The tender connection I feel to other people who have lost a parent to death motivated the writing of that blog, so I’m especially grateful for the members of that “club” who shared their feelings today.

Today’s blog was partly motivated by the desire to encourage you to record your testimonies because, as Carol shared, a parent’s testimony is a precious possession. I’m a faithful journal keeper and I’m currently compiling my memoir (which will include my testimony) for my children and future grandchildren.

Sunny,I think all my childhood experiences influenced how I treat my children and husband. Every day with my family now seems like a precious gift and so I always make sure my last words to them are words of love as they leave the house. However, understanding the trauma of my childhood has been a 40 year journey. I was only eight years old when my mother suffered the traumatic head injury in the accident which killed my father. A couple years ago, a friend in my ward suffered a traumatic head injury in the same part of the brain as my mother’s injury. She was sent to a doctor that specializes in brain injuries and tested her to determine how the accident had changed her personality and mental processing skills. That type of testing did not exist 40 years ago. That part of the brain is where the social filters are located. My friend is able to discuss with her little children why she seems like a different mother since her accident. Plus they still have their father to provide love and stability. We didn’t have that kind of support.