I have heard that line of reasoning before, and while it may work as regards Heavenly Mother’s name, it doesn’t quite gel with me in terms of missing womens’ stories in the Book of Mormon. The idea that women are too sacred to have their stories told in scripture is just depressing to me. I want to read those missing stories! I want my own story told! Does my desire to tell my own story make me less sacred than the women who didn’t get their stories put in?

For me, peace comes more if I can acknowledge the possibility that this lack of women in the Book of Mormon might be an error, an oversight, one that will be corrected when all truth is restored.

There is a beautiful book you should read, called “Eve and the Choice Made in Eden” by Beverly Campbell. It really sheds light on our worth as women and the beautiful role we play here.

An institute teacher I once had suggested this: maybe the reason there are not very many women mentioned in scripture is the same reason we know almost nothing about our Heavenly Mother – maybe our Father holds women so sacred, He doesn’t want them mentioned for the possibility of their names being defamed. Look at what people have done with His name and how little He is valued or recognized by many people.

Maybe just a thought, but I felt peace with this.

A friend of mine (a man, by the way) was the Primary chorister and one of the little girls complained that all of the Primary songs were about men.

So after that, he had them sing, “We are as the Army of She-laman.”

Re: “We also have the wives who inspire the men to fight, and the mothers of Helaman’s army.” I won’t repeat what I’ve explained elsewhere about the mess I made of my life a while ago because I just want to note here that for the last 8 years God put a wonderful woman in my life who has fought hard for my well-being. Frequently, especially in the early years, she fought *me* for it. I finally — thanks to God’s grace, her fighting for me, and me giving what I could to that fight — am being well. Because of a *woman’s* fight. I’d say she fits “And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul [me] unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!” (D&C 18:15) if she were yet LDS, but I have hope for that also.

Carrie, your comment #13, “I think the more righteous a person really is, the less likely it is that he/she will feel like they are better than other people” reminded me of this from Jos. Smith, “The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs.”

During my repentance, I’m learning from the compassionate people who help me what miraculous changes can be accomplished by looking upon others’ imperfections as opportunities to serve them instead of as targets for scorn. I’ve come to suppose that is why God allows others’ imperfections/sins to become apparent/harm others: so that the others will understand the depth of the need for this service. “When we are willing to restore to others that which we have not taken, or heal wounds that we did not inflict, or pay a debt that we did not incur, we are emulating His part in the Atonement.” – Boyd K. Packer

I’m delighted and encouraged by the sense of forbearance that seems to be developing here towards weaknesses in others. Just recently I realized that BY must have developed great humility to serve as he did. To perform in his position, either he had a self-grandiosity which could only be sustained by denying his evident weaknesses, or had to recognize them and either by crushed by their super-public exposure or become humble so that the global slings that came his way would have no pride-target to hit. I suppose he was self-aware enough to require humility to continue his service, but how difficult any slice of pride would make it in a life filled with public notoriety and scorn! The forebearance I sense here makes it easier for others both to continue in the service they now can give and to recognize and correct their faults.

A couple thoughts from others on this:

“One of the greatest indications of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others.” (David A. Bednar, GenCon 10/2006)

“Movements born in hatred [even of perceived wrongs] very quickly take on the characteristics of the things they oppose.” (J. S. Habgood ) As Christ taught in the Americas, contention *per se* is of the devil (3 Ne 11:29-30).

“Evil multiplies by the response it seeks to provoke, and when I return evil for evil, I engender corruption myself. The chain of evil is broken for good when a pure and loving heart absorbs a hurt and forbears to hurt in return. Deep within every child of God th Light of Christ resides, guiding, comforting, purifying the heart that turn to him.” (Dennis Rasmussen, “The Lord’s Question,” pp 63-64)

As an unworthy recipient of this kind of love and forbearance, I know that it is the best way to bring about a Christlike change of nature.

This is *not* to say that is the end — it is the beginning. Sincere forbearance can soften a heart to understand, finally, the injury that his (my) wrongful actions cause. But — and this is not fair, but it is the way God set us to live on this earth; Christ’s sufferings for those who killed him also weren’t fair — the forbearance leads to the change of nature/conversion we seek.

Pres. C. Terry Graff’s words on re-activation can be borrowed here,

“To have the fellowship of the saints while we are working on our problems is a great, great blessing. President Gordon B. Hinckley visited our stake several years ago and dedicated a chapel. He said that an appropriate message might be if there were a large sign on the outside of the building that said, “Smokers [or Sexists] Welcome.

“We have found in our activation efforts that that welcome and acceptance and love is so valuable, and not pressure for them to give up their habits first. When we extend that unqualified welcome and love, we can create an atmosphere where the Holy Ghost can bear witness to their hearts. And herein is the spiritual key to activation [or helping to drop any un-Christlike trait]: like missionary work, simple teaching, fellowship, and a humble testimony allowed the Holy Ghost to bear witness and re-create the conversion process.” (GenCon Leadership Session, 4/1985)

I’m sorry to say that I never valued women (or men) so much as after I received from them what literally proved to be life-changing and -saving help. Somehow, sadly, realizing the value they are to me opened my eyes to how valuable they are absolutely — much like the Protestant congregation that foreswore further anti-mormon activities after LDS volunteers rebuilt their Katrina-destroyed chapel.

As I *begin* to understand becoming Chrislike, I see three levels of His commandments regarding others. The first two are (1) to serve all, which leads to (2) loving all.

The third level more closely embodies the at-one-ment. Christ explained the atonement while He worked it out in Gethsemane,

“I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word [...] Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” (John 17:6,20-23)

God’s love is the surest, most constant, form of joy (1 Ne 11:22-23). Once filled with it, we’re able to absorb the offences of others because we have a sure, stronger source of sustenance that others can’t take away. And we naturally seek to share it with them so they can be free of their bitterness also.

I’m learning that we can serve and love others from an emotional distance but to become at-one-ment-ed with them requires an intimacy and a humility that I hadn’t foreseen. As I ponder now how to become one with each person, I naturally eliminate the causes and excuses I used to maintain an emotional distance and now seek their well-being instead. I also find myself more comitted not just to helping but to helping them change their natures to become Christlike. (Yes, I note that Christ spoke of oneness among believers and Paul warned against becoming unequally yoked with unbelievers, but don’t we hope that all/any will believe?)

This oneness can reach its highest form in the potential women and men have together. As Erastus Snow explained,

“I only repeat what he says of himself; that he created man in the image of God, male and female created he them, and he called their name Adam, which signifies in Hebrew, the first man. So that the beings we call Adam and Eve were the first man placed here on this earth, and their name was Adam, and they were the express image of God. Now, if anybody is disposed to say that the woman is in the likeness of God and that the man was not, and if vice versa, I say you are both wrong, or else God has not told us the truth.

“I sometimes illustrate this matter by taking up a pair of shears, if I have one, but then you all know they are composed of two halves, but they are necessarily parts, one of another, and to perform their work for each other, as designed, they belong together, and neither one of them is fitted for the accomplishment of their works alone. And for this reason says St. Paul, “the man is not without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.” In other words, there can be no God except he is composed of the man and woman united, and there is not in all the eternities that exist, nor ever will be, a God in any other way. I have another description: There never was a God, and there never will be in all eternities, except they are made of these two component parts; a man and a woman; the male and the female.” (Journal of Discourses, 19: 270 – 271. Full text may be read here: http://journalofdiscourses.org/Vol_19/JD19-266.html)

And so this is the true fault in sexism, in contention, in racism, or in any other thing that separates people rather than making us at-one. Christ died and rose to effect this at-one-ment among the believers, who will live *together* on a glorified Earth. Any action by a man or by a woman that denigrates instead of exalts the other denies, ultimately, the purpose of Christ’s atonement.

“And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God.” (Mni 8:26)

Elizabeth–Yes, that was my newlywed ward! It was a great ward. Good people. I looked at your blog–are you Becca’s sister Liz? I always admired your family for being anchors in that ever-changing ward. (especially your dad! What a great choir director. He could have been so sick of music callings, but he just went for it and really made it a great experience.) Glad you liked the post.

Salma–I look forward to reading it too.

Sharlee-I like the history of the “women as angel” idea. And the idea of “which man” and “which woman.” Heck, I like it all. You are wise.

Anon–Hmmm… On my mission to Catholic Ecuador, I also wondered what Mary would think about all the prayers directed to her. And yet I have to agree with Sharlee’s question. Are the Book of Mormon women who did get a mention less worthy than all of the protected ones?

Thanks to everyone! It has been a great discussion.