18 Months
ONLY TWO PARAGRAPHS INTO READING Amy Ward McLaughin’s “The Butterfly,” from 18 Months, and I was a greenie again in Ecuador: “Bugs hovered and waded through the soupy air, and our neighbor’s samba music blasted through the patch of still, gray sky between the roof and walls of our windowless room.” McLaughlin describes walking behind her companion, “determined to be positive,” and growing more frustrated by the new surroundings and her new duties. I was there with her, remembering my own painful first month, trying to figure out who I was and how to be cheerful when faced with early-morning roosters, late-night salsa music, and urine-soaked alleys. Ten years later, I’m still processing the joy and sorrows I experienced as a missionary in Ecuador. I loved connecting with the stories in this excellent, uplifting collection of personal writings about sister missionary experiences.
Personal essay has the ability to reveal the truth of a mission more effectively than almost any other genre. Journal entries and letters home capture the experience as it occurs. But processing the truth of an event, why it’s important and how it changes us, requires time and perspective. In “Being Sister Frandsen,” Rosalynde Frandsen Welch explains how she grew from “Rosalynde” to “Sister Frandsen.” It was not as immediate as putting on a name tag, but rather a gradual transformation, as she became the person on the nametag. Looking back at her changes after they have filtered through time allows her to see them clearly. The same is true of Rebecca Bennion Zimmer’s account of a pivotal moment when she testified boldy in, “The Bold Rooster,” or Dana Leonard Palmer’s tale of her need to know that she was supposed to serve where she had been called in, “The A+ Mission.” A collection of writings like this is the best way to learn the truth of the sister missionary experience: real stories, stories with believable joy, told with enough distance to see them clearly, and enough closeness to hold them dear.
Many stories moved me, among them Elizabeth Jensen Thomas’s story of Steffi, one of her converts. She tells about the difficulty of watching the gospel change Steffi’s life, only to see the world slowly reclaim her again. It reminded me immediately of a teenage girl I taught and baptized and watched fall away. I always questioned whether the joy we’d experienced together before her baptism was real—and I always, always wondered what I could have done differently.
In fact, that self-questioning is a common theme throughout these essays: we sisters seem to doubt from the beginning. We wonder whether we ought to go on a mission in the first place (C.S. Bezas, “But I Don’t Want to Go”), whether we are doing the work the right way (Lia Madsen, “My Three-Week Mission”), whether we are working in the right place (Dana Leonard Palmer, “The A+ Mission”), or whether God approves of our imperfect labor (Janet Garrard-Willis, “Early Returns”). Many of the essays explore that plea at the heart of all our service: did I do the right thing? Did I serve well enough? Did I give enough? And the answers are filled with grace. As Amy Harris says, “A flawed but earnest sister missionary is loved by the Lord, not because of any great service, but because she is his daughter. The Lord encourages her not because she has arrived at perfection, but because she is striving to reach it.”
Some pieces were stronger than others. I preferred the essays that centered around a specific experience or theme over those that seemed to generally reminisce. The essays with a more focused approach took advantage of the strength of the personal essay, finding truth from detailed stories.
Overall, though, I was delighted and moved to read these experiences. In my life now, ten years post-mission, I have pondered the same issues as these sisters: am I serving the way I need to? Is the Lord mindful of me and my little family? Am I giving enough? This collection prompts introspection for all, not just sister missionaries: we are each working on an individual life mission, each seeking God’s approval on His path of grace.
TO READ an excerpt from 18 Months, please visit this page on our website: segullah.org/book-excerpt-18-months
