Never before have I imagined in great detail the events as unfolded to me by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland last Sunday afternoon in the last session of General Conference.
Never before had the weight of loneliness felt so acute as it did that afternoon. Not for myself, but for the Savior. Elder Holland’s words rang to the ear of the destitute and scourged. I have understood the pain of loneliness, as I’m sure we all have, and the Spirit whispered to me last Sunday afternoon that the Savior understood it, too.
As I make my way through this existence, I often wonder if the clay smile I’ve tenderly placed on my face will crack through to expose the scarred and mangled hurts and struggles I carefully conceal beneath. It is sometimes difficult to keep hold of the fragile faith I sometimes possess. Sometimes the pain of despair threatens to crush my clay face, leaving me exposed and vulnerable.
But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us.
I am remarkably grateful to know that the Savior understands not just my mistakes and my mis-judgments, but He understands my doubt, my uncertainty, my insecurity.
…when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.
I was reminded last Sunday afternoon that my “determination to be faithful” must be obvious. I’ve simply got to press on. And I’m honored and privileged to do so, because the Savior has paved the way for me.
He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone.
What a great reminder to stand taller myself.
Have a wonderful and spiritual Easter weekend.
Stand tall, and stand by the Lord.
I love you ladies, I just really, really love you.