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By Justine Dorton

Never before have I imagined in great detail the events as unfolded to me by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland last Sunday afternoon in the last session of General Conference.

Never before had the weight of loneliness felt so acute as it did that afternoon. Not for myself, but for the Savior. Elder Holland’s words rang to the ear of the destitute and scourged. I have understood the pain of loneliness, as I’m sure we all have, and the Spirit whispered to me last Sunday afternoon that the Savior understood it, too.

As I make my way through this existence, I often wonder if the clay smile I’ve tenderly placed on my face will crack through to expose the scarred and mangled hurts and struggles I carefully conceal beneath. It is sometimes difficult to keep hold of the fragile faith I sometimes possess. Sometimes the pain of despair threatens to crush my clay face, leaving me exposed and vulnerable.

But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us.
-Elder Holland

I am remarkably grateful to know that the Savior understands not just my mistakes and my mis-judgments, but He understands my doubt, my uncertainty, my insecurity.

…when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.

I was reminded last Sunday afternoon that my “determination to be faithful” must be obvious. I’ve simply got to press on. And I’m honored and privileged to do so, because the Savior has paved the way for me.

He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone.

What a great reminder to stand taller myself.

Have a wonderful and spiritual Easter weekend.

Stand tall, and stand by the Lord.

I love you ladies, I just really, really love you.

About Justine Dorton

Justine is a mother to five children, and has a husband lodged somewhere (probably in the den). She is not very fond of speaking of herself in third person.

13 thoughts on “Alone”

  1. Thank you for this post. There was a time in my early high school years where due to a number of factors I felt completely alone, except for my Savior. He was always there. Despite my faith I still had to push through months of depression and difficult circumstances, but He protected me and helped me through. He understood, and He loved me.

  2. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this. I think the hardest part for me of coming to Christ is actually thinking of him, and what he suffered, while I am in the midst of despair. I tend to go the self-centered route, versus what I should be doing, which is leaning on him. I'm working on it!

  3. This was my favorite talk in conference as well. Did you see the cool Easter video the church put out along with this talk? You should check it out. I wrote about it on my blog today, but you can also view it on lds.org. It's pretty cool.

    thanks for the thoughts and happy easter!

  4. The part of that talk that struck me the most was when Elder Holland pointed out that Heavenly Father withdrew His presence from the Savior so that the Savior would know how we feel when we sin, even though the Savior had never committed any sin. I realized, again, how the Savior has experienced every single one of our pains, our sorrows, our times of loneliness and despair so that we never have to feel alone if we turn to Him. It was a beautiful talk. Thank you, Justine, for reminding us of it this weekend.

  5. This talk by Elder Holland was perhaps the most spiritually stirring I've ever heard. I am not a big crier (though the older I get, the more that is changing…), but I literally wept through the entire last third of his talk.

    I used portions of the talk in my Relief Society lesson yesterday, and the class became emotional, too. My lesson was on missionary work, but I wanted to bring the Savior into it more strongly since it was Easter, so at the end, I talked about the concept of not letting him "walk alone again" in regard to missionary work. When you read that last part of the talk aloud, the part where Elder Holland says, "…he has already walked alone once…" and then asks us never again to be onlookers at the side of His Via Dolorosa, etc. etc., it is pretty powerful.

    Elder Holland has always been a favorite of mine, but his talks in both this conference and the last one have been amazing.

  6. So well said, Justine, as always.
    Don't know you IRL. But your comments over the past months have been reminders to me that I am not alone–that nameless other women out there share some of the same concerns. Thank you for that–I love you for that too.


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