Last weekend I decided to watch a movie that came out last year, but apparently has not had much publicity because I had not heard of it until a few weeks ago. The movie is called A Better Life and it is about a gardener who lives in Los Angeles and is raising his teenage son by himself. The gardener, Carlos, wants his son, Luis, to have a better life than he has, but is so busy working to just to pay the rent that he and Luis have grown apart. Carlos’ boss convinces him to buy his truck when he decides to go back to Mexico, and for one day Carlos thinks he finally has a chance to get ahead. Then his truck is stolen and Carlos, who cannot go to the police for fear they will discover that he is undocumented, enlists Luis to help get it back and save their family. A major theme in the movie is the unknown: Luis really doesn’t know what his father does all day or understand the sacrifices Carlos makes for him; Carlos doesn’t realize that his son is drifting farther away from him and is tempted to join the gangs in his neighborhood; and most of the people in Los Angeles don’t even see Carlos or his family and friends at all or understand anything about his existence.

After the movie was over, I realized that I really didn’t know anything at all either. I had thought I might be able to relate to the story. I grew up in Southern California and, according to district statistics, my high school was about 80-percent Hispanic. Some of those students came from families that had been in the United States for generations, and some came from families that had recently come from Mexico and Central America and were surviving by picking the strawberries, lettuce, and broccoli that grew in fields that surrounded my town. The scenes in the movie set in the high school were familiar to me—the cholos lounging around in their white t-shirts and cut-off Dickies, the loud rap music, the police officers patrolling the outskirts of campus. But I realized as I watched that I never actually knew any of these fellow students of mine. Most of my friends were the children of Vietnamese and Chinese immigrants, and we joined National Honor Society and Knowledge Bowl instead of the soccer team or the Mexican dance group (though I did always envy the girls who danced in those beautiful flowing skirts). Despite the fact that my school had a high percentage of Hispanic students, very few of them were in my honors-level classes. I didn’t see them and they didn’t see me.

At church, our ward shared the building with the Spanish-speaking ward, but we didn’t do much together. I would imagine that some of those students probably went to my high school, but I don’t think they attended seminary with us. I played the piano for a the Spanish-speaking ward for a while because they didn’t have anyone who could play; when my mother told the bishop that the local community college offered music class, he reminded her that many people in his ward did not have the time, money, or documentation for college classes. Now that I teach part-time at a university, I read at least one or two papers each semester about students who have been detained at the border because they seemed suspicious, or who have seen cousins gunned down by gang members, or who have been working six hours a day picking fruit after school since they were twelve years old. I am fluent in Spanish and I often interact with individuals who resemble Carlos, and yet I don’t really know them at all.

I started watching this movie thinking that it would be familiar to me, and yet by the end I felt completely disoriented. I might have grown up in the same neighborhood and gone to the same schools, but I know nothing about the life of someone who is trying to live under the radar in a country where he doesn’t speak the language and can’t get a decent job or place to live without documentation. The movie is not perfect (I’d probably give it a B), but I think it does a perfect job of opening a window into a world that most of us live in close proximity to and yet don’t ever see. I think that one of the most important functions of literature is to open new worlds to us, to make things visible that might otherwise be invisible. I have had similar experiences with Mormon literature; I start reading a story or essay thinking “these are my people and this is my world”, and by the end I find that I really knew nothing at all beyond my own experience. I also realize that art and literature have limits; I sometimes mistake the fact that I have read a lot about a historical time period or place for real knowledge of how people live there. But, however imperfect it is, literature is still one of the best ways for us to have those moments of realizing how vast the world is and how varied the experiences of life can be.

 Have you ever had an experience with a piece of writing, a film, or a piece of art that made you realize how much you didn’t really know about the world? How have you learned to really see people and to be more aware of the lives of others?

PS—This post is not about U.S. immigration policy. If you want to debate that, please find another forum.


  1. jks

    March 23, 2012

    This is such an important idea. We really have to work to see things outside of our own view. I believe it is important to try.

  2. Cheltz

    March 23, 2012

    I just read a post last night that absolutely shocked me. It was physically painful to read and know that someone had actually lived that. When I realized that her experience was probably not unique, and this was probably the experience of millions of women, I found it hard to sleep.

    I am, frankly, unsure of what to do (in thought and action, other then pray) with this new found knowledge.

  3. Charity

    March 23, 2012

    As a young new mom, and still a college student I read “There Are No Children Here” by Alex Kotlowitz, about two brothers growing up in the projects in Chicago. Frankly, looking back I don’t know why I thought I understood “those people”, but I thought I did. I thought I knew what they should do to get themselves out of their situation too. The book opened my eyes to a whole new world, making me realize how little I knew, and that I had only touched the tip of the iceberg by reading this book. The experience has stuck with me so strongly. I have never looked at anyone living in poverty with the same judgemental view I once did.

    My son, a junior in HS is an avid reader and always looking for something new to read. Last summer he pulled the book off our shelf and asked what it was. I told him about it, and he read it. Recently he was looking for a topic for a paper in English class. He needed a variety of types of media for sources (flim, books, websites, etc.). I reminded him of the book and he ended up doing his project on the effects of poverty on the American family. What a joy it was to talk over the contents of a book that had opened my eyes with my own son, grateful that he too could catch a glimpse of the bigger picture, and a little sooner than I did, too.

  4. Susan

    March 23, 2012

    Having just returned from a vacation to Mexico I was reminded of how blessed we are in my family and in this country. While there, I asked an employee at our hotel if Mexico had a national minimum wage as we do in the US and learned that they do, it varies by state, just as the US minimum wage does, but essentially is $4.60 per day and lower in some areas.

    One night as we walked around a resort town we had a little girl who was about four approach us to sell gum and other small items. We didn’t have any cash but offered her and her mother the to go container with the dinner I ordered without thought and then wasn’t even hungry for. We had paid the equivalent of almost three days of minimum wage in Mexico for that dinner. Before we could even walk away they were anxiously opening the box and had started to eat.

    While I believe our country has huge problems with immigration policy and the use of tax payer monies for benefits provided to illegal immigrants, my heart was once again softened to the people who simply flee here at the hope of a much better life and a life so many Americans so often take for granted.

  5. eliana

    March 23, 2012

    The Kozol book another person mentioned is a great one, though hard to read, for opening eyes. I think a lot of what I try to do is be open to new experiences, to listen when people or media are exposing you to new things, and recognize that we don’t know everything.
    Really appreciated this post.

  6. bonnieblythe

    March 23, 2012

    Like many people I’ve talked to over the years, my first mentored experience with another’s perspective was reading To Kill a Mockingbird in junior high school. Atticus Finch is still in my head, thank the stars. As I wandered through Dostoevsky and Crane and Cather and a library of others, he followed. I think, however, that my most profound experience was with the movie version of Freedom Writers. I watched it with my kids and the shared experience was much more than I’d ever had reading alone. My own discoveries as I watched were compounded by the discoveries I watched happen in my children and grew even more as we discussed it afterward. It was a profound learning experience.

  7. Orwell

    March 23, 2012

    I just had an experience like that today, when I watched this video:

  8. wreddyornot

    March 25, 2012

    In an attempt try to understand to some degree what some people around me were going through I wrote a novel, ALEJANDRO THE GREAT, imagining it as best I could. I also read several books, like We ARE Americans, UNDOCUMENTED STUDENTS PURSUING THE AMERICAN DREAM.

  9. Kellie aka Selwyn

    March 26, 2012

    I love watching movies made (and from) other parts of the world. I find that reading books from other cultures can be a little distancing, in that you don’t understand what they mean or say, but films show you the glances, the colours, the important things, so I can see and share it.

    The more I see, the more I realise I don’t know. It makes me hungry to learn more!

  10. Tiffany W.

    March 26, 2012

    Thanks for this post. I want to write more, but somehow the words just won’t come today.

  11. Michelle L.

    March 26, 2012

    Last year, I attended the premier of a movie- Lead With Love–that discusses how to preserve good family relationships when you find out your child is gay. Our friends were two of the parents interviewed for the film. Intelligent, thoughtful and respectful of religion, the film helped me understand in a way I never had before how poorly my gay brother had been treated as a teenager. Thanks for a great post, Jess.

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