I lost my groove. I’m not really sure where I put it, but suddenly, it was gone. I looked fervently for a few days, in all the usual places, but never was able to locate it. And so it has been, for nearly three years now, I’ve been doing without my groove.
I think I lost it somewhere in our last move. We moved from our lovely starter home into something slightly bigger to accommodate our growing numbers. In that move, we left a place where we were needed. Needed isn’t even the right word. I felt totally essential in our ward and neighborhood. We both held leadership positions in that ward from the first two weeks of our occupancy of that home. We both had good relationships with our neighbors, and hosted our annual neighborhood picnic every year. Wow, now I’m just bragging, but the truth of it is, we felt important there. I felt like we were making a difference in people’s lives.
Fast forward to our new home. Now we are surrounded by totally amazing and competent people. Here there are 5 amazing people for every calling at church. Here the neighbors “fight” to outdo each other with neighborhood get-togethers. Here, we aren’t really needed. Here, this ward and neighborhood get by quite nicely without us.
So, here’s the part where I show my true stupidity.
It has taken me three years of being here to realize that the vibrant and confident woman I was in our first house has been replaced by a whiner. I just realized it two nights ago. Yeah, two nights ago is all.
So now, how to get my groove back. I think the first step is to realize that our last ward and neighborhood has gotten along quite nicely without us, too. Oh, the arrogance of my self-perceptions. Yep, they’re staggering.
The second thing I’m starting to learn is that all the confident and vibrant people around me in our new neighborhood have just as many needs as our old neighbors. The people around me now are just better at hiding it.
I’ve also noticed that I am still the same person. I am still just as competent as I was three years ago. Or maybe just as incompetent. Who knows.
So, anyone know where I should start looking? I’d really like to have that thing back.