I just don’t feel like doing anything hard lately. Or unpleasant. Or boring.
My workouts have dwindled from enthusiastic walk/running on the treadmill to a trip upstairs a couple of times a day.
My “diet”, begun in January, now features chips and salsa (because salsa is healthy—it’s vegetables after all. And tortillas are corn—another vegetable) and cookie dough (I always have lots of milk with my cookie dough. Milk does a body good, you know.)
I don’t really care if there are dirty dishes in the sink when I go to bed. Heaven knows they’re not going anywhere. Although I used to always hear a naggy voice in my head saying, “you don’t want to wake-up to a sink full of dishes!” Now I just figure that I’d rather do them in the morning when I have more energy.
In case you can’t tell, I’ve lost my mojo.
I’m not moping around all day, or refusing to get out of bed, I have been doing a few things:
Making crafts (including hair clippies, soap, and a cute apron)
Talking on the phone to friends
Painting my toenails
Trying different kinds of candy bars from Whole Foods
My sense of “supposed to” is not working very well these days. My self-discipline has disappeared. I look at my friends who go insane if they miss a day of running; I can’t even begin to understand them. My mother-in-law has a fierce yearning to clean things (she calls it tidiness, I call it OCD). I kind of wish I were neurotic like that; to not be able to rest until things are just so.
Learning to master ourselves is one of the Big Lessons of mortality. The commandments are all about self-denial. As is fasting and having a calling and temple work. All the best things in life (and eternity) seem to come from putting our human wants aside for something greater.
What if you don’t feel like mastering yourself? What do you do if a stagnant lifestyle seems pretty appealing? We’re constantly taught the importance of doing better: better eating, better visiting teaching, better scripture reading. What if you just don’t want to? It’s pretty hard for me to get jazzed about reading more scriptures.
Is there some secret to motivating ourselves? What do you tell yourself to get off your booty and get busy? How do you find the self-control to do what you’re supposed to instead of what you want to? How do you get started again when you’re just plain burned out?
How the heck do I get my mojo back?