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Sabbath Revival: “Choose a companion you can stand…”

By Julia Blue

With Valentines Day in the USA  just behind us, I thought this gem by Dalene back in February 2008 was worth revisiting. The original post has so many wonderful comments I encourage you to read them, but please share any thoughts you have to the comments below.  


It’s not like I attend church meetings looking for stand-up comedy, but when I happen to be indulged with a few good laughs in the middle of my worship it’s a BIG bonus. Kind of like discovering one of the kids took out the trash without being asked or finding there are five different kinds of imported cheeses in your lasagna.

Can I just tell you how much I loved the world-wide leadership training meeting last weekend? The discussion was educational, inspiring, congenial, validating (that’s another post for another day) and even funny. And the best joke was one that wasn’t even intended. Elder Oaks was talking about marriage and he counseled the single adults in the audience to “Choose a companion you can stand…

…together with.” I realize he meant to make his point in one simple sentence and he didn’t mean to be funny, but the accidental pause in his delivery gave me pause. As well as a good laugh. His advice is good no matter which way you take it. Maybe even both. Words to live by.

Choosing well is an important first step on the road to eternal companionship. (Did I ever tell you that when I entered the MTC my then-boyfriend/now-husband gave me a ring? No, not that kind of ring. A CTR ring. But he told me that it stood for much more than just “Choose The Right.” It also stood for Choose The Rowley. But I digress.)

And after the choosing? Well then–as was stressed in the meeting (don’t you love it when they tell it like it is? I do!)–there is still all that hard work! I don’t think we talk about this work part of the equation nearly enough. It may even catch some of us by surprise. It’s not just work to keep yourself standing by your man, but sometimes–at least in my case–it can be even more work to keep yourself someone to be stood by. And sometimes, frankly, it’s work just to tear yourself away from the domestic bliss (please oblige me by duly noting my tongue firmly planted in my cheek) of home and get out there and date.

Maybe I need a little help. In honor of Happy St. De Beers/Hallmark/Sees/FTD Day tomorrow, let’s discuss dating and marriage today. In particular I’m looking for advice (Dear Segullah…). It doesn’t matter whether you’re single, newly wed, deep in the throws of hot–or even not-so-hot–monogamy, dating again after divorce, nearly dead or anywhere in between, dating and marriage is probably somewhere on your to-do list.

So please dish out your best advice on dating–where, when or how–what works for you? Or tell me the one thing you wish someone would have told you about being and staying married, but didn’t. Is there anything you’ve had to learn the hard way? Let’s hear it. Make me laugh. Make me cry. I want it all.


About Julia Blue

(Blog Team) married to a hunky Aussie cowboy carpenter farmer composer filmmaker, who has turned her world upside down (this is a good thing). For even more fun, she flies around the world serving snacks and drinks, checking that seat belts are fastened, occasionally providing medical attention and hoping to never be a firefighter.

4 thoughts on “Sabbath Revival: “Choose a companion you can stand…””

  1. At my bridal shower — which somehow, awesomely, ended up including my grandpa, and my husband — my grandpa told us, "there may be nights you go to bed facing away from each other… At some point during the night, turn back around." It's one of those small things that has had a profound effect on my state of mind on those nights we go to bed 'facing away.' It makes turning back a reminder of kind if that classic line "this is not the hill I choose to die on." As well as a feeling of, I still choose you.

  2. My husband told me every detail of his past pretty much on our first date. I told him bits and pieces but didn't open up until after we were married. My advice…sharing important details of your sordid past should be shared neither on your first date or after you are married. Somewhere in between is much better! Happy Dating!!

  3. Make dating a priority. After 15 years of mostly not dating, the message my husband and I heard from our Stake Conference a month ago was "date your spouse". It has strengthened our marriage immensely to deliberately set time aside to spend with each other.


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