Post Pandemic Temple Worship

By Emily Milner

Friends, I returned to the temple this past week for the first time in over a year. I thought I might cry through the entire session—I’ve done that before—but I did not. Instead I felt joyful and at home: a deep, grateful peace. The temple worship drought has felt as punishing as any other pandemic effect to me. Whenever I have soul-wrenching problems, the temple is my solace, and to be without it for so long felt like God was one step farther away, like I had to work that much harder to encounter and be healed by the divine.

I wrote a poem about this last February:

It Has Been Nearly A Year Since the Last Time I Went to the Temple and It’s Driving Me Nuts

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Finding Myself in the Temple

By Emily Milner

The first time I went to the temple I felt the Spirit. And I was also baffled. Stumped. Confused that the big mystery of temple worship was at once more simple and far more complicated than I had ever imagined.

I returned as often as I could before my mission and tried to figure out all the different layers of symbolism at once. This did not work. I returned after my mission and tried to figure out one thing at a time. Sometimes I would get a new flash of insight. Sometimes not.

As I became busier and less able to attend with the frequency I wanted, when I returned I tried to just feel the Spirit and receive revelation for needs in my life right then. This frequently succeeded. To feel the Spirit in the temple I had to take on faith that the endowment was real, and let it wash over me, absorbing what I could.

After over twenty years of attending the temple, I still don’t get it all. Or maybe I should say instead, I am still learning. But I want to share three ways that I have found myself in the temple.

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