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Loving a Person with NPD: Can You Hug a Porcupine?

By Karen Austin

Image by Teton via Creative Commons Over the last few weeks, I have opened Twitter to find trending content relating to trial featuring Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.  While I am not qualified to assess the mental disorders that these celebrities might be manifesting, their issues have given me cause to think about how I …

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The Long and the Short (and the Straight and the Curly) of It.

By Kylie Turley

SO I’M SHALLOW. I should be writing some deep essay about love, life, depression, or death, and instead I choose to tell you about my hair. You see, here’s the deal: it used to be curly. Not a little curly, but crazy-gorgeous, wavy-brunette-curls curly. It was strangers-stop-me-on-the-street-to-ask-about-it curly. I admit that for a few teenage years, …

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When A Bookcase Isn’t

By Kellie Purcill

When I move, the first thing I unpack is the kitchen for necessity, then my books to make the house my home. My bookcase is the repository for all my inanimate preciouses. Books, movies, a couple of photos, car keys, ornaments, dust you can’t see if you squint slightly, art and family heirlooms all shoved, …

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Sharing my Husband

By Heather Oman

My sister has known my husband longer than I have. They went to the same high school, and she was friends with his sister long before he and I ever met. For those who don’t know the story, Nathan and I met in a debate round. I’m pretty sure no other love story has such …

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The Space for Change

By Leslie Graff

Systems are resistant to change.

This is one of the fundamental principles of systems theory (a paradigm for looking at people’s lives). Our lives are intricate webs of relationships and forces – home, church, school, community, family, friends.  A shift in one area, relationship, or routine sends ripples across the whole system.  So in essence the system tries to maintain it’s balance because negotiating a new normal requires a lot of energy and resources.

Basically everything around us enforces the status quo. It begs to be static.
It’s why bad patterns cycle over and over again. It’s why relationships stay dysfunctional. It’s why although people express a desire for change, it often never materializes. It’s why we set the same new year’s resolutions every year.

It is a lot of work to change.

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