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Just Receive

By Jessie Christensen

My ex-husband bought me a waffle maker for Christmas. Well, technically, my kids “bought” me a waffle maker for Christmas, but I know they don’t get that kind of money from their allowance. A few weeks ago, when my ex dropped the kids off on Sunday morning, he brought in a large box and stuck it under my tree. I immediately became nervous because I knew that he spent a fair amount of money on a gift for me, and I certainly had not done the same for him. Helping the kids buy presents for their dad somehow fell off my to-do list this December; I know the two oldest used some of their own money to buy a few trinkets for him at the school’s “Santa’s Workshop,” but the youngest didn’t get him anything. His generous funding of the kids’ gift to me left me feeling awkward—first that I had not helped them reciprocate equally and secondly because I wasn’t sure what the inspiration for his generosity was. Guilt over his past actions? A desire to make himself feel better and to be a ‘good’ person by being nice to his ex-wife? A desire to soften my heart and possibly make it more forgiving? But then, on Christmas morning, as I unwrapped my present, I saw the excited faces of my children intent on my reaction. They knew what I wanted most and were filled with joy as they watched me open their gift to me. I felt my heart soften and a little voice in the back of my mind whispered Receive, just receive.

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