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The Tyranny of Stuff

By Angela Hallstrom

A quick reminder: Segullah’s book club will be discussing The Year My Son and I Were Born by our own Kathryn Lynard Soper next month, on Thursday August 18th, so get reading! Now on to the post.

Over the last few weeks, the stuff I own has been stressing me out to a particularly lamentable degree. For example:

–My son left his Nintendo DS in the pocket of his cargo shorts. Since I’m the kind of laundress who pays extraordinary attention to detail, I dumped the shorts in the washer without a second glance. I also moved the shorts from the washer to the dryer without thinking twice. (All you moms out there who painstakingly remove every gum wrapper from every pocket before laundering can feel smug now. It’s okay. You’ve earned the right.) I tried the trick where you leave an electronic device that’s gotten wet in a bucket of rice — and I also thought I’d try wishing upon a star, finding a penny and picking it up, and bowing three times facing east — and I was momentarily heartened when the device actually turned back on. But alas, turning on is all it will do. This particular Ninten-death is the THIRD time that my household has lost a DS due to water damage. The previous two incidents were both toilet related (don’t ask). So this has got me thinking: if Satan really does control the water, he must have a vested interest in preventing my children from playing Pokemon HeartGold.

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