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Internal Idiom Revised

By Lara Niedermeyer

Silver lines snake up my belly
and my daughter claims them
with childlike pride and I’ve
spent a few rounds
flat on the floor, unresponsive as
nobody’s business, so why should
I feel on the less-than side of the
catwalk?

Skin-deep seems a little underrated
as I try and button up and
cannot seem to fit myself—
except with my eyes closed—
into anything but
less-than, almost, tired
day-to-day-ness filled with who I
might have been

if I hadn’t lost my figure, and
(foolishly, I know)
I wish for my size-six days,
complete with vanity and confidence
and I consider giving back
all that wisdom, hard-won and
opposition-thwarting
though it is.

Still, he tells me I am more-than
and enough to fill his world twice over, and
I don’t need blonde highlights or
six-pack abs to impress him.
And I believe it most as he whispers in
the nearly-dawn or past-bedtime
and traces silver vines that climb
my belly, not so flat but full of life again.

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About Lara Niedermeyer

Lara Niedermeyer writes to savor and connect. Growing up in Port Townsend, Washington, she was surrounded by art in all its forms and the wild coast of the Pacific. This foundational experience and landscape continue to shape her creative choices. Raised on the poems of Carol Lynn Pearson (whose books she snuck off her mother’s shelf and hid in her suitcase when leaving home), she revels in poetry which is both mystical and plain-spoken. Joining Segullah in 2009, she previously served as Poetry Editor and on the Poetry Board. Her poems have been published in the anthology “Seasons of Change,” Segullah, and read aloud for the “Words Fall In” podcast. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her family, where she rents vintage dishes for events, and regularly teaches writing workshops.

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