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Sam the Man

By Kathyrn Lynard

Driving in the van, after dropping kids off at school.

Sam: My teacher is mean sometimes.

Me: When is she mean?

Sam: When we’re leaving she doesn’t say goodbye. That’s mean. That’s why I’ll get a shotgun and shoot her.

Me: *stunned into silence*

Sam: That’s a joke, Mom.

Me: Well, you shouldn’t joke about shooting someone.

Sam: Why not?

Me: Because shooting someone is a very bad thing to do.

Sam: Okay, then, I’ll joke about the potty.


About Kathyrn Lynard

(Founding Editor) is the author of the memoir The Year My Son and I Were Born (Globe Pequot Press, 2009) and the editor of four published anthologies. She contributes to Mormon forums from Meridian Magazine to Sunstone on a variety of topics including gender issues, disability, mental health, sexuality, family life, and spirituality.

7 thoughts on “Sam the Man”

  1. Too funny. And I like the way you seem to have taken his shooting joke with a grain of salt. Sam sounds like a character who will say about anything, and you're smart not to make a huge deal of it. I'd be much more likely to jump to the conclusion that my kid really did want to shoot the teacher. I'm going to remember your example.

  2. Yep, you're right, Ahna. Lots of salt around here!

    I should mention Sam's got 2 teen/tween brothers who are fascinated with guns. Sent 'em to scout camp and they were never the same. 😉

    It's gotta be a y-chromosome thing.

  3. Thanks for the laugh. I've read that boys of a certain age enjoy trying to shock people with language (read: boys of all ages enjoy shocking their moms with language). I was excited to hear my one son call my other one "potty-head," because I figure that is the worst/most shocking word he knows.

  4. That makes me incredibly happy.
    Maybe it was a really really smart, manipulative thought ie: "How can I get approval for my potty jokes? AHA! Test the water with shooting jokes!" Kind of like when you would ask for a cabbage patch doll AND a pony–so the doll didn't seem too exorbitant in retrospect…

  5. Yeah, we'd had multiple conversations prior to this one about not making potty jokes–I don't know if he planned it as a bargaining chip, but he sure used it as one!

    The kid kills me. Pun intended.


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