The Ties That Bind

A few years ago I became laser-focused on learning about sound and its connection to emotional and physical healing. When I first picked up the frame drum, I knew it was the instrument for me. The frame drum is built on a hoop with skin on one or both sides. Sometimes the drum hide and/or the wooden frame are painted or decorated with designs and symbols that have meaning. Bells or ribbons with knots symbolizing prayers can also be tied on. The drum is found in every culture around the world and is the most ancient tool we know of for altering conscious states. I began to purchase them and use them in my personal meditation practice as well as with clients who had come for sound therapy. Eventually, I made one for myself and started leading drum circles with a friend who taught me more about drums, how they are made, and the individual purposes they serve.

Women led mystery rites in ancient times — drumming and dancing for days. They were the ones who held the keys to unlocking the doors to the heavens. Layne Redmond wrote about the female drummer. She aligned “herself with sacred rhythms, she acted as summoner and transformer, invoking divine energy and transmitting it to the community.” This was not a quiet sacrament meeting. Women rocked the house as they connected with God, worshipping and praising, dancing and singing. It sounded like my kind of church.

Each hide has a specific energy and purpose and is used for different ceremonies. One of the drums I really wanted to make was a horsehide drum to use during meditations. Horse is a messenger to and from the spirit world. It is symbolic of the shamanic journey that leads us from one world to the next. The horse is like a guardian spirit that guides you and takes you safely into a transcendent state. It is pure energy and the pounding on this drum is like hoofbeats, transporting a person quickly through any cracks in the veil. When I got my thick hard rawhide I began the process by making a bath infused with herbs and oils to soak the hide and make it soft. I had exciting plans for the design of this drum. While it soaked for two days, I worked on the frame.

I wanted to paint the frame, but when I got out my paints, the inspiration just wasn’t there. It took me a long time to figure out what the frame wanted to be. I had never wood burned anything before, but that’s what I felt I needed to do. So, with great difficulty, I burned a horse figure into the frame. I wanted to write something beautiful on the inside that was about the power and stamina of the horse as well as about spiritual journeys. While looking for the words to write, I came upon the phrase, “One joy dispels a hundred griefs,” and knew it was supposed to be in the drum. It made no sense to me to use that phrase as this was a spiritual journeying drum, but the guidance was clear. I burned the given phrase in runes and stained the frame. It was ready.

I had found the perfect stick handle on a hike. I broke the bark away, sanded and stained it. I punched thirty-six holes in the perimeter in the hide for the design I wanted. It was slow-going, but I was contemplative and happy that morning, working outside and with the materials I love. I laced the outside of the hide, but it would not pull in tight no matter what I did. The hide was too thick. After a long time, I knew I had to throw in the towel with my geometric design. I decided to do a tree lacing symbol instead and use the stick in a different way. I laced and undid and wrapped and resoaked and laced again. But again, the hide and lacings would not bend to my will. I was being stretched more than the drum skin. I undid everything and set the hide back into the cool water to rest.
Taking a break myself from the heat and sun, I went inside to get a drink and opened Facebook. The first thing I saw was the shocking announcement of the passing of an old, dear high school and college friend. All the memories of him flooded in and I just started sobbing; crying for his wife and five kids who were left behind. He was a giant of a soul. Where and what was he doing now?

I stumbled back out to try my hand at the drum, my mind still on the loss of my friend. I started over again and decided to just cross the lacings in a basic design – one, two,…fourteen…twenty-two…forty…with the thirty-six holes I had made, there were seventy-two lacings across the sixteen-inch wide drum. My friend showed up for a little bit and tried to help me hold the lacings as I reworked them and pulled on them, trying to tighten the drum head. The day stretched on into the late afternoon. It was too much lacing and all wrong. I was tired and sad and laid my head down on the lacing of the drum. I felt like giving up. Dinner had come and gone and the light was getting low. That is when I felt the drum speak to me. “Listen. Breathe. Open your heart. Sometimes our plans are not what God has in store for us. You were mistaken. Undo the lacing and start again. I’ll guide you and while I guide, you can grieve.”

Again, I undid my plans that were wrapped in that giant bundle of lacing and laid my hands on the hide. “Show me,” I whispered. I saw a picture in my mind of what the drum wanted to be. Tie, across, tie, snip. Tie, across, tie, snip. Six by six, weaving and wrapping. As my hands moved, my heart spilled open, letting go of the grief. The drum gave me it’s wisdom and its comfort.
I worked in the light spilling from the kitchen window as it was getting dark. My hands turned cold from working with the wet lacing and my fingers were stiff and sore. As I wove, I thought of how life is never what we expect. Our spiritual journeys are God’s weaving and creation.
At 10:00 pm, I snipped the last lacing and caught my finger. Blood dripped down my hand and ceremonially I placed a drop right in the center of the drum. Blood, sweat, and tears truly went into the making of it. The horsehide drum dried beautifully and now has a voice that is deep and strong like a grandmother dispelling wisdom. I’ve played it in honor of my friend’s life and his journey to the other side. When I beat it or even look at it, I feel comforted and warm. Each drum has a purpose, just like people. This drum fulfilled its mission and became what it wanted and needed to be – the sacred tool in whom “One joy dispels a hundred griefs.”