This morning at the temple initiatory, most of my names were simply surnames and this struck me in a way that it can only strike a sleep deprived and anxiously addled brain that resides in the cranium of a lady still very much postpartum: I just spent almost nine months obsessing over my baby’s name… and maybe it doesn’t even matter.
Was I sad for these women without first names, without things for me to call them? Or was it more a deep respect a la the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier? Did their lack of moniker and/or our unknowing make them revered? Or were they just ladies with indecipherable birth certificates?
Jude. Did we choose it right? People say to me, “I love that name.” “He’s such a Jude.” I say back, “Really?” and, “Really???” Because I fretted a bit on committing to it. Or even calling him by it for that matter. For the first few weeks, I called him just this: “baby.” How clever and creative of me right? But that’s what he was, that’s all he looked like. Calling him anything would have made his ethereal perfection seem too worldly, and any name was too old, too lawyerish, to actorish, too biblical, too silly, too trendy, too formal…
Do we become our names, or do our names become us? Was it easy for you to name you children? Should whimsy and taste be the only factors taken into consideration, or do we attempt to name the adult we think we’ll raise? What about nicknames? What’s in a name? Or does it really even matter? Is this a silly question only made anxious by aforementioned addled mommy-brain?
But I’m curious, do you love your name?
I do mine. Brooke. And I love Jude’s name too. Now.
I'm super into baby names and I promise I've spent more time than anyone I know trying to decide on good ones. I couldn't care less about a name's meaning; mine means "white wave". Whatever. All I care about is that a name have an obvious pronunciation, an obvious spelling but still be unusual although not made up. I have a common name that is spelled uncommonly–it's the worst of both worlds!
Well, my name is pretty tough to live up to, but I try to take it seriously. In High School, I posted Moroni 7:45 on my wall with the sentence "Live up to your name" following it. I often get heads turned and giggles when there's a talk on charity in Sacrament meeting. It gives me something to work towards.
I did use it to my advantage at BYU. When I first met my now-husband, I untroduced myself and said, "You know, like the Book of Mormon says, men are nothing without charity (Moroni 7:44)." He remembered my name the next time he saw me : ).
Thanks for a very interesting post!
I am obsessed with names, their spellings, their meanings, their origins. I agonized over my own children's names, hoping to find the perfect one based on the same qualities Jennie mentioned above.
I've felt the meaning of my own name especially strongly lately. My daughter attends a Jewish preschool, and every time I introduce myself to another parent, I feel my otherness. I'm obviously not Jewish with a name that is derived from Christ's.
Barbara means stranger. I have hoped that didn't mean I was strange. I don't mind being unique but strange has a bad connotation. I think the stranger is probably a reference to someone from another land or area. I don't want to be an outsider either.
As many a childless person, I have thought about names for children that I might have some day. I wanted to name a son Nathaniel as the apostle was without guile.
I guess I'm another name fanatic–my sister and I spent hours in high school pouring over baby name books, not because we were fantasizing about future children, but just because it's fascinating. I actually wrote a paper on names for college–one of the most interesting things I found (gospel-related, anyway) was that in the Hebraic tradition, names equated to characteristics–that's why it's so significant that Abram, Sarai, and Jacob all had their names changed following important spiritual experiences. That's also why it's significant that we take upon us the name of Christ–it's not simply his name, but the attendant characteristics that we assume.
Anyway, as far as your questions, I've always liked my name. It's not Shakespearean, as most people assume, but a combination of my grandparents' names (Ross and Evelyn). I like it because I think it's elegant, and it's unusual without being weird. For my children, we simply tried to pick names that we liked, or that had some kind of family significance: we named my daughter after our grandmothers: Evelyn Adriana. (We also try to check beforehand about the name's meaning–for years I loved the name Bronwen, until I found out that it meant "beautiful breast" and didn't think I could saddle a daughter with that . . .)
I'm on the other end of the spectrum — I don't know what my name means, and my kids' names are only significant because I like the way they sound. The only baby-naming issue we've had is that my husband is set on a certain girl name and I hate it. We garnered a teensy bit of "fame" when the Normal Mormon Husband featured our dilemma on his blog when we had a girl after three boys and had to address the issue. Final outcome: I won. 🙂
When we were picking out names for our first born, I was very interested in names that held a meaning and were attached to a Bible Hero. I wanted my children to have someone they could connect to as they ventured through life. I have all boys, so those names came easily and it is incredible how their personalities are perfect for their names and their Bible hero. My 8 year informs of that each and every single day!
As for my name, I don't go by my given name, but a nickname. My nickname means, "Sloped meadow; peaceful meadow." I learned today how my nickname is said in other languages and I am over the moon with that! Rachel in Hebrew is divine! I think I will make it my camp name.
I love my meaning of my name and try to be peaceful. A person who others can come to for help or advise.
I have always loved my name. It's unique and means something good–happiness. But when I had kids I wanted to make sure they could find their names on pencils and things like that. Their names are interesting but not unheard of. And I didn't go by the names' meanings, we just loved them and how they all fit together.
My mother is very into names. She studied meanings and considered nicknames and tested for alliteration. Our names were all carefully chosen.
I heard my oldest son's name when another child was blessed at church and decided to copy it.
I just liked my second and third sons' names. No particular reason except that they rhymed with the first.
For the fourth, my husband and I both had individual, distinct promptings that he needed to be named after a pioneer ancestor who was named after an obscure person in the Bible. Outside of Mormondom, noone has ever really heard of his name.
For the fifth (first daughter), I took letters from both my husband's and my names and discovered that they make up her name. In fact, the first half of her name comes from me, the second half comes from my husband, and her middle name is the same as his middle name (because he was named after an aunt).
All of my kids have middle names from family members.
Two Julys ago, I miscarried my first pregnancy. I had already gotten married later (older) than I would have chosen, and I was aching for a baby.
The following November, a seven year old little girl whom I had seen but never talked to came and sat down by me during Sacrament Meeting. The meeting had already started. She put her head on my shoulder and said, "You're going to be a mother some day." I nodded, thankful for her confidence. Then she turned her whole head around and looked me in the eyes. She said, "You really want to be a mother, don't you." I hadn't realized my transparency, I guess, because it felt like she was looking right through me. I told her I wanted to be a mother more than anything.
She confidently responded, "Hannah prayed, and she got Samuel. Prayer really does work." I was floored. I asked her if she could maybe say a prayer for me. She obviously had faith enough for miracles to happen.
I was pregnant the next month. We named him Samuel. Prayer really does work.
My real name means "youthful". If the shoe fits…
@10 I have a Samuel with a similar story… knowing we would require fertility treatment when the time came, my husband and I both prayed at the temple about when the time might be, and both received a prompting that included the name our child was to be called… Samuel was born exactly 1 year later, to the day.
Barb, that's exactly why we gave our son the name Nathaniel. (There was a conference talk about the man without guile the spring he was born.) It turned out to be true–he has aspergers. I hadn't thought about the connection 'till you mentioned it.
Without the honeybee we would not have the multitude of flowers, fruit, grasses and trees that we do! They are such a little thing that makes all the difference. A small but integral part of the Lord's plan for the earth.
My name is so common that it's never felt like me. Which could be why I never answer to Jennifer. Yet we gave our last daughter Jennifer as a middle name. Both sides of our family were asking us to name her after someone, we named her after me so they couldn't complain.
My husband doesn't like naming our children after anyone – too much pressure and he wants them to be their own people. This probably stems from his very traditional name that has been handed down for 8 generations. Which we felt pressured to give to our son, being the oldest son of the oldest son.
No, I'm not Hawaiian. Yes, I was very shy and used to cringe whenever a new teacher tried to read my name on a classroom roll. It's not hard to imagine how the pronounciation was mangled in a rural Utah setting. Fortunately, I was rarely teased, maybe because I went through elementary school long before Nanny McPhee hit the silver screen!
My name means "Little Darling" and my parents picked it out while vacationing in Hawaii. Little did they know that I would grow up to be a mom of four lively boys who require a great deal of internal fortitude. Any cuteness associated with my name has long since been tucked away like a frilly little dress. 🙂
All of my sisters have unusual names, though my parents chose common names for my brothers. Interesting.
I suppose I reacted by suggesting to my husband that we choose commonly-used Biblical names for our children. He readily agreed; I was the one going through pregnancy and delivery! We put a lot of thought into the meanings of the names we chose, though our daughter once mentioned that she wishes that her name had a bit more of an unusual flair.
She hasn't walked in my shoes. haha!
well I am named after a weed, but a pretty one!!
I love love talking about baby names. My husband does not. I love old time names for my girls. The first one was easy to name but 2 later ones were a struggle to come to a consensus.
1st baby named after My great grandma
2nd baby named after girl from my mission
3rd baby named after Virginia Woolf – a bit of a surprise…
"Rebecca" is alternately translated as "a noose" or "heifer." I am mostly indifferent to my name.
I didn't give any consideration to the literal meanings of my children's names. They were all named after people I admire who had cool names.
I've always *disliked* my real name intensely. When I was in 4th grade, I decided to change it. I approached my parents with the idea that I wanted to go by Stephanie (you lucky ones) which I thought was so feminine and beautiful and fluffy. My dad said sure, but I would have to change my middle name also: to Delphinium!! I didn't change my name.
Although my previous comment sounds like I was complaining, I do like the musical sound of my name. When paired with my German maiden name, it was definitely unique. 🙂
I never thought about the honeybee much (honey IS sweet, right?), but I was surprised that to find the origin is Hebrew. I don't know why that surprised me. It has taken me years to appreciate my name. I've always felt awkward and hadn't known many with my name. My daughter, Jenna, has been telling me lately that she doesn't want her name and asks me why I didn't name her Jennifer? I think her name is beautiful, but I guess it is natural to go through some kind of process of acceptance with our names. I hope one day she loves it.
I've always loved my name. And I loved that it was rather unique when I was growing up. Now there are lots of Melissas, but I was always the only one in my class. And I even liked the honeybee meaning. I hope my children love their names as much as I've loved mine.
I was named after a 1940's film noir murder mystery. Though like my name, I spent my childhood rather miffed at my parents for this–who names their only daughter after a murder mystery movie? I've never liked the alliteration of my first and last name together, and always consoled myself about this with the idea that I would change my name when I married. I'm 32 and single. 🙂
My middle name is my grandmother's name: Elzina. I know nothing about its origin or meaning, but would really like to find out! (My grandmother is not living, and my mother doesn't seem to know.) I love having an unusual middle name combined with a fairly common–but not super common–first name.
I love your name Melissa. And I loved the image you used. Did you layer it in photoshop? My parents named everyone in my family after someone in the Bible, except me. But I've always liked my name. When it came to choosing names for our children, I was picky for all sorts of reasons. I wanted it to sound good, to not be overused, to remind them of someone good they could remember or look up to. And naming twins (we have two sets) made it even more complicated because they had to work together but not sound sing-songy. I think names are important but when it comes down to it, it's the person who gives their name meaning.
I love my real name but it is hard for people to spell it/pronounce it correctly. Sigh. So, for my son I wanted him to have a name that was easy to spell AND pronounce but not something too common. I also wanted it to have some sort of gospel/scriptural significance. My husband and I had agreed on a name, but when he was born, we totally changed our minds! The name we had picked just didn't fit. But the alternate name that we came up with fit all of our criteria anyway, so it all worked out ok in the end.
My dad had a neat experience where he felt inspired that he and my mom were going to have a girl and they should name me Rebecca. I like knowing that. I was called "Becky," though, until I went away to college. Then I decided I should go by my given name, since Someone had gone through the trouble of giving it to me.
My sixth child was the hardest to name. It took us two weeks. We had a whole list of names we loved. How could we choose? We finally settled on Kamryn–I saw in on the doctor's brag board the week after she was born. Sometimes I wish I could use all the names I love… but six is pretty good.
I hated my given name; so much so that I begged my parents to allow me to go by my middle name, which I have since I was nine. I was always jealous of my siblings who were all named after family members or friends. All their names had a reason and a meaning. My parents just liked the sound of my name, which is why I was given it. I always longed for more; I wanted the connection, I wanted the history.
When it came time to name our firstborn, my husband and I both picked the same name separately from one another. Problem was that it was a boy's name and we ended up having a girl. I agonized over my daughter's name for a long time. I really wanted to give her a name that meant something and I particularly wanted her name to have some religious connection, whether it was a name from the Bible, church history, or our own family trees. But there are so few women in the Bible and Book of Mormon and there weren't very many female family names on either of our sides that we liked. We ended up naming her Zara, after the city of Zarahemla. Most non-Mormons find the name unique and very pretty, but not so strange that it's hard to spell or difficult to pronounce. It's my hope that she'll love her name and respect the reasons we gave it to her. Since she's only six months old, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.