Divine silence is a specific pain,
both “familiar and impossible.”
Cheek to cheek, my newborn baby son.
Remember how merciful, is God.
Remember my own samadhi.
Velvety aspen bark against my hand.
Remember too, Jesus didn’t come
to save me from the Romans.
Carpet-burned knees from praying.
He is the God who weeps, divine
eruptions upon every mundane day.
A black and white striped dragonfly.
Easy answers cheapen suffering.
God alchemizes. Humans make their best guess.
The day fog coated each tree branch in crystals.
In silence I choose, I use agency,
a faulty back-up plan to a fickle father.
(At least I tried.)
What if sometimes we floated and sometimes not?
That would be absurd! Patience! For,
Oh, the beauty of the earth,
epigenetics suggests God in me.
But no one argues gravity.
About Christie Axson Gardiner
Christie Axson Gardiner is an award-winning author, poet, writer, and performer. Her literary oeuvre includes four ecumenical books (one, currently in its ninth printing), four anthologies, journal publications, booklets, articles, and her own videocast/podcast. Additionally, Christie has made numerous appearances as a regular contributor to local media, co-hosted two successful podcasts, has performed on stages across the United States, and serves as a facilitator of writing retreats for women. She worked in poetry acquisition for Inscapeliterary journal and holds a bachelor’s degree in creative writing from Utah Valley University. She is the winner of a Hart Larson Poetry award in 2025 and Utah’s Best in State Nonfiction winner in 2020. Recent and upcoming publication credits include poems and essays in Humana Obscura, The Poetry of Travel, The Dewdrop, Wild Greens Magazine, Reverie Literary Magazine, Wild Roof Journal, and Inscape Journal. Christie has received generous support from Craigardan’s Interdisciplinary Residency Program in 2024, New York Writers Institute in 2023, Utah’s Best in State Nonfiction award in 2020, the Ivory Futures Award 2022-2023 and the Capitol Reef National Park Field Station in 2023.
